Sunday, April 30, 2006

view askew

First of all, my apologies to any Kevin Smith fans who Googled their way here by mistake. Instead of Jay and Silent Bob, today's topic is actually the changes at "The View," the daily women's talk show on ABC-TV.

After a few years of working at male-targeted radio stations, I wanted to expand my horizons and be able to host a show at a station that appeals to female listeners. I started recording "The View" on my TiVo to see which "hot topics" they were covering.
After a year or two, I gave up on it because I was increasingly frustrated by the ladies' simultaneous talking in particular and by Star Jones in general. I still see an occasional highlight from the daily gabfest because some of my favorite comedy shows like "Jimmy Kimmel Live" and "Best Week Ever" are also oddly fascinated by "The View."

The upcoming departure of Meredith Vieira and the hiring of Rosie O'Donnell have me wondering who will leave the show next. I made up a few scenarios:
  • Rosie O'Donnell - It turns out that she doesn't like sharing the spotlight with the other ladies but uses the excuses that she only had a one-year contract and that she's producing a dinner-theatre revival of "Taboo" in Branson.
  • Joy Behar - It turns out that she misses her pal Meredith and doesn't like sharing the laughs with another comedian but she uses the excuse that she has been appointed campaign manager for Hillary Clinton.
  • Star Jones - It turns out that her mysterious weight loss has also made her thin-skinned and she is easily insulted whenever Rosie and Joy speak the truth about her but she uses the excuses that her line of Star Jones Body Butter is demanding her full-time attention and besides, Al has been feeling neglected and is spending too much time on MySpace.com.
  • Elisabeth Hasselbeck - It turns out that she tried to tender her resignation several times but nobody else on the panel was listening to her. She finally stops coming to work after the birth of her seventh child and the other ladies still don't notice. Meanwhile her eldest daughter Grace wins a million bucks on the 52nd season of "Survivor."
  • Barbara Walters - It turns out that she finally decides to retire on the occasion of her 100th birthday. All the other ladies give their glowing tributes except for Elisabeth who is rudely interrupted by Joy and Star. Barbara spends the rest of her days reenacting "Sunset Boulevard" with Bill Geddie playing the part of Max.
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1 Comments:

Blogger jess said...

all realistic, yet highly disturbing, scenarios.
bravo!

4/30/2006  

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