Thursday, October 20, 2005

the bag in the photo contains 2982 calories

This past Spring I got deeply involved with Dark Chocolate M&Ms. They were so good I decided to never eat a regular milk chocolate M&M again. But there was a catch. The dark chocolate ones were only available for a limited time as part of a "Star Wars" tie-in.

As the M&Ms started disappearing from store shelves, I went into panic mode. One June night I was on all fours in Walgreens hoping to find a bag of dark
mixed in among the milks on the bottom shelf of the candy aisle. They had no dark left. A few days later I bought all six remaining bags of dark from a CVS. Clearly I had a problem. I confessed my addiction to Marc & Kim on the radio, hoping listeners would call and tell me where they had spotted any remaining bags. I continued hoarding dark chocolate M&Ms, buying them from convenience stores off the beaten track in Morristown throughout July and August.

This past week I received a package in the mail at work. A listener had found one bag of dark chocolate M&Ms at K-Mart. Our radio show had gotten into her head so much that she thought of us in the middle of a weekend shopping excursion. She bought the bag and mailed it to me.
Around it was wrapped a letter that I found amusing.

What Natasha didn't know is that a month ago I decided to deal with my expanding middle. I've always been a little sensitive about being overweight. I started thinking about it seriously when Marc described me on the air as "pear shaped." When the program director approached me about endorsing a weight loss program, I thought to myself "take a hint!" I've lost 10 pounds so far and next week my wife and I will begin doing radio commercials for
L A Weight Loss. (We don't have to pay for the program in exchange for doing the endorsement spots.)

So, what do I do with the M&Ms? Can I save them for when I meet my weight loss goal? Will they still taste good a year from now? Maybe we could gift wrap them and label the package "Do Not Open Until Christmas... 2006."
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Anonymous rich said...

give 'em to me, dammit! Pear shaped don't scare me none!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you eat just one a day?

Anonymous Betsy said...

I hoarded, too! Finished the last of mine off a couple of weeks ago.

Blogger NBG, LLC said...

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