why I oughta...

Preparations are in full swing for my upcoming road trip to Branson, Hot Springs and Memphis. The first person I thought of in Branson was Little Timmy Padilla, who used to play accordion for us at KLOS before getting a job at the Lawrence Welk Resort Theatre. I was hoping we could catch Timmy in a matinée before seeing Jim Stafford at night. According to his website, Tim has moved back to Studio City. He will be in Branson for a week but unfortunately it's not while I'm there.

My wife and I went to AAA to get maps and TourBooks. We got there an hour before closing, which left no time for them to make us a TripTik. Not to worry, they said they would mail it to us. Meanwhile, I've been sifting through the TourBooks looking for restaurants in Branson. I also emailed Comedy World co-founder Kent Emmons who has connections there. He wrote back with several fine dining options.

Something else in the AAA TourBook is too weird not to mention. Here's the exact quote: "One of the flashiest shows in town is at the Shoji Tabuchi Theatre on Shepherd of the Hills Expressway. Tabuchi -- who has a Moe Stooge pudding bowl haircut..."

Wait just a minute here. Who is "Moe Stooge?" I don't know who should be more insulted, Moe Howard, all Three Stooges fans or Shoji Tabuchi himself. By the way I talked with someone over the weekend who believes that it is Yo-Yo Ma who has a theatre in Branson.

The AAA writer continues: "If nothing else, you must see this show just to experience the ladies' powder room or gentlemen's lounge; the rich wood paneling, potted palms, chandeliers, beveled glass wall tiles, onyx sinks, fresh orchids and hand-carved mahogany billiard table are all the last word in lavish." Too bad their stage is dark this month.