having a laugh

The last few minutes of a conversation with Ricky Gervais were winding down when I flipped on the radio the other day. I find the British comedian consistently amusing, so I made a mental note to find the rest of the interview online. Gervais and David Bianculli talked about the new HBO series which takes audio from the comic’s BBC podcasts and adds animation designed to resemble the old Hanna-Barbera cartoons. They spent a little time on "The Office" and maybe a tiny bit more time on "Extras." He chose to have his "Extras" character espouse atheism, the same way he does in real life. Obviously, I disagree with his atheistic beliefs but I wasn’t going to let that ruin my day. At the end of the show, Gervais had me laughing again and wanting to see the episode of "The Marriage Ref" featuring him, Madonna and Larry David.

Locally, the Gervais interview was followed by a monthly public affairs show. The topic for March was social media. My favorite part was a phone call from an enthusiastic listener who wanted to know how to use a blog or Facebook to build his lawn mowing business. The panel said he could use a blog to share his landscaping knowledge, thereby making himself known as an expert on the subject.

I have been taking advantage of the free coffee coupons offered on the Facebook page for Pilot Travel Centers. The coupons that expired at the end of February were good at any Pilot location. The new coupons, valid through the end of May, are buy-one-get-one-free coupons for any hot beverage at Pilot Food Mart stores, which are all over East Tennessee. There is a second coupon for a free coffee, but to use it, I have to leave my immediate area and find a Pilot Travel Center. I guess they’re on to me.

48 farthings

More free coffee found its way into my world over the weekend. After I had brewed a pot with a sample packet of Folgers that I had picked up along the way, my wife's brother went out to his car and got the remnants of a bag of Allegro Coffee that he had purchased in Northern Virginia. The blend was labeled "extra darker," which means it's super special, right?



As I scooped the grounds into the filter, he suggested that I sprinkle some cinnamon on top of the coffee before brewing. It tasted good but I didn't have anything with which to compare it. He let me keep what was left in the bag. Tonight I brewed a little more of the Allegro to have with dinner. However, I still didn't experience the pure taste of "extra darker." Because it was Fat Tuesday, it was my last chance before Lent to use a chocolate-covered spoon that my wife had received for Christmas.

None of us noticed it on Sunday morning, but as I look at the photo now, I realize that my jar of Schilling Cinnamon is at least seven years old. My wife thinks we might have bought it in Burbank.

don't lose your head

It's important to back up your words with actions. That's why my wife and I did our part to support the transition of Taylor Swift from singer to actress. We braved the crowds at the Regal West Town Mall 9 to see "Valentine's Day" on Valentine's Day. It turns out that a lot of the people who were there came to watch the Daytona 500 on a theater screen while enjoying pizza and beer.

The movie wasn't as bad as I feared. I had heard that it was basically a two-hour "Love Boat" episode. It finished stronger than it started, which will help generate positive word-of-mouth. The biggest disappointment was the story line involving Julia Roberts. I felt like something got edited out, such as a plausible explanation for her quick trip to Los Angeles. I expected her to at least be on her way to a wedding or funeral. My favorite story threads were those with Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel and yes, Taylor Swift.

When the movie let out, we walked through the mall in search of a kiosk offering free samples of jAVERDE flavored coffee. My friend Lissa has suggested several times that I try it. Of the four I tasted, Shell Shock was the best. The clerk told me that they plan to open a store across from Food City on Middlebrook Pike in a space vacated by Bear Creek Coffee.

What's Valentine's Day without chocolate? Earlier in the day, my wife surprised me with a heart-shaped box of hand-dipped truffles that she bought from Belle's Sweet Boutique. The proprietor, Ann Douglas, is an acquaintance of hers. The candies are truffle-licious.

snow leopard

Abby Ham realized the problem right away. She knew some blog readers will mistakenly assume I have a shoe fetish. However her choice of footwear on a cold, slushy day makes it worth the risk.



Abby and her husband stopped by while I was working at the radio station's booth at the Healthy Living Expo. One of the first things she said was that she had worn the wrong shoes for the weather. I told her about the last three times the shoes of local news anchors had appeared on my blog. She agreed that it would still be funny to add her pumps to my online collection.



Of all the supermarkets in Knoxville, it made sense that Earth Fare would be the one with a booth at the Healthy Living Expo. I tried several of their free samples, including coffee from the Vienna Coffee Company in Maryville and chocolate milk from Cruze Farm in Knoxville.

One of the last things you might expect to see at the Healthy Living Expo would be a group of zombies. However when the familiar notes of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" played over the speakers, the zombies literally crawled out from under the tables. One or two of them grabbed my legs as they crawled to the stage where they did an outstanding job of replicating the dance from the music video.

become a fan

The rebuilt Weigel's on Fox Lonas Road has been open about a month. It's been at least that long since I went in and took pictures on my way home from the roast of Fr. Ragan Schriver. I know from past experience that they offer deep discounts on milk and gasoline during their official grand opening celebrations. As a result, I was excited to hear that this past Wednesday was finally the day.

I had been meaning to stop off at any Weigel's for a few days prior. My wife had filled out an application for their new Rewards Card and I was supposed to drop it off as soon as I found our old paper card, which I had given to my daughter while she was in town and hadn't put back in my wallet right away. The clerk at Weigel's told my wife that the milk purchases represented by the punched-out holes on the paper version would be credited to the fancy new electronic card. Once I buy 16 gallons of milk, the 17th is free.

On my way home from work on Wednesday, I took a slight detour to the new store. I saw a large inflatable Blue Rhino and a vehicle from a competing radio station. I thought that maybe I could get in and get out quickly and quietly. Not so much.

I parked in front of the store and took my Rewards Card application inside. I wanted to turn in the form, buy some skim milk and top off my gas tank. In order to put both purchases on the same credit card transaction, I had to go back outside and pump the gas before buying the milk. My conversation with the sales clerk drew the attention of Kurt Weigel, who kindly remembered me from my remote broadcast at a different store in his chain.

I chatted with Kurt about the two types of ice at the new store and how my wife prefers crushed ice in her Diet Pepsi with a little Diet Coke mixed in. I asked if he would be offering any sort of coffee refill program like his main competitor does. He said it would probably be included on the new Rewards Card in the future. I also dropped a hint that he should put some coupons on Facebook like they do.

Because I was off from work yesterday, the hunt was on for free coffee. With apologies to my new pal Kurt, I did go to Pilot and use the coupons I got from their Facebook page. Three times.

ring out the old

A major component of my voluntary submission to caffeine addiction is the readily available supply of free coffee at work. Rather than use the Styrofoam cups at the office, I chose to bring in my own coffee mug from home. I went through a process of choosing the right mug. It had to be one that would not be mistaken for anyone else's and I had to be willing to accept the fact that it would eventually get lost or broken.

The breakage came a little sooner than I expected. On Christmas Eve, my mug slipped out of my hand and broke. As you can see, I had chosen a mug with my name on it that I had received as a gift many years ago.



The broken cup meant I had to go through the selection process all over again. I had amassed surprisingly large collection of mugs during my non-coffee days. The ones that I saved have some degree of sentimental value for me. A cup from the Discovery Channel has an unusual elephant-shaped handle. I kept a souvenir from a listening party for a Bruce Springsteen live album because it reminds me of one of the first "cool" things I got to do in my radio career.



A George Mason University Alumni Association mug would be easy to identify as mine but I wouldn't want to break it. A huge cup from the short-lived Marvel Mania store at Universal City Walk is too big to be practical.



The newest addition to my collection goes nicely with one of the oldest. While enrolled in the FBI Citizens Academy, I got a mug from the Office of Counterintelligence at Oak Ridge National Laboratory. I keep it next to a mug I got from the FBI when I worked in the D.C. area at WAVA.



The mug I ultimately chose is kind of boring. It has a lot of aphorisms on it and I honestly haven't bothered to read any of them. I suppose I should do so before the thousand words break into a thousand pieces.

need to venti

As a coffee novice, I was surprised and a tad disillusioned by what my daughter told me. We were sitting in a booth in the Market Square storefront shared by Knoxivi and The Lunchbox after watching Internet sensation Julia Nunes perform on Eleven o'Clock Rock. You might recall me mentioning her appearance three weeks ago. I borrowed my daughter's camera to grab a picture while Julia was singing.



My daughter bought herself a coffee, which came with one of those cardboard wraparounds that had the Seattle's Best Coffee logo on it. While it's old news to most people, I had no idea that Seattle's Best is owned by Starbucks. It seemed weird to me that Starbucks didn't change their subsidiary's name to "Seattle's Second Best Coffee." When my wife and son asked why I looked so confused, I said it was like finding out that Coke owned Pepsi or that McDonald's owned Burger King.

So if Seattle's Best is not a competitor of Starbucks, who does truly compete with the coffee giant on a national scale? The best my family and I could come up with was Panera Bread and Dunkin' Donuts. I remember a place in L.A. called The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf but it's not national. My son said there's a place called Kaldi's in Missouri and my daughter mentioned a joint called Caribou Coffee, which has stores in 16 states. Where do you like to get your caffeine?

Meanwhile, my free coffee quest continues. I scored freebies from Starbucks and from Seattle's Best this fall. Tonight I got a coupon for a free cup at Pilot just by becoming their fan on Facebook. Hey Weigel's, couldn't you do the same thing on your page?

monster of the midway

The Christmas gifts from my daughter made me proud of her ingenuity and thoughtfulness. She gave me a stack of books she knew I would like and paid nothing for them by using PaperBackSwap. When she heard that I had seen a simply wrapped package arrive in the mail last week from a PBS member in Saucier, Mississippi, she sent me the following email:

So, I was just going through your blog, your Facebook, your Twitter and your Amazon wish list. Even if I had never met you in person, I would know a lot about you and your personal tastes. If you love someone and actually take an interest in their life, wouldn't you be willing to take 5 minutes on the Internet to find a simple and cheap gift that they would love?

I know that you were good and did not open the gift that arrived for you, but you will be proud to know that I paid $0 for it. That's right, I paid nothing for the gift, I paid nothing for the shipping and I only had to research for about 5 minutes to figure out that you would enjoy it.

The books from PaperBackSwap turned out the be "Give Me a Break" by John Stossel and "The Last Days of Dead Celebrities" by Mitchell Fink. I had put them on my Amazon wish list when they were new but never got around to buying them.

The book pile grew even higher because my daughter gave me her own gently used copy of "The Devil in the White City" by Erik Larson. She had mentioned it to me when we visited a bookstore together on Labor Day. My wife also recalled my curiosity about H.H. Holmes that day and gave me a copy of "Human Monsters" by David Everitt, which is billed as an "encyclopedia of the world's most vicious murderers."

In addition to all the free books, my daughter gave me a 2½ ounce bag of Starbucks House Blend. A non-coffee-drinking friend of hers had received it in a gift basket at work. It's a re-gift I look forward to opening and brewing the next time I have a day off from work, so probably Friday during the Tournament of Roses Parade.

bake and wake

The annual cookie-baking party thrown by some friends of ours has become a holiday tradition for my wife and me. The host couple provides food and drink and the ingredients for several types of treats. They also had the SEC Championship game on their big TV. The guests each bring whatever is necessary for their specialty. This year, my wife and I made Oreo Truffles, which are well-known to longtime readers of my blog.

During the party, I posted a few bon mots and pictures on Twitter from my cell phone. When I got home, I was frustrated to find that my favorite comment never showed up on the Internet, yet it resides in my phone's "sent items" list. Here it is, because I still think it's funny:

Overheard at the cookie party: "I never heard of this Lady Gaga until this morning on NPR."

For the past several years, my wife has hoped to get the recipe for cappuccino cookies from our hostess. She would get busy or we would get distracted and leave without the recipe. We knew that instant coffee was involved but never had enough information to find an exact match online. There are enough similarly-named recipes out there to really confuse the issue. That changes today, as my wife found the recipe card at the party and transcribed it into the little notepad I carry. I had no idea that the dough had to chill for six hours before baking.

Ingredients

2 squares unsweetened chocolate
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon salt
½ cup shortening
½ cup butter
½ cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon instant coffee
1 teaspoon water
1 egg
1½ cups semi-sweet chocolate
3 tablespoons shortening

• In a heavy saucepan, heat and stir unsweetened chocolate until melted. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.
• Meanwhile, stir flour, cinnamon and salt together.
• In a large bowl, beat ½ cup of shortening and butter until butter softens. Add brown sugar and beat until fluffy.
• Stir coffee into water until dissolved. Add coffee, melted chocolate and egg to butter mixture and beat well.
• Add flour mixture and beat until well mixed. Cover and chill for one hour.
• Shape into 7 inch rolls, wrap in waxed paper and chill for 6 hours.
• Cut into ¼ inch slices. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.
• Bake at 350° for 10 to 12 minutes or until edges are firm. Remove and cool
• In a heavy saucepan, heat chocolate and 3 tablespoons of shortening. When melted, dip half of each cookie into chocolate. Place on waxed paper and cool until chocolate sets.

one word or two?

Throughout November, my friend Bean's Twitter feed has been sprinkled with occasional references to egg nog and pumpkin pie. I have been encouraging him by posting Twitpics of Flav-O-Rich pumpkin pie spice egg nog as well as egg nog taffy samples and pumpkin nut fudge at Dollywood. I've been an egg nog fan for years.


When Chef Walter made an egg nog cake on the noon news today, I was inspired to list as many current egg nog flavored menu items as I could find. Bean already mentioned that he was psyched about Holiday Hotcakes at IHOP. A reviewer at LAist disagrees. Bean's reference to a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks prompted me to try a combination egg nog and pumpkin spice latte after my wife's recent concert.

Baskin-Robbins has sold egg nog ice cream each year for as long as I can remember. I saw a sign for an Egg Nog MilkQuake at Krystal while on the way to Dollywood on Saturday. If there was a Jack in the Box near here, I might have seen a sign for their Egg Nog Ice Cream Shakes.

Can you add to the list? Use the comments section to tell me what you think of egg nog treats and where I can find them.

help myself in a royal way

Like us, Maestro Brian Salesky was stocking up for Thanksgiving and enjoying the many free samples at Sam's Club when my wife and I bumped into him on Saturday. I was even able to get some Dunkin' Donuts coffee at the Holiday Taste of Sam's Club event. A lady offering tastes of a dried fruit and dark chocolate-covered almond mixture called Bar Harbor Blend shamed me into buying a bag when she caught me coming back for seconds. It reminded me of some very expensive trail mix I had in October.

The Maestro was still very excited that David Keith will play the Pirate King when the Knoxville Opera stages "The Pirates of Penzance" on March 12 and 14. They have already started rehearsals with Keith working on pronouncing every trailing consonant as he sings.

My father was a big fan of Gilbert & Sullivan. I remember him listening to records of D'Oyly Carte Opera Company when he wasn't listening to "regular" opera or Gregorian chants. I think I will try to score some tickets for the Tennessee Theatre in Dad's memory.

with my little eye

People outside East Tennessee are often surprised when I tell them about the nationally known companies that are headquartered here. One such company held a corporate retreat today. They hired an Atlanta-based group called Laughing Matters to come in and run a two-hour team-building exercise. I got involved via an interesting email that arrived the other day:

Hi Frank, I have an uncle in Atlanta who is an improv comic. He is looking for several improv comics here in Knoxville because he is planning some sort of event. I thought I would pass your contact information along to him if you think you and some of your fellow comedians would be interested.

Laughing Matters performed at the Morning Show Bootcamp convention I attended in 2003, so I was somewhat familiar with what they do. I directed the emailer to the right page on the Einstein Simplified website. As it turned out, I was the only member of the troupe who was available for the gig. The other four slots went to local actors who perform in Oak Ridge and elsewhere.

Our job was to execute a very organized program called "School for Spies." After some improv warm-up games, the other facilitators and I each manned a different station. The six teams of co-workers had fun tasks to perform using children's toys such as Mr. Potato Head, Nerf pistols and a Twister board. They also had to solve some logic puzzles, word searches and other problems.

The event was held at the Capitol Theatre in Maryville, a fine venue with a neat little coffee shop. I was able to ogle their impressive dessert case and taste their coffee before exercises began. I'm interested in going back on my own time for a dance or a show.

caffeine quest

Every once in a while, one of those "every day for a year" blogs gets some publicity. I've seen articles about travel blogs and food blogs along those lines. Perhaps the most famous would be "The Julie/Julia Project" which became a book and a movie.

Earlier today I had the idea to do a "how I got free coffee for a year" blog but talked myself out of it. After all, six days a week I would only write: "Brewed a pot of delicious Javarama at work." Most people who work in offices have access to coffee paid for by their employer.

The short-lived inspiration struck me while I was redeeming a coupon at Starbucks. The coupons I received during the Via taste test will expire on November 16. I also used a Starbucks coupon on Thursday night before seeing the Body Farm slide show at the FBI Citizens Academy. I didn't want to be drowsy for that.

I saw a sign offering free coffee at Food City with the purchase of a breakfast at their deli counter. I could afford the $1.99 for the food but not all the calories of the biscuit, gravy, sausage and eggs. I skipped that deal and went to the aforementioned Starbucks after buying my groceries.

Later this month, my wife and I are going to a party in Gatlinburg. The party hosts have arranged for a group rate at one of the nearby hotels so that nobody has to drive home. I'm assuming that not every couple has a designated driver like my wife usually does. I called the hotel today to ask about coffee and other amenities. They don't serve it in the lobby however they do have coffee makers in the rooms, so I'm covered that day. I hope it tastes better than the swill I got at a hotel in Norfolk.

bean counter

The more you pay for a hotel room, the less you get. After my vasovagal syncope, we stayed in a Holiday Inn Express. We had free WiFi and a big free breakfast the next morning that included custom-made omelets.

Last weekend, we stayed in a regular Holiday Inn in Charlottesville that cost more than an Express. We still had free WiFi but breakfast was only available in the full-service restaurant. If I hadn't made coffee in the room, I could have taken advantage of free coffee in the hotel lobby.

The next night we stayed in a nice Marriott in downtown Norfolk. The hotel charged $9.95 per day for Internet access, the restaurant in the lobby was a Shula's 347 Grill and the coffee in the lobby was not free, in fact it was Starbucks. I did make a pot of coffee in the room but it didn't taste very good. Still, I brought home the remaining pouches of coffee and had occasion to brew one last Thursday before going to the FBI Citizens Academy. It tasted just as bad as the coffee I made in the hotel room, if not worse.

Although I am not a long time coffee drinker, I think I am discerning enough to know a bad cup when I taste one. The stuff from the Marriott was gross. Since picking up the caffeine habit, I found that I especially like the taste of the Javarama coffee at work, the Kona coffee at Weigel's and the dark roast at Panera Bread.

for no bucks

Operation free coffee was a success this morning. All I had to do was take a cursory taste test of the new Starbucks Via to get a coupon for a free brewed coffee. I was a bit surprised by the small size of the samples. The tiny cups weren't even filled halfway.



It wouldn't have mattered whether or not I was able to figure out which was the instant coffee and which was the fresh brewed. However, the challenge intrigued me and I thought I could solve the mystery. While I waited for the drinks to cool to a palatable temperature, I noticed that one cup had the current Starbucks logo while the other had the retro "fresh roasted coffee" logo. Could the answer be as simple as truth in labeling? Presumably the instant mix wouldn't have qualified as "fresh roasted."

One had a much stronger, more bitter taste than the other. Another customer taking the test couldn't tell any difference but she drank them both piping hot. I thought that Starbucks would probably rig the test so that more people prefer the new Via. I could imagine the more pleasant tasting coffee being approved by management after years of development, testing and focus groups. I thought I remembered a press release from a few years back announcing the introduction of Pike Place Roast. It was a throwback to the early days of Starbucks. It made sense to me that their original product would have a more distinct taste. The barista told me I was right. The better-tasting coffee in the green-logoed cup was Via. The bitter stuff in the "fresh roasted" cup was Pike Place. The promotion continues tomorrow and Monday and you know I'll be back for more.

coffree

Part of the fun of my new coffee habit is my goal to never pay for it. Obviously the coffee at work is paid for by the company, not me. On Tuesday, I got a free cup at Patrick Sullivan's because I perform there regularly. I could have had a soda instead if I wanted. On Wednesday, Kurt Weigel gave me a cup of Kona coffee.

This weekend my wife and I are traveling to my cousin's wedding in Virginia. Tomorrow morning, for the first time in my life, I will use the coffee maker in a hotel room to brew some Chez Parisien French Roast just because it's available at no extra charge. My wife discovered that I can also go to Starbucks for a free sample of their new instant coffee this weekend. Just for trying Via, I will get a coupon for a cup of their regular Pike Place brewed coffee. If I repeat the process on Sunday, that's two coupons for future use.

book of Janus

Chick-Fil-A showed the world the right way to do a chicken giveaway yesterday. You know who I'm talking about, Colonel. All day on Labor Day, they gave their classic sandwich to anyone wearing a sports team logo.

The employees who served my wife and me were cheerful and courteous even after handing out thousands and thousands of free sandwiches. The guy who brought us our free drink refills at lunch suggested that we come back for a free dinner. We did, while wearing our two-headed Redskins poncho.



Before getting my free chicken, I enjoyed some free coffee. Thanks to Coupon Katie, I printed a coupon for a free cup of Seattle's Best Coffee at Borders. I made a reference to the free coffee in my Twitter and Facebook status updates.

I've mentioned before that I have a Facebook account for listeners and another for people with whom I'm better acquainted. The reaction to my update was very different on the two accounts. The listeners know that I started drinking coffee recently after years of being caffeine-free. They said nothing about the coffee but commented on the serial killer book my daughter showed me at Borders. On the other account, some former co-workers saw nothing unusual about my family's interest in H.H. Holmes but were shocked that I had a cup of coffee.

So for my friend Jessica and others who care, I started down the slippery slope of caffeine addiction last fall while filming "Fish Bait." A company called Coffee Fool made a product placement deal with the filmmakers. During my all-night shoot, I had a cup or two to stay awake.

I sampled the free coffee at work when they switched to a different provider. I found that I really liked the taste of the Javarama Jamaica Blue Mountain Blend served black with Splenda. Working a couple of weeks of split shifts this summer had me appreciating the caffeine lift it gave me. To make sure I didn't get drowsy on my drive home from Nashville last month, I had a frozen coffee drink from Starbucks.

Before long, I decided to avoid the possibility of withdrawal headaches by drinking coffee on normal weekends too. I work a lot of Saturdays, which means I can get free coffee at the station. They serve free coffee after most Masses at All Saints Church, so Sundays are covered. Since yesterday was a holiday, I used the coupon for a free cup at Borders. My goal is to spend next-to-nothing on my new habit, so I'll be constantly on the lookout for discounts and freebies.