come on down

It's the fifth day of Christmas and I'm still catching up on some holiday viewing. I probably would have gotten to this sooner if I had been able to take some vacation time this week like I did at previous jobs. The week after Christmas doesn't quite feel the same to me when I still have to wake up for work in the morning. Anyway, on Christmas Eve, I recorded a show called "Santa Salutes the Stars," without knowing what it was. It turned out to be an incredibly cheesy Christmas parade in Orlando. I knew it would be spectacular as soon as "The Price Is Right's" Rich Fields read the following script to start the show:

From the family entertainment capital of the world, Orlando, Florida, the Real Yellow Pages from BellSouth presents "Santa Salutes the Stars" starring Hollywood entertainer and TV funnyman Alan Thicke; from TV's "Days of Our Lives," Patrika Darbo; with performances by "American Idol" sensation Kevin Covais; country performing artist Brian McComas; TV personality and singer Shawn King; The Gemz; CMA female vocalist of the year Janie Fricke; country great John Conlee; and featuring the one and only Gloria Gaynor; plus a special appearance by radio and TV talk legend Larry King; American Idol's Melissa McGhee; and Santa Claus!

The parade was telecast on Superstation WGN. I doubt it will ever be shown again but a paradegoer did post some home video on YouTube.

Larry King's special appearance consisted of standing next to his wife on a parade float as she sang about something in the oven and the whole "fandamily" comin' and how she's "Gotta Love the Holidays." Covais warbled his way through "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" but the worst thing might have been the stilted, almost remedial way Patrika Darbo read from her script. Or maybe it was the middle school aged dancers lip syncing to TLC's version of "Sleigh Ride." Or the superstar appearance by the guy who played Paulie Gatto in "The Godfather." I can't decide.