on fire!

David Letterman and Jay Leno get all the attention but the best gig in television may actually belong to Regis Philbin. The hours aren't bad and he gets to work with a great co-host, Kelly Ripa. Philbin was born a year before my father and has been on the air since since before I was born. Like my parents, he is from The Bronx. In fact, he went to the same high school as two of my uncles.

This morning I got to live out a little bit of my Regis fantasy right here in Knoxville. Two months ago when I was a guest on "Eleven O'clock Rock," the producers at Knoxivi told me that co-host Brent Thompson would be taking a few days off when his wife delivered their baby. They offered me the opportunity to fill in as one of their guest co-hosts. I got the call last week that today would be the day.

It was an absolute pleasure to work with Lauren Lazarus, who made things very easy for me. She was willing to go along with my idea for a cold open that referenced couple of yesterday's Super Bowl ads, especially the commercial for Snickers.



The show streams live each weekday at 11:00 a.m. To view today's episode in the archives, go to http://knoxivi.com/eleven/ and click on Monday and then on 02/08/2010. You can also get information about the show on Facebook and Twitter.

The musical guest was Davis Mitchell from the band Dishwater Blonde. He performed some of his solo material, which had a nice Christian feel to it. Mitchell is a music minister at Knoxlife Church, which usually meets at Remedy Coffee in the Old City.

During the show, I got to interview Jeff Joslin, who directed the movie I was in last year. We talked about how Jeff got "Fish Bait" off the ground and how he is writing a sequel. Before the show ended, Jeff texted me and offered up a special link for viewers to buy the DVD and soundtrack for only ten bucks.



Jeff told me that he and his New York-based pals plan to make another spoof music video soon. He recently posted an amusing parody of Jordin Sparks' "No Air" on YouTube. It's about a follically challenged man and it's called (you guessed it) "No Hair."

put down your weapon

On the show "24," Jack Bauer has a reputation for beating confessions out of people. I am unbloodied and unbruised but I have a confession for Mr. Bauer nevertheless. I've been watching your show and enjoying it... from 2009.

As my DVR automatically started recording the new season 8 of "24," I began feeling bad that I hadn't seen season 7. Like many shows, I was saving the episodes to watch together with my wife. Our son viewed the whole season online while at college and raved about how good it was. Last week, after I had gotten caught up on some recent episodes of "Fringe," my wife gave me the go-ahead to watch and delete season 7 of "24" without her.

If I were doing a marathon viewing of "24" on DVD, it would be no big deal. Why does keeping it on a DVR for a year seem weird? Could it be the commercials and promos? In one of the first few episodes, I saw a news tease about the Pope's appointment of Bishop Stika.

I've also seen a lot of promos for the debut of season 8 of "American Idol." They show face after face of contestants headed to Hollywood. I recognized none of them. So far I haven't seen anyone who remotely resembles Adam Lambert or Kris Allen or Danny Gokey or Anoop Desai. It makes me think that the televised audition process is truly a waste of time. They may as well start the show with Hollywood week.

bowled over

That wasn't so bad, was it? Something I have been hoping for since 2006 happened last night. The Pro Bowl filled the football void on the Sunday before the Super Bowl.

I can't be the only one who liked the change. Ratings for the game were way up and I heard on NFL Network that the highest ratings for the game were in football-crazy New Orleans, which had no players on the field. Some people, like WATE's Mark Nagi, objected to the lack of Saints and Colts players in the Pro Bowl. I wonder how many Super Bowl players skipped the Pro Bowl in past years because they were too banged up to play again so soon.

I also wonder if those who didn't like the change were expecting a real football game. The Super Bowl players weren't the only ones missing. The AFC had to go deep into their roster to find a starting quarterback. It didn't matter, the game was fun to watch and AFC quarterback Matt Schaub turned out to be the MVP. Because of the physical nature of the sport, a football all-star game is probably less intense than a baseball all-star game. Well alright, let's say less intense than a basketball all-star game. No matter, the Pro Bowl is glorified two-hand touch anyhow.

As a Redskins fan, I thought I wanted the NFC to win. Yet, I was unhappy when an Eagles quarterback connected with an Eagles receiver for a touchdown. When a Cowboys quarterback was intercepted, ending any hope of an NFC comeback, I was pleasantly amused.

My gripe is that the NFL scheduled the game opposite the Grammy Awards. I would have preferred to watch the Pro Bowl before the Grammys. If I still lived on the West Coast, I guess I could have done so. However tape-delayed award shows are another pet peeve of mine. Some of us equate major award shows with major sporting events. The audiences for the Grammys and the Pro Bowl are not mutually exclusive. The Grammy ratings showed an increase too.

The 2011 Pro Bowl will be played in Hawaii, which probably means another evening start in the Eastern time zone. Let's hope that the higher ratings last night keep the pre-Super Bowl void filled with football. I still like my idea for a Consolation Bowl between the teams that lose the conference championship games. Anyone else?

audio killed the video star

The digital TV transition last year prompted me to put a WiFi clock radio on my Christmas wish list. I wanted a way to listen to news during the 4:00 a.m. hour, which I used to do when WATE's analog signal could be heard on 87.7 FM. I now wake up to WTOP from Washington, DC.

When I have a few extra minutes, I've been scouring through the source codes for two radio stations' websites hoping to find a hidden URL that will work on my Sanyo device. I got 101.5 FM The Music Place to stream successfully but not WINC-FM. I will keep trying because WINC is my station of choice in Northern Virginia.

I have also been adding more stations and podcasts to the subfolders on my radio via Reciva.com. As I was scrolling through the thousands of available choices, I noticed that the TV audio streams from CNN and MSNBC are available.

Because I've heard that WiMAX is in our future and that we will all have Internet radio in our cars someday, I think it would be a good idea for local television stations to offer streaming audio of their newscasts. I could easily fall back into my old habit of listening to WATE. A local gospel station simulcasts WVLT's noon news, which is good if I happen to be in the car during those 25 minutes. WBIR has a cable channel called 10News2 that repeats their most recent newscast until the next one comes along. I think its audio would be ideal for Internet streaming. Who's with me?

heck of a job, brownie

Chef Walter is a favorite of mine. I try to watch his daily cooking segment as often as possible on the noon news. Several of his recipes have even inspired me to write blog posts, most recently the egg nog cake. Because I like him, I'm a little sorry to throw him under the bus for today's segment. However, I think that broadcasters can learn from it. The lesson is how not to interview kids.

Kids can be great interviewees because of their honesty. Google Art Linkletter if you need proof. Because they may not have their BS generators turned on yet, they can't be expected to fill in the blanks. When you ask a child a yes or no question, you'll get a yes or no answer.

Today's recipe looked promising. Who wouldn't want to try brownies with Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies mixed in? An actual Girl Scout stood alongside Chef Walter while he mixed the ingredients. It would have been nice if he had let her stir or at least pour something into the bowl but he did not.

At one point, he almost asked a question that did not require a yes or no answer and then changed it! He said, "Tell me about... I understand there's at least one new cookie this year, is that right?" She said, "Yes." After an awkward pause, Walter asked, "What is that cookie?" The girl replied, "It's the Thank U Berry Munch and it tastes like..." Walter cut her off and said "I just wanted to hear her say it, I knew that already. Say that again, Thank U Berry Munch is that right?"

Chef Walter also failed to answer the number one question on my mind. Would the recipe work with Samoas?

jumping through hoops

The news that Hulu wants to eventually charge a fee for access to some videos is irritating to me. Lately many Internet content providers have balked about putting their stuff online for free. The New York Times is another one. Newspapers are used to selling their daily print editions. I'm a believer in advertiser-supported media which has, for the most part, been successful since 1922.

Companies like Hulu and the Times seem ready to overlook the fact that average Joes like you and me already pay a monthly fee for Internet access in our homes. I have never thought of the Internet as free. Yes, I can occasionally go to the library or to Panera Bread but I can't imagine being without the Internet in my home.

Of course when I'm at home is when I least need Hulu. I have access to On Demand programming and whatever is on my DVRs. However it is still a convenient backup for anything I might have otherwise missed. My son watches most of his TV online while he is at college. Perhaps he represents the audience that Hulu is trying to soak for cash.

In the current flight of endorsement commercials that I am doing for Comcast High Speed Internet, I talk about Fancast Xfinity TV. It gives me access to full-length movies and television shows online. The software can be installed on up to three computers, which means my son can use it at school and I can use it anywhere I can go online with my laptop.

Fancast and ESPN360 are included in my Comcast subscription. I much prefer that economic model to Hulu and other sites trying to nickel and dime me. If they knew anything about me, they would know I won't pay.

alert and aware

FBI Special Agent in Charge Richard Lambert warned of potential terrorist attacks at tonight's Infragard meeting. It was my first time attending a meeting since being invited to join the group upon graduation from the FBI Citizens Academy.

Lambert's presentation included a rundown of increased Al Qaeda activity in the past 12 months, including the attempted Christmas Day attack by the so-called "underwear bomber." The authorities are especially concerned about a terror network based in Yemen and their stronghold on the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan.

The underwear bomber tried to use ingredients from antifreeze and a water filtration system to start a chemical fire in his pants. The fire was supposed to ignite explosives known as TATP and PETN. The flames were doused by concerned citizens on the plane, which was the point of the presentation. Average Americans like you and me have a window of opportunity to help identify the terrorists' research and planning before their next attack.

Special Agent Lambert told us about a terrorist plot in England that was thwarted by employees of a storage depot who grew suspicious of some customers storing a large quantity of fertilizer. Any of us can easily report suspicious activity via a phone call or online. He said all we need to remember is that we can do a Google search for the words "Tennessee suspicious activity," which will bring us to a form on the Tennessee.gov website. Tips can also be phoned in to (877) 250-2333.

Before the serious stuff, we shared a laugh over a video clip from a cable show called "Conspiracy Theory." The host, Jesse Ventura, claimed that Infragard is an organization that spies on regular Americans like him. I immediately recognized the over-the-top voiceover narration by KTTV weatherman Mark Thompson, who is a close friend of my friend Bean.

The "Conspiracy Theory" allegations miss the mark. Infragard is not Big Brother. Instead it is a way to disseminate unclassified information to citizens who take an active interest in crime prevention. In addition to the anti-terrorism talk, we also got a brief update on a local child predator case and "Operation Aurora," the attempted hacking of Google in China.

take a chance

The email from Fox urged me to visit a special website for the show "Human Target." I played along and entered my name, email address and phone number. Before long, a video started playing with my name cleverly inserted in the graphics and on a list of names. When the lead character made a call, my phone rang. It was the voice of Christopher Chance, urging me to open the case.



The case in question had arrived in the mail yesterday. It was one of the nicer promotional items I've seen. The briefcase contained a DVD of tonight's episode, a Christopher Chance ID badge, a copy of "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook," a 1GB flash drive shaped like a bullet and a cigarette lighter. Huh?



The desired effect of the freebies was to get me to watch "Human Target" tonight, which is being recorded on my DVR as I type this. As a TV completist, I wanted to go back in time to see the pilot episode I missed on Sunday. Fortunately it is available online, both at the Fox site and at Fancast.com, which I can work into my next commercial for Comcast High-Speed Internet.

ya hear about this?

All the attention being paid to NBC's mismanagement makes it seem like their late night shows are the only ones that matter. Yes, "The Tonight Show" is a storied franchise and without it, none of the other shows would exist. However, if I were to rank the various talk shows on after 10:00 p.m., NBC's entries would be at the bottom of the list.

Jay Leno has no business returning to 11:35. If NBC wanted him to stay there, they shouldn't have promised the time slot to Conan O'Brien. I do like Conan's statement in which he refused to participate in the destruction of "Tonight" by moving it to "tomorrow." I hope his future success makes NBC regret the way they are treating him now.

The real winners in the latest late night controversy should be Jimmy Kimmel, David Letterman and Craig Ferguson. All three of them do a better show than Leno, O'Brien or Jimmy Fallon.

It's no secret that I would choose to be on "Team Kimmel." His show has had a season pass on my DVR since day one. This afternoon my son and I couldn't stop laughing as we watched Jimmy's show from last night. He did the whole hour made up to look like Jay Leno. It was reminiscent of his appearance as Jay on the reenactment of the Michael Jackson trial.

My favorite part was the way they mocked the lame musical notes that Kevin Eubanks plays after each of the real Leno's jokes. At dinner tonight, my wife said she wished she had seen it. Because I had already deleted the program from the DVR, she will have to watch the whole episode via Fancast.com or she can catch the highlights on YouTube.

let's go to the pearly gates

George Michael was George Michael before the Wham! guy came along. Like the singer, the George Michael I knew had a real last name that wasn't radio-friendly. Because I remember how mad he got when The Washington Post printed it, I will respect his memory and omit it here.

George died today after a two-year battle with leukemia. He was one of the best deejays ever to grace the airwaves, most notably at WFIL. I remember hearing him at WABC when I was in high school. He was also the best local sportscaster I've ever seen. I'm not talking about play-by-play or color commentators, I mean the guys in the trenches squeezing as many highlights as possible into their allotted time on the evening news.

George moved to the Washington area a month or so before I did. For me, he always was the face of sports in the nation's capital. His enthusiasm is also partly responsible for my conversion to being a Redskins fan. My friends who interned at WRC confirmed all reports that George was a tough but fair boss. His off-air perfectionism is what allowed him to seem relaxed on the air.

My first full-time job in broadcasting was at WAVA. Our general manager, Alan Goodman, knew a good thing when he saw it and signed George to provide sports reports three times a week during the morning show. It was my job to call George and tell him that we were ready for his segment. He had a microphone in his house that was connected to our studios via a dedicated phone line.

Once a year, I think around Thanksgiving or Christmas, George would come in and play deejay. We would toss our morning zoo format and play oldies not normally heard on WAVA. And by we, I mean George and me. Unlike most deejays, George did not run his own board. He was major-market all the way and was accustomed to having a board op. I would load up the tunes and wait for George to point at me to hit the button. He had a hand signal for me to turn on his mic and another to start the next record. I'm using the old-school term but I actually played his oldies off CD.

There was one particular song that George insisted on playing every time. He would call me a couple of times in the days leading up to his appearance to make sure that I would have "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone. Excuse me for a moment while I listen to the intro that George loved talking up.

Come and Get Your Love - Redbo...

WRC-TV has posted a retrospective, much of which was also shown when George retired from his nightly duties in 2007. I found several other good links on the @redskinsblog Twitter feed. As you gather with your family this Christmas Eve, take a moment to say a prayer for the repose of the soul of George Michael. Rest in peace sir, rest in peace.

blood relative

Pomegranates have been my favorite fruit since I was a kid. Nowadays, I use them as a salad garnish. Before dinner tonight, I put one in a large bowl of lukewarm water and plunged a paring knife into the stem. As I twisted the knife and cut through the white membrane on the inside, my son started humming a familiar tune. He even activated the mp3 player on his phone to play the theme from "Dexter." I peeled away the skin and accidentally broke an aril or two, which reminded me all the more of the show's outstanding opening sequence.



The show was top of mind for both of us. It's been a favorite of mine since it debuted. When my son got home for Christmas break, he expressed an interest in catching up on the exceptionally good season 4. So far we have watched four episodes in high def via video on demand. I don't usually rewatch shows that I've already seen but with the advantage of hindsight after the shocking season finale, I am interested in looking for clues and subtext.`

one word or two?

Throughout November, my friend Bean's Twitter feed has been sprinkled with occasional references to egg nog and pumpkin pie. I have been encouraging him by posting Twitpics of Flav-O-Rich pumpkin pie spice egg nog as well as egg nog taffy samples and pumpkin nut fudge at Dollywood. I've been an egg nog fan for years.


When Chef Walter made an egg nog cake on the noon news today, I was inspired to list as many current egg nog flavored menu items as I could find. Bean already mentioned that he was psyched about Holiday Hotcakes at IHOP. A reviewer at LAist disagrees. Bean's reference to a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks prompted me to try a combination egg nog and pumpkin spice latte after my wife's recent concert.

Baskin-Robbins has sold egg nog ice cream each year for as long as I can remember. I saw a sign for an Egg Nog MilkQuake at Krystal while on the way to Dollywood on Saturday. If there was a Jack in the Box near here, I might have seen a sign for their Egg Nog Ice Cream Shakes.

Can you add to the list? Use the comments section to tell me what you think of egg nog treats and where I can find them.

okey dokey, lazy bones

As shoppers head to the stores early on Black Friday, I am reminded of a Saturday Night Live sketch. One of Kristen Wiig's more memorable characters is the Target Lady.



I think the character may have inspired the current advertising campaign for the actual store. Listen to this spot and tell me that the woman doesn't sound a lot like her.

acid redux

For several years, I have enjoyed trashing CBS' attempted coverage of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I assume the only reason they bother doing a telecast is so they can sell ads to Macy's competitors. The parade participants don't perform for the CBS cameras like they do for NBC's.

I could only tolerate a few minutes of the CBS broadcast this year. I knew it would be bad when Maggie Rodriguez started off by referring to the new Spider-Man balloon as Superman. Really. Instead of watching the whole thing I did a Google search for "CBS Thanksgiving parade" followed by words like "awful" and "terrible." One of the searches brought me to the comments posted on CBSnews.com. Let me copy and paste a few for posterity in case Les Moonves deletes them.

by ayearwasted: CBS's supposed Macy's Parade coverage is merely celebrity snaps and gab. The token camera shots of the parade are so distant as to appear like an ant farm, and even those token images are blocked by a cheap computer overlay of fall leaves. Clearly CBS has no respect for the thousands of people who created the floats, no respect for those who practiced for years to march and perform, and no respect for we who do appreciate their extraordinary accomplishments. Shame, shame, shame!

by Alliterated: Disappointing coverage of the Macy's parade was highlighted by -not the parade- but a bunch of commercials and dance routines. Disgusting appearance by an alleged comedian, who denigrated his mother and father with references to his father looking like Hugh Hefner. Your rush to catch up with the crudeness of cable is alienating scores of boomers who still control the remotes, the majority of the buying power and so also the commercial dollars.

by tsummer99: We must say that this is the WORST coverage of a Thanksgiving Day parade we have ever seen. In fact, we don't think we are even watching a parade but in fact watching the hosts chat it up and commercials. COMMERCIALS EVERY FEW MINUTES IT SEEMS. We want to see a HOLIDAY PARADE. NOT A PARADE OF COMMERCIALS!!!! We have an exchange student here that we made get up just to watch this. She has since fallen back asleep because this coverage is so terrible. She was excited to see the marching bands, but has not seen a single one. Every time it looks like a band is coming up, the coverage cuts to commercials. A few balloons, a couple floats and some celebrities does not a parade make. We will never watch this parade again. Thanks for ruining a family holiday tradition CBS.

The fun for me this year came from reading and posting comments on Twitter during NBC's parade telecast. At a few commercial breaks, I flipped over to CBS in case I saw something silly.

As you would expect, the new balloons looked less wrinkled than the older ones. I thought it was an odd choice to put the new Mickey Mouse balloon on an inflatable boat anchor. My wife noticed that Poppin' Fresh had a blank blue circle on his toque instead of the Pillsbury logo.

Unfortunately for smart-alecks like me, there were no train-wreck moments in this year's line of march. Singers like Carly Simon and Cheyenne Jackson were barely memorable. Of the lot, I found Jimmy Fallon to be the most entertaining.

When I was a kid, my father took us into the city to see the parade in person each year. After we got home and had dinner, we would look at slides of the parade from previous years. Nowadays, I can read my blog posts from 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008.

Ober reaction

Comedian Ken Ober, best known as host of "Remote Control," was found dead Sunday. I had the good fortune of knowing Ken when he worked at the Comedy World Radio Network.



In the mid '90s, Ken co-hosted a show on KLSX with Susan Olsen. A few years later, they both worked at Comedy World although on different shows. While most of the programs needed time to find their legs, "The Ken Ober Radio Hour" sounded good from day one. He surrounded himself with funny people like Lou DiMaggio and Charles Zucker.

When news of Ken's passing first started popping up on the Internet, some debunked it as a hoax. Sadly it turned out to be true. My friend Susan was distressed by the conflicting reports. After the death was confirmed she wrote several things on Facebook, including: "Most agree it seems Ken Ober was in a good place in his life before passing. There's some consolation in that. He was a great guy to work with, I'm so glad I saw him recently." A little later she posted: "Well maybe Kenny is having a cocktail with Ed McMahon and busting his chops for introducing him on Star Search as 'Can Opener.'"

On the day of the O.J. Simpson verdict, Susan brought a camera to work. She put together a 9½ minute video of what went on in the KLSX studios and hallways. Like most of us, Ken's reaction was pure outrage. His language on the tape is definitely NSFW. In our current times, it is amazing to see that so many people once worked at a single radio station. You might recognize the Regular Guys, Kato Kaelin and Mother Love.

There are many comments on the web about how Ken was as nice as he was talented. I can tell you from first hand experience that it was a genuine pleasure to be around him.

bass boat

One of the most frequent requests in my email on a regular basis is "please let me know when Dr. Bill Bass will make a public appearance near me." The founder of the Body Farm and co-author of several best-selling mystery novels is arguably the most famous person in Knoxville.

A team of enthusiastic volunteers organizes the crowd whenever Dr. Bass has a book-signing event. They even have their own website at BoneZones.com. The group is helping to raise $900,000 for the construction of the Dr. William M. Bass III Forensic Anthropology Building with an upcoming event.

For $46.95 plus tax, you can cruise past the Body Farm on the Volunteer Princess with Dr. Bass on Monday, December 7 at 6:00 p.m. He will speak about his career and answer questions from the audience. The admission price includes a boxed dinner. True fans will show that they can eat while watching the decomposition slide show. If you bring cash or a check to buy a book, you can get it signed while on board. You can bring the Jefferson Bass books you already own and get them signed too.

In other Jefferson Bass news, Susan from BoneZones.com tells me that the next novel, "The Bone Thief" will be released on March 23, 2010. Their site has the first image of the book's cover that I've seen. I asked Susan if I could submit a photo of my own for inclusion on BoneZones.com.



British comedian Stephen Fry visited the Body Farm while filming an episode of a series for the BBC. He appeared on the "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" to promote his book about his exploration of the U.S.A. and talked about the Body Farm. Newscoma.com posted the funny clip yesterday, which is how I found out about it.

shiver me timbers

"60 Minutes" had an interesting story on movie piracy on Sunday night. The report shows how the bad guys sneak video cameras into movie theatres, often hiding them in strollers or diaper bags and using their families to help avoid suspicion. Even here in Knoxville, a security team at advance promotional screenings prohibits audience members from bringing cell phones with cameras into the theatre.

The video pirates sit in the back row where their cameras pick up crowd noises and the silhouettes of people in front. Leslie Stahl asked why anyone would buy a DVD with such poor quality. An expert responded that buyers are not quality-conscious and that they want to pay very little for their entertainment.



In addition to bad DVDs, the pirates are distributing movies online via BitTorrent. The Internet file-sharing brings to mind the problems the music industry faced when Napster first came on the scene. Back then, they would overcharge consumers for albums on CD when the fans actually wanted singles. iTunes came along and dropped the price of a hit song to 99¢ and people gladly paid.

For a time, the movie studios got it right. While a music CD had filler songs we didn't want, DVDs were packed with fancy extras that added value. Plus, the price of a cool DVD was about the same as the price of a lame CD. Now they are trying to get us to buy the same movies we already have in a new, Blu-ray Disc format. They also jerk us around by adding or changing the extra features and releasing new "collector's editions" or "director's cuts."

I suspect that the studios and theatres will use piracy as an excuse to raise ticket prices yet again. What would happen if the studios dropped the price of admission to be the same or less than the cost of a pirated DVD? It would put the pirates out of business and have movie fans lined up at the multiplex.

belly of a whiskered beast

The recent death of Vic Mizzy had many TV critics reminiscing about the good old days of TV theme songs. I saw one website with a list of the best current themes, which included some of my favorites, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "The Office" and "Dexter."

At the screenings of the no-budget horror film "Fish Bait" over the weekend, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a theme song over the closing credits. Jeffrey Joslin, son of director Jeff Joslin, is a singer-songwriter based in Murfreesboro. Jeffrey appears in the film, entertaining at a party scene. For the end credits, he composed a song called "Fish Bait" that mentions the fictional Fear Hollow Marina and the big catfish my character hopes to catch.

maid of the misty eyes

Last night's episode of "The Office" got me choked up for the first time since the movie "Up." Like most viewers, I have become invested in the relationship between Pam and Jim. It was emotionally fulfilling when they found a way to steal back some privacy and romance from their annoying co-workers.

The suspense built as we waited for Michael Scott to be the first to put his foot in his mouth. They caught us off guard when it was Jim who did it instead. Of course Michael proceeded to ram it in up to the knee. Almost every episode makes me think of the quote that Steve Carell paraphrased from Ricky Gervais, "if you don't know a Michael Scott, you are a Michael Scott."

Entertainment Weekly reported that the rehearsal dinner scene was filmed at the Smokehouse in Burbank. My family and I went there with friends for a few celebratory dinners after various events with our kids at St. Finbar School. I also had a few business lunches there with radio executives from Emmis Communications and a nice dinner there with Billy Bush when he was first thinking about moving to Los Angeles.

I recognized the exterior of the hotel from my trip to Niagara Falls in 2007. In fact, I took a picture of the Red Coach Inn because it had the same name as a restaurant my parents used to take us to in Yonkers. It's right next to a totem-like building that could be partially seen on last night's show.

champing at the bit

"Seinfeld" fans like me are ecstatic about the cast appearing on "Curb Your Enthusiasm." In the show, Larry David suddenly changes his mind about a reunion show when he thinks it will get him back together with his estranged wife Cheryl. Some of the best moments occur when Jason Alexander describes the character of George to Larry. For the uninitiated, George Costanza was based on Larry David. The HBO website has plenty to read and watch about the episodes.



I have been in a "Seinfeld" state of mind lately after seeing some episodes on TV. In the years since the series ended, I have generally avoided watching the syndicated reruns. My DVRs are always full of first-run shows to watch instead. I also keep flipping when I see a "Seinfeld" rerun on local television because the picture quality is poor. When I came across an episode on TBS recently, my remote-pushing thumb stopped dead in its tracks. The picture looked like real HD, not the stretched out garbage that I've seen on other TBS shows before. I think they zoomed in and cropped the edges but it looked a lot better than the few minutes I've seen of "Sex and the City" or "yes, dear" on the same network.

Goren piece

A big fan of Vincent D'Onofrio is making an heroic attempt to keep him on "Law & Order Criminal Intent." Her exhaustive attempt to reach all corners of the Internet has even brought her as far as contacting Frank Murphy Dot Com. Why? Because I love Marshmallow Fluff.

My name is Nantz and I wanted to make you aware of a massive writing campaign that the fans of LOCI have been involved with. We have been sending postcards, emails, snail mail, tweets and posting everywhere we can to get our message out there of our displeasure at the dumping of Vincent D'Onofrio, Katie Erbe and Eric Bogosian. In answer to USA Network's trending towards "lighter fare" and "fluff" I have come up with the idea to send jars and jars of "Fluff" (that's the marshmallow crème) to the execs to let them know they can "stuff their fluff." As soon as the season premiere airs and all the aforementioned actors are gone, so are we, and long with us the ratings will go too. Not such good news for a cable network that is currently #1 and the reason they have such high ratings is because of shows like LOCI in the first place. Our voices have been heard as we have been highlighted in Examiner.com twice now. Soon cases of Fluff, cotton balls, Polyfill will arrive and right now they are being inundated with thousands of letters and postcards. WE control the numbers and if it's all about the almighty dollar in cutting these actors because of their salaries then they will find out what exactly numbers really mean.

Nantz is using her blog dedicated to D'Onofrio to spread the word about saving her favorite characters. The blog links to a Twitter account called saveGorenEames. They are hoping other Twitter users will copy and paste their "tweets."

I am curious to learn more about a site called On Location Vacations. They are encouraging "Law & Order" fans to bring Marshmallow Fluff to the set in New York on October 16. I'm interested in checking the site before I take my sightseeing trips next year just in case somebody happens to be filming in Iowa or South Dakota. It will be especially helpful when I can get around to visiting L.A. again.

protect and defend

Instead of watching fake FBI agents on "Bones" and "Fringe," I will be spending my Thursday nights through November 12th enrolled in the FBI Citizens Academy. Each of the Bureau's 56 field offices offer the class. I was nominated by Public Affairs Specialist Stacie Bohanan of the Knoxville Division. I must have passed the background check because they let me attend tonight's meeting, which was led by Special Agent in Charge Richard Lambert. Agent Lambert began his presentation by showing a video clip from his favorite TV show.



The first session focused on the history and mission of the FBI. We also tried to learn the names of our 29 classmates. I already knew Hana Kim of WATE-TV and was re-introduced to Capt. D.J. Corcoran, spokesman for the Knoxville Fire Department. D.J. came to my house several years ago when he was working as a cameraman on the DIY show "Ed the Plumber."

In future weeks we will learn about criminal law and polygraphy, international and domestic terrorism, identity theft and Internet crimes, civil rights violations and white collar crimes. One night we will take a field trip to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. Another night we will meet at a hotel to study staged crime scenes and to see a slide show from Dr. Murray Marks of the world famous Body Farm. One Saturday in October we will learn about deadly force scenarios and go to the firing range to take target practice. The final session of the class deals with crisis management and disaster scenarios. Before then I need to figure out what they mean by a "command post hot wash."

griddle me this

Each year Entertainment Weekly publishes a chart of which primetime TV shows to watch live and which to record on your DVR. It operates under the assumption that you can watch TV for three hours per night for a total of 21 hours per week. Their tastes are only a partial match with mine with 8½ hours of overlap. I decided to make my own grid. I was surprised that my total added up to only 16 hours per week. Well, 16½ if you count "Entourage," which ends its season in two weeks. Of course there will be an occasional special or primetime football game that will cause some reconfiguring.

Sunday
The Amazing Race
Dexter
Curb Your Enthusiasm

Monday
Dancing With the Stars
How I Met Your Mother
The Big Bang Theory

Tuesday
Dancing With the Stars

Wednesday
Hank
The Middle
Modern Family
Cougar Town
Glee

Thursday
Survivor
CSI
The Mentalist
Bones
Fringe
Community
The Office
30 Rock

After all the positive press, I am willing to give "Big Bang Theory" another try. I didn't like it when it debuted two years ago.

I have listed some new shows that I am going to sample. If I don't like "Hank," for example, it will get dropped quickly from my list. "Hank" gets a tryout because of its placement in the new ABC Wednesday comedy block despite its early reviews. I hope that "Better Off Ted" joins that lineup when something gets canceled.

"Community" is still on the bubble with me. The first episode was just okay. I hope that the arrival of Ken Jeong in episode two will be an improvement.

I am undecided about whether or not to sample "FlashForward."

As in years past, there is nothing on the Friday or Saturday primetime schedule that interests me. I'll take that opportunity to watch the stuff I recorded throughout the week, especially on Thursdays.

virtual reality

Most people in Knoxville probably planned on staying inside today and watching the Tennessee at Florida game on CBS. A few people might switch over to NBC to see if former Knoxville Catholic star Harrison Smith makes some tackles for the Fighting Irish as they take on Webb Michigan State. My wife occasionally flipped over to ABC to see if the Nebraska band got any screen time while at Virginia Tech. A college classmate of hers directs the Marching Red.

Yesterday, I was told I had tested positive for flu. I feel like I only have a cold and fortunately haven't had a fever. That could be thanks to the Tamiflu or the Mucinex D or the ibuprofen I've been taking. The physician's assistant in training told me to get plenty of rest and fluids. As a result, I didn't go to any of the many things happening today.

Although I wouldn't have danced myself, I would have tried to watch some of the Rocky Top Dance Challenge at the downtown Marriott. I also had thought about dropping in on the Hola Festival at Market Square or maybe even Greekfest at St. George Greek Orthodox Church. While sitting on my couch, I can revisit the events via my blog posts mentioning the Hola Festival in 2006 and Greekfest in 2005.

My illness has also caused me to cancel dinner plans for tomorrow night. My wife and I were invited to a friend's house. It's a shame because he's an excellent cook. It was again our responsibility to bring dessert and I had decided to try a slight variation of a recipe that intrigued me over a year ago. When we reschedule, I will finally get to taste some brownies with a swirl of Roasted Raspberry Chipotle Sauce substituting for the same company's blackberry sauce.

toot toot yeah retweet

The 287 friends, listeners and spammers who decided to follow my feeds on Twitter in the past five weeks may be disappointed with today's blog post. This afternoon a physician's assistant in training told me that I tested positive for flu and that I should rest. While I was waiting to be seen, I read the USA Today and used my fancy new QWERTY phone to post random stuff on Twitter. I know it's a cop out, but the best thing for me to do tonight is recycle those thoughts. I'll give you a few from last night too.

You may notice in one of the items that I have decided to bring back the eighteenth and nineteenth century abbreviation for et cetera. It saves one whole character, which means something when Twitter only allows you 140 of them. That sounds like something Andy Rooney might say if he were on Twitter. There are a few parodies of him, if you're interested.

• I'm thinking about doing a #FollowFriday tomorrow but I'm concerned that you'll say "duh, I already know about all those people."


• Best quote about #theoffice - "If you don't know a @MichaelScott, you are a @MichaelScott."


• Why is #Survivor in black & white? Are they back in Kansas?


• What is wrong with me? How did I forget that Pam is pregnant on #theoffice?


• So there's not another person inside Kevin on #theoffice? That was just gossip? So confusing!


• My wife remembers from last season of #theoffice that Pam couldn't get x-rayed after getting injured playing volleyball. Aha!


• Thanks Dave for the Kanye-licious link! RT @RavinDave Hey Frank, check out http://tinyurl.com/m2rec2 I promise you'll get a kick outta it.


• What the heck.. #FF @celebritydeaths @knoxtweetlunch @FrankStrovel @caswalker @volsHannah @niftykrisha @AllAccess @JohnHudgens @Helen_Keller


• My wife is sick, my boss is sick and I'm starting to get a runny nose, &c. I'm in the doctor's cough-filled waiting room now.


• Hey Robert Bianco at USA Today, you used "churlish" twice on the same page (7D) today. Just so you know.


• This is weird but my favorite part of USA Today is the NFL announcer listings on Fridays. Sam Rosen & Tim Ryan will call the #Redskins game.


• I wonder if Fox Sports broke up the team of Dick Stockton, Moose Johnston & Tony Siragusa because Goose would say, "thanks Moose, Dick..."


• Best #NFL announcing teams? Buck & Aikman; Nantz & Simms; and for nostalgia, Enberg & Fouts. Sorry Al Michaels, you're not on my list.


• Hey @clydetombaugh, may I borrow your copy of Tim McCarver's new CD?


• According to the student physician's assistant, I tested positive for type A flu, like my wife. It is not the fashionable H1N1 strain.

same old, same old

Putting Jay Leno on at 10:00 p.m. solved two problems for NBC. They avoided having Leno go to ABC as Jimmy Kimmel's lead-in and they avoided paying big money for an hour-long drama each weeknight. My wife heard a radio report that almost made it sound like script writers are a thing of the past. A related story said the network was taking a big gamble on Leno.

Leno's new show started slow and then stayed that way. I liked seeing Jerry Seinfeld talk about his upcoming appearances on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" but those same comments could have been and probably will be heard on "Live with Regis & Kelly." The conversation with Kanye West was awkward at best. It's too bad that Kanye's first post-VMA-debacle appearance wasn't with a talented interviewer. Jay will have to book guests I really like to compete with whatever happens to be on my DVR.

I think the Leno show is part of the devolution of network television. The broadcast networks (ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox) will become more and more like the cable networks such as Bravo, USA and ABC Family. There will be more unscripted shows on the big networks but that doesn't necessarily mean the death knell for drama.

My prediction is that the broadcast networks will regularly use their cable channels as a farm system for the big leagues. A show like "Royal Pains" would get a chance to succeed or fail on the USA Network. If it's a hit, it might get promoted to NBC. I remember the half-hearted attempts to show "Monk" on ABC and "Dexter" on CBS. Those were only limited runs. For a popular cable show to survive the transition, it will have to cut ties with its old home.

youngest one in curls

Susan Olsen has co-authored a new book about an oft-overlooked aspect of her "Brady Bunch" years. The skeleton in the Brady closet is "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour." The nine episodes they filmed were, in effect, a spin-off of the "Donny & Marie" show.



"Love to Love You Bradys" is all about the disco-era incarnation of the famous TV family. Susan is making the rounds to publicize the book. She will be on the "Today Show" Monday morning and on "Fox & Friends" Tuesday morning.

Yesterday I recorded an hour long interview with my friend Susan. She and I worked together at the Comedy World Radio Network and have kept in touch ever since. We talked about her Brady siblings, Asperger's Syndrome, kitten rescue, Marshmallow Fluff and more.

You can right click here to download the podcast or click on the play button below to let it stream in your browser. Because I know that not everyone will have time to listen to the full hour, let me tell you exactly where to find the parts that will interest you most.

• 02:02 - the book and the show
• 08:34 - what about Ann B. Davis?
• 10:22 - Fake Jan and Paris Hilton's mother (good stuff)
  
• 16:55 - more about the Variety Hour
• 24:35 - her ex-boyfriend, Pooperman
• 27:06 - Susan's son Michael and Asperger's
  
• 32:19 - what about her Brady siblings?
• 37:49 - why Maureen and Eve aren't close (don't miss this!)
  
• 44:02 - Susan's work with kitten rescues
• 52:12 - our mutual love of Marshmallow Fluff

hey y'all

Elaine Streno, executive director of Second Harvest Food Bank, was impressed by the drawing power of Paula Deen. The Food Network star was in Knoxville today as Smithfield Foods made a meaty donation to feed the hungry. There was a strong turnout from donors and media members who wanted to meet the so-called "doyenne of Southern cooking."



Tearsa Smith from WATE and Beth Haynes from WBIR were on hand to interview Paula. I was fortunate enough to also get a chance to speak with her. I thought about having Paula autograph a stick of butter but decided on something more permanent. I printed a few pictures from my September 2005 blog entry about "Tricked Out Tailgating" and got Paula to sign one for me, one for a co-worker and one for the silent auction at next year's Radiothon.



Paula kept the picture of me with Michael Anthony Groover. In the interview, she said she's missing him while he rides his motorcycle in Washington.

sacré veinard

"Who is Gilles Marini?" asked one of my Facebook friends when I posted that I was going to interview him. I assumed everyone knew the debonair Frenchman from "Dancing with the Stars."



He may have lost to Shawn Johnson but his career has definitely benefited from the exposure. He is soon to be seen on "Brothers & Sisters." Thanks to his good looks, he was asked by record producers if he could sing and is now working on recording an album. I was interested in his childhood because I read that he practically grew up in a bakery. Mmm... cake.

Anyhow, I played some highlights of my interview with Gilles on the air this morning. The Internet gives me the opportunity to post the entire 8 minute interview for all the Gilles fanatics out there. The best part is probably when he says he learned English from listening to hip-hop music. Really.



After I put down the Zoom H2 Handy Recorder, I asked Gilles to show me some moves I could take to the dance floor.

down by the schoolyard

It was a Julie, Julie and Julia weekend for my wife and me. On Saturday night we laughed a lot at the very funny Julie Scoggins. She performed at Side Splitters Comedy Club. It would be well worth your time to see her show the next time she's in town.

On Sunday, we saw the terrific new movie "Julie & Julia." I really enjoy watching Amy Adams in just about anything. One of my family's favorite films is her first, "Drop Dead Gorgeous." The real Julie Powell's blog is still online. If you had the time, you could go back to the beginning and read the whole thing.

Once again, it was loads of fun to hear Meryl Streep's voice. Certain syllables rang especially true. The only thing missing for me was the John Morris theme song I remember from later episodes of "The French Chef." The theme music used in the movie was the same as in a black and white 1964 episode that PBS has posted online. They had time for Dan Aykroyd's memorable "Saturday Night Live" parody but not the music I wanted to hear.

Julia Child came to KLOS once. Around that time, we had a string of food experts on as guests on the Mark & Brian show and I was looking for ways to set their segments apart. When Debbi Fields came in, I had her book publicist send along a food stylist who set up little Pyrex dishes with various ingredients. While she was being interviewed, Mrs. Fields mixed together a batch of cookie dough. Emeril Lagasse was also promoting a book. I arranged with a nearby IHOP for all of us to show up and have Emeril surprise some patrons. He added some "Bam" to their breakfasts while broadcasting live.

Before Julia Child's visit, I thought about what would be the most intimidating thing when meeting a famous chef. She would be promoting a new "Baking with Julia" cookbook. I challenged Mark and Brian to each choose a page at random. They had to prepare the dishes at home and serve them to Julia the next morning. Either the food tasted good or Julia played along. She was nothing but gracious to us all.

punt, pass & cake

Maybe Google Maps was in a playful mood the other day. All I wanted were the directions to Comcast's office on Asheville Highway. Google said I should take I-640. I wanted to see if it would be faster to go through downtown on I-40. I dragged the blue line from 640 to 40 but Google had me getting off the Interstate and taking surface streets. I dragged it back and Google reacted with yet another detour. It took me a moment to realize that the almighty Google doesn't know that SmartFIX40 has been completed since June 12th.



I had been invited to a press conference on the day that additions to Comcast's sports line up were activated. They now carry ESPNU on channel 735. Their high speed Internet customers now get access to ESPN360.com at no additional charge. Locally, Comcast will televise seven high school football games. The last game of the season will be chosen by viewers' votes at www.comcastfanchoice.com. If you don't have a dog in that fight, do me a favor and vote for Bearden at Catholic once the season starts.

The food at the press conference was themed like a tailgate party. They had mini corn dogs, chips, dip, sandwiches and a cake. The cake was actually two cakes. A football made of pound cake sat atop a field made of sheet cake. I wonder if they got the idea to use pound cake from watching "Cake Boss."

batdisc drop

An email from my friend Bean boasted about the guests they interviewed on KROQ last week. On consecutive days they had Rhys Darby, Weird Al Yankovic and Adam West.

During the interview, which is available on Friday's Kevin & Bean podcast, Adam says that he has a newly redesigned website and is now on Twitter. Adam was calling from Comic-Con, where he debuted his new DVD.

In "Adam West Naked," the actor talks about each of the 120 episodes of my favorite television show, "Batman." If the classic program were legally available on DVD, this could be the commentary track. The disc was exclusively for sale at Comic-Con. It will soon be available at the store on AdamWest.com, which, by the way, would be a perfect place for my relatives to do their Christmas shopping this year.



The same day that TV's Batman was on KROQ, I had a bat-encounter of my own. Check out the most recent little critter that I saved from drowning in my pool. He doesn't look that great in these pictures but he eventually dried off and flew away.

lunar love good

Today is the 40th anniversary of one of the greatest days in American history. Thank goodness things didn't go horribly wrong. Some foolish doubters still think incorrectly that it was faked.

Three years ago, I wrote about my memories of the Apollo 11 landing and linked to NASA's 30th anniversary website, which was the most current at the time. They now have a great new 40th anniversary site.

We Choose the Moon is a site that is streaming the Apollo 11 mission in real time. My family and I will be gathered around the computer screen at 4:17 p.m. for the landing and 10:56 p.m. for Neil Armstrong's first step.

Several other sites are also worth a look. The Smithsonian Institution has terrific photos and more. The Lunar and Planetary Institute is impressive too. I will be spending more time on the Popular Mechanics pages. What I've read so far of the "Untold Story" is fascinating. Boston.com has 40 photographs in their Big Picture feature.

I didn't realize until yesterday that Mary Jo Kopechne was killed while Apollo 11 was en route to the moon. My wife and I learned that fact as we watched most of "Teddy: In His Own Words" on HBO.

the way it was

Walter Cronkite defined the role of anchorman. The iconic newsman died tonight at 92. When I see clips of his career on TV or the Internet, I wish that my parents had watched him more often. They were partial to John Chancellor on NBC and the Huntley-Brinkley Report before that.

Cronkite will always be most associated with his coverage of President Kennedy's assassination and of Apollo 11. As the 40th anniversary of the historic lunar landing approaches, I've been thinking about that night. We were on vacation and the only channel we could get happened to be an ABC affiliate.

I got Walter Cronkite's autograph twice. One year, my father took us to the Robert F. Kennedy Pro-Celebrity Tennis Tournament at Forest Hills. I asked several famous people to sign a program. Somebody else, who got more signatures than I did, is selling a signed program for $3,500.

When I was in college at GMU, a friend and I waited in line at a record store in Georgetown to get Cronkite's signature on a vinyl album set he had released. I remember that he advised my friend to major in something other than journalism if she wanted to be a journalist. Many network correspondents have law degrees or other areas of expertise.

CBS will air a tribute to Cronkite on Sunday at 7:00 p.m. I'll be setting my DVR to record it, how about you?

citiots and faddicts

When she saw that I would be on Long Island for a day, my friend Jessica told me to be on the lookout for the guys from "Royal Pains," a new series on USA Network about a so-called concierge doctor in the Hamptons. I had to admit that I had never seen the show. Jessica has good taste in TV, so I made a mental note to try it. I didn't have to wait long.

After we ate the lobsters we had purchased in Newport the day before, we looked for something to watch on TV. I got the idea to see if Cablevision had as good an on-demand menu as Comcast does back home. Sure enough, the first several episodes were available. We watched the 88-minute pilot and the 44-minute second episode. On-demand shows have limited commercials. Now that I'm home, I have watched the third episode via on-demand and set up my DVR to catch the new episodes. Yes, I like the show and I'm hooked.

How do the locals feel about the way "Royal Pains" portrays them? According to Dan's Papers, the president of Southampton Hospital doesn't like the way the fictional hosptial on the show is called a "taco stand" and "the local cemetery."

Before our evening visiting with my sister, eating lobster and watching TV, my family and I walked around Southampton and Sag Harbor. On the way out of a favorite pizza place, my wife saw some almond cookies and thought they looked like they were covered with maggots. I thought they would be great for a party at the Body Farm.



Are you interested in buying a house in the Hamptons? At The Morley Agency, $3.95 million will get you a place on a "most coveted lane."



A few doors down at the Hampton Road Gallery, there was a photo in the window of some guy wearing a Tennessee shirt. Is he a famous artist that I don’t recognize?



My friend Bean could see this either bad news or good news. Is it a sign that the USPS is in trouble or is it the perfect way for Bean to spend his next vacation? The Southampton Post Office is for rent.

mr. everybody

Shows like "America's Got Talent" and "Last Comic Standing" provide a showcase for two art forms that were more popular when I was a kid than they are today. Ventriloquists and impressionists also each got a tongue-in-cheek tribute week on the "Late Show with David Letterman."

Impressionist Fred Travalena died on Sunday. He appeared on Letterman's show a few years back. While on the surface he appeared to be one of those cheesy "luv ya babe, I mean it" celebrities, his actions proved he was a genuinely good guy. I always enjoyed seeing him when he would stop by WAVA to plug a gig in D.C. He was a gracious guest who managed to not step on the toes of co-host Mike O'Meara, who is a talented impressionist himself. Fred even came by the station when he had a private gig that didn't need any radio promotion.

At some point yesterday, they removed the "upcoming appearances" from Fred's website. It had previously listed gigs on July 31 at the Hoover Auditorium in Ohio, an Alaskan Cruise in September and a concert at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Florida on December 14.

I got the feeling that Fred would have liked to be in the Rat Pack but he was about 25 years too young. Instead he did impressions of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. among others. A lot of Fred's other impressions were of his elders, like George Burns and Groucho Marx.

The sad news about Fred's passing was announced by his long-time publicist, Roger Neal. Roger is a good guy too. When I was between jobs, he would have me do some odd jobs around Hollywood for him. I will always appreciate his kindness.

plus eight minus me

The on-screen guide displayed a new reality show that I kind of like. I was about to flip to TLC last Monday night and wait for it to start when I saw that the program was both preceded and followed by Jon & Kate. The last thing I want to see is the Gosselins, even by accident. Fortunately the show I wanted to watch has been available in the On Demand menu that I now get from Comcast. I recently got their cable, phone and Internet services as part of a radio endorsement deal.

"Cake Boss" is far from perfect, however I'm finding that I'm enjoying it more than "Ace of Cakes" on Food Network. Admittedly, I've only recently started watching "Ace of Cakes" but I feel that "Cake Boss" does a better job of explaining how the cakes are actually made. Also, the cakes they show from Carlo's Bakery look more tasty than the sculptures I've seen made by Charm City Cakes. They show Buddy Valastro filling his cakes with delicious chocolate or fresh strawberries. Duff Goldman and his crew of Baltimoreans seem to focus more on researching, designing and building their creations. They also look for inspiration by going on field trips a lot.

The drama on "Cake Boss" appears staged. They recently had a completely implausible episode with a bridezilla who was left alone in the bakery with her lovely cake. She defaced it with various colors of frosting. Despite that, I'm looking forward to getting caught up with last Monday's show because it's about making a zombie cake. Zombies are hot right now. Just ask Jane Austen.

if you look up sidekick in the dictionary...

When Johnny Carson retired, Ed McMahon still had to work. Some of that may have been for the money but much of it was for the love of doing it. With Johnny stepping out of the limelight, Ed had a chance to be the center of attention as host of "Star Search," a show he tirelessly promoted.

Ed's financial problems and health problems inspired me to express my best wishes for him in previous blog entries. Now that he has passed away at age 86, I am again filled with thoughts of the good times he brought to us at KROQ in the '90s.

In those days at KROQ, we had the chance to feature a few entertainers who didn't fit the format. Johnny Cash got some attention from the alternative rock audience when he came by to plug "American Recordings." The lineup for the 1993 Acoustic Christmas concert included Tony Bennett. Six months later, we invited Ed McMahon to the 1994 Weenie Roast concert. We asked Ed to dress in the grunge attire of the day and come onstage to introduce Rollins Band.



Ed had been a morning show guest enough times that we could ask him to do almost anything. I could pick up the phone and call him or his wife Pam to see if he was available. I will always remember walking into Ed's house with a digital tape recorder and having him record the intro to Kevin & Bean's Christmas cassette in his memorabilia-filled study. Another time we needed him dressed in a suit on the beach for a video shoot with Jenny McCarthy. She wore a bikini.



After doing all these favors for us, Ed still felt like doing more. He invited Kevin & Bean to appear on "Star Search" as guest announcers. The show was recorded at Walt Disney World. They flew several of us and our wives to Florida to do the morning radio show before the TV taping later that day. After the show, Ed took us all out to dinner with that week's celebrity judges. My wife and I sat at a table with Martha Quinn and "Weird Al" Yankovic.

My wife and I had the chance to sit at the same table with Ed and Pam at another event. We were all guests at Kevin Ryder's wedding. I think that was the same year that Ed invited us to his birthday party. To this day, I still regret being so sick with flu-like symptoms that I had to stay in bed and miss Ed's party. It was a milestone year for him. As I recall, he had reached the age at which his father died and was thankful to still be around. We would have all been thankful to have him around even longer.

file footage

Lloyd Bentsen will always be remembered for his famous put-down of Dan Quayle: "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy." See if you can guess why that quote came to mind while I was watching the 11:00 p.m. news on Monday night.

First of all, I was surprised to see a much heavier version of myself on WBIR. The report started with video from six years ago of the last Phil & Murphy Show on 100.3 The River. They were reporting on a radio station licensed to Oliver Springs that has started using the same name. The angle on the story was that The River is back. Not so fast.

The fault lies more with WBIR than with the new radio station. They wrote their news story to make it sound like my old station was back, even though the manager of the new station made it clear that their name is really just a coincidence. To me, their "'80s, '90s and Now" slogan sounds more like another defunct station, The Point, than the "World Class Rock" once offered by The River.

Here is the video of me trying to hide my weight under an untucked shirt. Don't blink, I'm on there a couple of times but only for a second or two each.

pink ribbons

The silent auction items are starting to arrive for the charity event my friend Maureen is co-chairing. She owns Fox Chase Farm in Middleburg, Virginia, which will host the Ride for the Cure Virginia to benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

The media sponsor for the October event is WJLA-TV in nearby Washington, DC. Maureen is thrilled that Greta Kreuz and Suzanne Kennedy are planning to ride horses at the function.

Susan Olsen has promised to send an autographed copy of her upcoming book "Love to Love You Bradys: The Bizarre Story of The Brady Bunch Variety Hour." Maureen sent me photos of two autographed items that have already arrived. Melissa Etheridge sent a copy of her greatest hits CD. My pal Jimmy Kimmel sent a personalized basketball jersey.

coco chris

It's unfair to judge "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" after only two episodes but I thought the first two shows were okay. Tom Hanks was, no surprise, a great guest. Green Day was fantastic. They should have booked both of them for night one instead of Will Ferrell and Pearl Jam.

Many people I know posted the cold open from Conan's first show on their Facebook pages on Tuesday. I was proven wrong when I thought for a moment that the whole bit would be recorded in the New York and Los Angeles areas. I loved it when I saw that he was really traveling across America.



As they showed Conan running through Wrigley Field, I grabbed my cell phone and called my son, who was downstairs in his room. I said, "you've got to come up and watch this." I rewound the show to the beginning and noticed that NBC started the show at 11:34 but my DVR didn't start recording until 11:35. It stopped recording at 12:35 while the show continued until 12:37.

I also got a kick out of Conan hijacking the Universal Studios tram. They took it out onto Lankershim Boulevard. I pointed out to my son that they drove past Toyota of North Hollywood and the 99¢ Only Store, which were both walking distance from the Kling Street apartment where I lived before my family moved West to join me.



The first two nights of Conan's show felt more like the real "Tonight Show" than Jay Leno's ever did. Some of that comes from the set, which mimics Johnny Carson's and the "More to Come" bumper art. The music helps too. Max Weinberg plays with an energy more like Doc Severinsen than the sleepy slow jams Kevin Eubanks played.

Conan won't get me to switch away from "Jimmy Kimmel Live." On nights that I'm up late, I might watch Conan or David Letterman for their first half hour before switching over to ABC. I have a season pass set up to always record Jimmy's show whether I'm awake or not. That reminds me. There is something wrong with the HD feed from WATE. I've been meaning to call or email somebody about it for the past week or two. They've got eight days to get it fixed.

vodeodo

Emily Loyless went to Atlanta to audition for "So You Think You Can Dance" on Monday. My fingers are crossed for her to do well. Emily is an excellent dancer. My plodding performance in our rumba together doesn't quite do her justice.

A much better representation of Emily's skills is available to Knoxvillians via Comcast on Demand. She and Jeremy Norris did three dances at the Ruby Slippers Benefit for Family Promise of Knoxville. From the On Demand menu, choose Get Local, and then Special Events to see half an hour of highlights from the event. On the video, I saw several other instructors and students from Academy Ballroom dancing to the music of the Brad Walker Orchestra.

The ballroom staff is getting ready for a move to a new location in The Shops at Western Plaza. For now, they are still open at Downtown West, where some of the "Dancing With the Knoxville Stars" participants will reprise their performances on upcoming Friday nights. Terry Morrow and Gretchen Bartlett are set for this Friday with their respective professional partners, Rhonda and Mark Becker.

game on

How many times did my wife and I vote for Adam Lambert on "American Idol" last night? We lost count.

I was working from 8 to 10 p.m. and didn't know which phone number was for Adam and which was for little Kris Allen and his George Jetson mouth. I had enough of a break to make a quick phone call. When I got through on the 01 number, I expected the recorded voice to tell me for which contestant I had cast my blind ballot. All it said was "thanks for voting for contestant one; watch American Idol tomorrow on Fox; sponsored in part by AT&T."

Worried that I had voted for the wrong guy, I scrolled through the contact list on my phone looking for someone who would have been paying attention. My goddaughter is a huge fan of "Idol," so I called her and asked which numbers were for which singer. The odd numbers were for Adam.

Later while we watched the show on our DVR, my wife and I sat there like a couple of tweens with our cell phones voting for Adam. It was much too easy to get through on his lines, which made us vote all the more. As of late last night, DialIdol.com had Kris leading by a slight margin. Of course that was before the Glambert-loving West Coast fans had a chance to call.

Adam performed like a professional while Kris looked like a talented amateur and not just because of his creepy mustache. My wife said that Adam had more vocal control and an incredible range. He played to the audience better than Kris too. The difference was most notable on the horrible song that Kara DioGuardi co-wrote for them both to sing.

Win or lose, Adam will be fine. He's guaranteed a successful career either way. In a way I'm reminded of the year that Ruben Studdard defeated Clay Aiken. In the time since then, Clay has had a more impressive career. At the time I wanted Ruben to win but in hindsight I think Clay deserved the title.

crazy like a

It's almost become a tradition for me to watch the Fox upfront presentation at WTNZ. I always enjoy the opportunity to see a preview of the upcoming fall season.

The show that got the most attention was "Glee." I've been hearing about it a lot lately, including yesterday afternoon on NPR. Something did confuse me, however. "Glee" seems like a perfect fit for the timeslot after "American Idol." In fact, it will get a preview in that slot tonight. However in the Fall, it will follow "So You Think You Can Dance." When "Idol" returns next Winter, it will be followed by "Past Life" and "Human Target."

Other than "Glee," the Fall series that got the most attention was a comedy with Michael Strahan called "Brothers." Another comedy called "Sons of Tucson" looked a little more promising to me. Usually the show I like best is the first one canceled.

tawt I taw

The New York Times article on Twitter compared its appearance on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to the Beatles' first performance on "The Ed Sullivan Show." It also listed several little-known tricks for Twitterers and instructions on how to find the nearly hidden advanced search page.

My daughter does the Twitter and posted something today that made me laugh. She put a link to a URL on CNN.com and commented that she would now have to re-alphabetize her entire collection. I clicked on it and was most amused.

My friend Bean has started Twittering too. Last week he posted vacation updates from the graves of dead presidents. Bean has suggested that I read the feed of "KingsThings," which purports to be written by Larry King. I've heard there are a lot of celebrity impersonators on Twitter. Maybe Larry really did write, "i am entertaining the crew w/ stories about Frank Sinatra and Don Rickles. almost showtime!"

An emailer pointed out that the video of my rumba with Emily Loyless has way more views than any of the other performances from "Star 102.1's Dancing With the Knoxville Stars" fundraising event. I would like to think it was due to my own blog posts but I strongly suspect that Don Geronimo's Twitter feed had a lot to do with it. You can still make an online donation, by the way.

all natural

Tazy Phyllipz and his wife are visiting Tennessee this week. He and I worked together on the Kevin & Bean show. Like me, Tazy and his wife Maria enjoy looking for Roadside America attractions when they travel. I suggested they go to the Sunsphere and the Dolly Parton statue before heading west to Graceland. Last night they came to see Einstein Simplified perform.



In an unfortunate stroke of timing, Tazy will still be traveling when Weenie Roast tickets go on sale Thursday. He was an early supporter of many of the bands on the bill, especially Rancid. I hope he is able to find a way to get into the show. After KROQ, Tazy hosted The Ska Parade show on stations in San Diego and Orange County.

Tazy is probably going to write a book about his Forrest Gump moments. I didn't remember that he was involved in the argument between Jimmy Kimmel and Michael the Maintenance Man that led to the "Bleeda in Reseda." He also was answering the phones at KROQ when Adam Carolla first called in to offer his help as a boxing coach.

I do remember Tazy being the unintended victim of a practical joke that Jimmy tried to pull on Adam. On his April 2nd podcast, Adam said that Snapple was his beverage of choice back when he first started at KROQ. I had downloaded the show because several people emailed to tell me that guest Chris Hardwick mentioned my name as he told the story of his being hired as a deejay at the station.

One day Jimmy saw an unopened Snapple bottle in the office I shared with "Loveline" producer Ann Wilkins. He took the bottle and sat at Ann's desk, where he tampered with the product. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that Jimmy left a film of baby powder on top of the drink. I was recently reminded of that old prank when Jimmy had Guillermo do something similar but not exactly the same to the Marshmallow Peeps that Dane Cook stuffed in his mouth on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" just after Easter.

Jimmy and I waited for Adam to come out of the studio and swig his drink. Instead Tazy walked into the office and said, "Oh there's my Snapple." Jimmy and I were horrified that he had defiled Tazy's bottle, thinking it was Adam's. I emailed Jimmy yesterday and asked if he remembered Tazy Phyllipz. He replied, "not only do I remember him, LAST NIGHT I told the story about... his Snapple!" Over dinner at Patrick Sullivan's, Tazy erased some guilt I had been carrying all these years when he told me something I had completely forgotten. He said that I stopped him from drinking the tainted tea and made him put it in the trash. However I had every intention of watching Adam quench his thirst with the Jimmy-flavored juice.

take a look at that centerpiece

Chef Walter is celebrating his 20th anniversary at WVLT. I happened to be doing some grocery shopping at the same time as he was returning that day's featured arrangement to the floral department at Food City Bearden the other day. When I said hello, he said it had been a while since he saw me last. It was at a March of Dimes gala last fall.



I was pretty happy about my shopping that day. I wanted to get as much food as I could without going over a certain amount. It's like my own private game of "The Price Is Right." On Sunday I had purchased a Community Cash card worth $50. My total spent at the store was $49.63. Woo hoo!



Chef Walter wasn't familiar with the Community Cash cards. I suggested that he give them a plug during his daily cooking segment. The cards are sold at many area churches, including All Saints. The churches buy the cards at a discount from the grocery stores and sell them at face value to their parishioners. All Saints makes a 5% profit on their sales of Food City, Kroger and Fresh Market gift cards. It's a painless way to help support the parish.

strive to excel

There's a regular part of the real "Dancing with the Stars" that I used to think was bogus. The pro dancer says something to the effect of "I thought it would be a good idea to go a rodeo to see Ty in his element and figure out how we could incorporate his bull riding into the waltz."

During the course of my dance lessons from Emily Loyless, she came to see me perform with Einstein Simplified a couple of times. She knew that the other competitors in "Star 102.1's Dancing with the Knoxville Stars" would be better dancers than me. Emily realized that we could put some of my stage comedy into our rumba routine. We devised a story line based on my lack of rhythm and the difficult task she faced in teaching me. Emily's professional partner Jeremy Norris was also a tremendous help to me. He would demonstrate the parts I was trying to learn, especially a move where Emily is spinning and I had to catch her and drop her onto my knee.



Our performance opened with a spoof of one of my all-time favorite TV shows, "Mission: Impossible." The recorded voice said, "Good evening Emily. The man you are looking at is Frank Murphy from Star 102.1. He has no rhythm. He is only able to make fun of dancing while onstage with his improv group Einstein Simplified. Your mission Emily, should you choose to accept it, is to get Frank Murphy to take the rumba seriously. Should your or any of your AB Force be caught or killed, the Academy will disavow any knowledge of your action. This routine will self destruct in 90 seconds." We then danced to Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen's version of the "Theme from Mission: Impossible." As soon as video of our segment is available, I will post a link. The three judges gave us a 26, which included a 10 from Brian Corsetti, host of the upcoming DIY series "Garage Mahal." I guess that's my new favorite show. Be sure to watch it May 5th at 9:30 p.m!

Throughout the evening I imposed on various people to take a pictures of me with the other nine contestants. I also posed with Russell Biven, who wasn't dancing but was there to support his co-anchor Beth Haynes. In no particular order, here I am with Russell (whose first words to me were, "are you happy about the news?"), Beth, Carol Scott (who plans to continue dancing with Johnny Tang), Mark Nagi, Dee Dee Trotter, Terry Morrow, Mary Constantine (who withdrew due to vertigo), Kim Hansard, judges' favorite winner Gretchen Bartlett and top fundraiser Lori Tucker, whose total earned her the disco ball trophy. The event generated about $27,000 in donations to East Tennessee Children's Hospital.

wow, the clarity

ABC showed some love to "Jimmy Kimmel Live" by finally making the switch to high definition with Tuesday night's show. There wasn't much advance publicity about the upgrade. I had missed an article on the TV Week website from two weeks ago. On Tuesday afternoon, I was scrolling through the onscreen guide and noticed that the magical HD logo had been added to the listing for Jimmy's show. I shot him a quick congratulatory email and asked if the program grid was correct. His reply was "that is the plan."

During the monologue, Jimmy pointed out that they were finally going hi-def after almost six-and-a-half years on the air. They did a fake countdown to the switch, at which point Jimmy was replaced by "handsome devil" John Stamos. Panel guest Jorge Garcia amusingly referenced the higher quality at the beginning of his interview.

A while back I had written to Jimmy and mentioned that I thought it sounded like the "Nightline" anchors were turning the transmitter off for the night when they ended the show. Since then, the newscasters have changed their closing. They now mention that "Jimmy Kimmel Live" is on next. It's great to see his show getting some respect. Even Jay Leno had nice things to say in a new GQ interview.

dollar dance

The rumbas on "Dancing With the Stars" don't have much in common with the rumba I was practicing on Monday night. I felt a bit of kinship with Steve-O, who was trying to fake romance with his partner Lacey. I logged on to ABC.com to throw them a sympathy vote.

The votes for "Dancing With the Knoxville Stars" come in the form of donations to East Tennessee Children's Hospital. As of this writing, Emily Loyless and I are tied with Terry Morrow and Rhonda Becker for seventh place. Both he and I have raised $225. Only two teams have raised less. Terry wrote a funny column about his dancing progress so far.



Obviously, I need to drum up more support. I hereby ask my friends in the blogosphere to consider putting a link to my fundraising page on their sites. Here's the URL: http://www.firstgiving.com/frankmurphy The idea was inspired by reader Crystal Myers, who made a donation and sent an email in response to last Tuesday's blog post:

Just wondering, my friend Mike Nicely made your blog by donating to your "DANCING" fund. We talk about you guys all the time and he convinced me to donate to you and get you boosted up. But what I am wondering is, will it make my name BLOG WORTHY? I mean, think of the donations you would get if people knew they were bloggable! You should throw that out there. Usually when they do radiothons, folks get a shout out. So think about it and watch the Benjamins roll in or, in these tough economic times, Washingtons! But hey, it's all for an awesome cause!

I'll do it! Thanks go to my friends Keith & Kathy (the candy maker) and Marcee & Chris (of Maverick Advertising) and Greg (of Integrated Management Resources). They all made donations as did somebody named John (of no last name).

Will I stay on my feet during the performance at Academy Ballroom on April 23? If you want to see the event for yourself, call Seth Linkous at Children's Hospital to buy tickets over the phone. They are going fast and will probably sell out this week. Seth's number is (865) 541-8441.

paleoriffic

Once again, Paley Fest has made me a bit homesick for Los Angeles. Every year the organization formerly known as the Museum of Television & Radio puts on a series of seminars with the casts and creators of quality television programs. This year's festival starts Friday.

If I were still living in the Southland, I would try to get tickets to see Tuesday's presentation on "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" and next Friday's panel on "The Mentalist." My kids got me to watch "Dr. Horrible" while they were here for the holidays. "The Mentalist" is a show that truly entertains me. In fact, I'm watching the most recent episode as I type this. Coincidentally, the plot centers on an investigation at a Hollywood studio.

During week two of Paley Fest, I would want to see "Fringe" and the unaired "Pushing Daisies" episodes. I got hooked on "Fringe" while watching for "Fish Bait's" Darby Totten. She appeared as an FBI agent in several episodes. "Pushing Daisies" was chock full of clever dialogue that often made us hit the replay button. It looks like I will be able to see the last three "Daisies" from the comfort of my own home. ABC plans to burn them off on Saturday nights in May and June.

the emptiness inside

One of my wife's friends gave her an unusual gift at church on Sunday. The friend's husband makes Easter Bunnies out of balloons, yarn and starch. It looks like there's some glitter thrown in for good measure. I tried looking on the Internet to see how he does it but only found instructions for simpler items like eggs or nests.



The starch-soaked yarn solidifies around the balloons, creating a hollow center. The same basic idea is used when making Resurrection Rolls. A listener e-mailed me the recipe, which I had never heard of before. Instead of a balloon, a melted marshmallow leaves the empty space, which represents the tomb of Jesus on Easter morning. I wonder if it would work with a Marshmallow Peep instead of a standard marshmallow.

While we're on the topic of putting candy inside things, Chef Walter made a leftover Easter candy cake on Tuesday. He mixed two cups of chopped up chocolate candies into a standard cake batter. I enjoyed watching it even though he said that he hates Peeps. Sacrilege!

quick quick slow

While trying to think about topics for the blog this week, I realized my mind is so occupied with dancing, that it is impossible to write about anything else. I got my second contribution for Children's Hospital (thanks to Mike and Tiffany Nicely) and I had my fourth lesson from Emily Loyless on Monday. She had me write down the steps in our routine, which filled three and a half pages in my little notepad. Then it repeats.



Mary Constantine of the News Sentinel was practicing at the Academy Ballroom when I arrived. She thought it appropriate that the salsa had been assigned to the food writer. Beth Haynes had her first samba lesson earlier in the day. She says we can expect to see some of it on "Live at Five at Four" on Tuesday.

Is it weird that my feet hurt while watching "Dancing with the Stars" on ABC? Not during the talking, only during the dancing. I used to watch and think "there's stuff I can't do." Now I think "there's stuff I can't do but at least I know what it is." For example, near the start of Monday's show, I noticed that lucky Chuck Wicks didn't raise his arm high enough. Julianne Hough had to duck to turn under it. I empathize.

dance dance revolution

The whole point of "Dancing with the Knoxville Stars" is to raise money for East Tennessee Children's Hospital. I have been updating my fundraising page so people (like you) can donate online. While the dancing is important, the winner of the contest is actually the team that collects the most dollars. As of this writing, Lori Tucker has taken an early lead.



So far I've had two lessons, the first on Monday and the second on Thursday. On Friday evening my wife and I went to Academy Ballroom for their weekly dance party. Carol Scott, the most recently ousted chef from "Hell's Kitchen", had urged us to go so she would know somebody there. Both Carol and I thought we could squeeze in some practice with our pro partners during the social event however we also spent a fair amount of time chatting with instructors Richard Bull and Jeremy Norris. It seemed like all the guys, pros and students alike, wanted to dance with Carol and her friend Crystin.



My partner, Emily Loyless, made the rounds and danced with several of her students. Just for fun, she taught me the most basic of foxtrot steps. When a rumba came on, I practiced a simple box step with my wife. While the whole experience is still a bit daunting for me, my wife is trying to contain her excitement about finally getting me onto the dance floor. She's happy that Emily has the patience and the know-how to get me started.

sudser dud

Can anyone explain soap operas to me? I have never watched one for more than a few minutes. Last week, I made a point of tuning in to "All My Children" to see Jeff "Fish Bait" Joslin's appearance as an assistant district attorney. He was on within the first couple of scenes and I shut off the TV after he was done.

Today I was watching one of Stacy McCloud's last appearances on the noon news. By the way, she was very kind to mention me in her blog yesterday. After the news ended, I wasn't quick enough with the remote and I saw the beginning of "The Young and the Restless." It started in a morgue, piquing my interest. Then they lost me when the lid of a cheap-looking casket opened and the old woman inside sat up and talked about her exhumation. So, is she a zombie? I thought the soaps were more realistic than supernatural. Or is it just a literary device? How did she die in the first place? Why do I care?

nash bridges

Could it be only a year ago that I was congratulating Stacy McCloud on her promotion to "prime anchor" at WVLT? Fortunately for me, she stayed on the noon newscast that I watch daily.



Next week when the lovely Stacy celebrates her birthday, she will be about to start a new job once again. Sadly for Knoxville, Stacy is moving to Nashville to be the entertainment reporter for Fox 17. Those lucky stiffs. The move puts Stacy in the same newsroom as Craig Edwards, a former WVLT-er. Her last day on the air here is April 1. No fooling.



Stacy's leap from market #59 to market #29 means that I'll soon be attending another anchorwoman farewell party. It also means that I am running out of opportunities to mention her leopard-print boots, which will certainly look good on the red carpet in Nashville.

hold the pickle, hold the lettuce

A restaurant that I plan to visit in Florida later this week has brought back some old memories and I haven't even been there yet. The restaurant is Cheeburger Cheeburger and the memories are from high school.

"Saturday Night Live" was a favorite of mine while I was in high school. I still watch it today, thanks to the invention of the TiVo. There were many years in the middle that I missed. Back then, it seemed that everyone knew the latest catchphrase by the time school started on Monday morning.

One such phrase was "cheeburger, cheeburger" from a skit set in the Olympia Restaurant. John Belushi would tell his customers that they had "no Coke, Pepsi" and "no fries, chips" before shouting out their cheeseburger order to Dan Aykroyd on the grill. The burgers and the grill were real. I know because I smelled them.

My father used to play tennis with NBC announcer Bill Wendell. Mr. Wendell arranged for my wife and me to attend a taping of "Late Night with David Letterman" during our honeymoon. Years earlier, I had asked Mr. Wendell for tickets to "Saturday Night Live."

A couple of factors came into play. I was only in high school and there may have been an age limit for attending the show. Plus, at the time, SNL was a hot ticket. Mr. Wendell said he couldn't get me any tickets to the show but he could get me into the next best thing, the dress rehearsal. The dress rehearsal was held about three hours or so before the live show. It would be recorded and could be used all or in part if something went terribly awry later that night. Also, skits that didn't get a good enough reaction could be cut or rewritten before 11:30 p.m.

I just barely got up the nerve to ask a cute girl from a neighboring all-girls high school to go with me to the dress rehearsal. I figured that the hot ticket and the earlier showtime would guarantee a "yes" from her. They didn't. Instead of just saying no, Margaret Finneran turned me down because she planned to go to a father-daughter communion breakfast the next day. I ended up calling Ed Gough, my friend from seventh and eighth grades, who met me at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. By the way Margaret, I was home in time to watch the 11:30 telecast. And I made it to church in time the next morning.

That week's host was comedian Robert Klein. The musical guest was a newcomer named Bonnie Raitt. In that episode, they introduced some new skits and characters that would turn up again in later shows. Bill Murray and Gilda Radner played nerds Todd and Lisa for the first time that night and the Olympia Restaurant opened for business with its real "cheeburgers" on the grill.



During "Weekend Update," there was a joke about giant lobsters headed toward Manhattan. The show concluded with the lobsters attacking 30 Rock. Comedy writer Al Franken came up into the audience during a break and sat next to Ed and me. He informed our section that we would need to react in terror to the news of the lobster attack. The director was going to superimpose an image of a giant lobster coming toward us. Franken said that if we got it right, they would repeat the process with the live audience. If we messed it up, the bit would get dropped from the show. We must have done well enough because the shot stayed in the actual broadcast.

tribute site

Do not follow Google's directions to the Burt Reynolds & Friends Museum in Jupiter, Florida. They have you turn onto Indiantown Road, proceed 95 feet and then turn right into the museum's parking lot. As it passes the facility, Indiantown Road is an overpass with a drop of about 25 feet to the parking lot below. Fortunately my son and I spotted a sign that said "BR Museum" which pointed us around to the back of the nondescript building.



Once inside, we saw all the stuff Burt Reynolds has accumulated over the years. The displays ranged from his Palm Beach High School football letters to the keys to various cities. A good portion of the items are pictures and various things autographed by other celebrities. Some of the photos had small engraved nameplates, others did not. For example, the brass plates identified the "one and only Fred Astaire" and the "one and only Elizabeth Taylor." Also rating a plate were "kind, wonderful, talented Robby Benson," "the dearest cowboy of them all, Mr. Doug McClure" and "actor, artist, teacher and dear friend Charles Nelson Reilly." The picture of Jim Nabors had no nameplate but did have a long message from Jim: "To Burt, You're the best! And you've been more than just a friend! With love and respect, your other brother, Jim."



A large steel door was ajar next to a collection of memorabilia from "Evening Shade." It prompted me to ask the museum staff if the building had once been a bank branch or if Burt had installed the vault himself to store his most precious artifacts. I guess I was a little disappointed that the place had once been a bank. Nevertheless, I stuck my camera in the opening to get a glimpse of the things Burt didn't put on display.



Burt's Emmy and Golden Globe for "Evening Shade" were in a display case by the front door. However the docent told us that his most prized award was a huge trophy from the World Stunt Awards. As you can see from the nearby photo, it took both Burt and Arnold Schwarzenegger to lift it. Another case held a sculpture of a reclining Burt, that I thought looked pretty good.



One corner of the room held a few paintings of Burt. I didn't ask whether they were made by fans or commissioned by Burt himself. One shows him shirtless, on a horse, holding a dog. Another is a representation of his character in "Deliverance." It hangs next to the actual canoe from the film, which is inexplicably tucked away in a little nook, where it will be the last thing you see before leaving.

just to be nominated

The Oscars have been awarded and my score is five winners and five losers. I only saw ten of the nominated films, five of which won an award. Now that the pressure to see the nominees is off, I can probably wait until the other five films that interested me show up on one of the HD movie channels. I saw "The Visitor" on Starz the other day and thought it was pretty good.

Here are the five winners I saw:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
The Duchess
Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E

The five losers I saw:
Doubt
Iron Man
Tropic Thunder
The Visitor
Wanted

And the five still on my "to do list"
Changeling
Frost/Nixon
In Bruges
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
The Wrestler

hella good

Chef Carol Scott was ecstatic that some of her less-than-shining moments were cut out of the side-of-beef episode of "Hell's Kitchen." My wife and I dropped in on our local contestant's viewing party at Peerless Restaurant on our way home from Side Splitters Comedy Club on Thursday night. We saw some people we knew from church including a family who, as it turns out, lives right across the street from Carol and her family. There were a lot of kids in the room, which seemed all the more noticeable every time Gordon Ramsay or one of the contestants had to be bleeped.



Carol went to culinary school in Las Vegas and worked at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill. She and her husband Curtis moved to Knoxville because it's a better place for them to raise their two daughters. Carol Scott also used to work at Edison Park Steakhouse, the favorite restaurant of Bill and Carol Bass. I saw Mrs. Bass at Garde Bien recently and told her about Mrs. Scott's appearance on "Hell's Kitchen."

I don't know how well Carol does on "Hell's Kitchen," but I would not bet against her. She has the drive and determination to remain on the scene after the TV show is just a memory. Thanks to her great personality and on-camera presence, we will be undoubtedly be seeing more of her in the future. After all, you can take the girl out of Vegas but you can't take Vegas out of the (show)girl.

the homecoming queen's got a gun

George Mason University's homecoming game was televised last Saturday. I watched it, in high definition no less, on Comcast SportsNet MidAtlantic. So why has it taken almost a full week for me to find out that this year's homecoming queen is a dude? There was no mention of it during the telecast. The Washington Post finally had the story today. WTTG-TV and WRC-TV aired reports last night. I got all three links this morning when my daily Google Alert for GMU arrived. I suspect that the mainstream media got their news from Broadside, the weekly student paper.

Reann Ballslee, the queen in question, has previous royalty experience as a drag performer at Freddie's Beach Bar. When not in character, Reann is a popular student named Ryan Allen.

Oddly enough, this is not the first time I've mentioned GMU and drag queens in the same blog post. Please see the last paragraph of my May 18, 2006 entry. It tells you that I knew of the Queen Mary but not that I've also been backstage. The Queen Mary is the same club that Tobias Fünke referenced on the "Arrested Development" rerun I watched yesterday on HDNet.

Tobias would be jealous to know that Maximilliana had me hold his falsies as he dressed as a she. Max has posted video from that night on YouTube. It was part of the infamous Mark & Brian Show football bet punishments.

out in the hall his whole life

Comedian Billy Gardell had the crowd in hysterics tonight at the new Side Splitters Comedy Club. I had only seen him as an actor on "yes, dear" and "My Name Is Earl" and not as a comic. His stand-up act is extremely funny. He mostly riffs on marriage and parenthood, telling stories that my wife and I could easily relate to. We didn't mind his salty language although we know people who might be better off watching an edited version of his routine on TV. Billy has four more shows this weekend, two on Friday night and two on Saturday night.



One of Billy's bits is about wanting to kill whoever came up with the idea for the DIY Network. After the show, I had chance to tell him that the network's headquarters was just a stone's throw from the comedy club. We also talked briefly about former WAVA intern Greg Garcia.



Promoter John Hodge had invited us to check out the new Side Splitters. It is a definite improvement over the old Comedy Zone. The evening started with an announcement of upcoming performers including a couple of my favorites, Leanne Morgan (April 30 - May 1) and Ralphie May (July 16 - 18). Club owner Bobby Jewell did a set before Gardell. Afterward he told me that he had been using one of his jokes for twenty years. The punchline is even painted on the wall in the lounge area: "If you're gonna drink and drive, don't take our matches." Since Side Splitters is delightfully smoke free, it might be time to update the line.

the writing on the wall

Facebook has been getting a lot of media attention in the past few weeks. The "25 Things" meme was featured in USA Today and several other mainstream outlets. More recently, coverage has centered on the revelation that Facebook owns all the content you upload to it. I also found several articles about the sudden surge of older members like, uh, me.

Some of my former co-workers and I have been exchanging messages via the Inbox on Facebook. Much of it was about the WAVA Alumni group I set up. There was no use of "regular" email, just Facebook messages to book another radio interview with "Hell's Kitchen" contestant Carol Scott. As I read and replied to those emails, I was reminded of my early days online. Back then, Prodigy users could only send email to other Prodigy users. The same held true for America Online and CompuServe. Facebook feels a little bit like a return to those days. You have to be on Facebook to reach other Facebookers. Here's hoping the site figures out how to overcome the problems of its popularity.

force of habit

In an effort to see at least some of the Oscar nominees before the awards ceremony, my wife and I watched "Doubt" this afternoon. The story takes place in 1964, before people became aware of the failings of an organization which is built on the forgiveness of sins but exists in a society that requires justice and demands vengeance.

The film is set at a fictional parish in the Bronx within walking distance of the Parkchester neighborhood where my mother grew up. Most impressive was Meryl Streep's perfect accent. She sounded exactly like my Aunt Marion, with maybe a dash of Aunt Grace thrown in. The parish school is run by the Sisters of Charity, an actual order which has put information about the movie on their website.

The first time Father Flynn did the sign of the cross during Mass, I absentmindedly crossed myself along with the onscreen congregation. In that scene, Sister Aloysius hits a disruptive child on the back of the head. I wanted to her to do the same thing to a disruptive audience member at the Regal Downtown West Cinema 8.

My wife said that they used the modern arrangement of "Holy God We Praise Thy Name" instead of the old-school version of the tune. Also, they had the priest deliver his sermons following a hymn instead of right after the gospel proclamation. Several scenes are so theatrical that you can't help but be reminded that the film was adapted from a stage play. There were also a couple of times when the camera is tilted on an angle, just like when a villain's lair was shown on the old "Batman" series.

I hope Viola Davis wins for Best Supporting Actress. There was one emotional scene that should clinch it for her. It's the one where her nose starts running. I may feel differently after I see "The Wrestler," but for now I'm pulling for Viola.

I came out of the theater whistling "Blame it on the Bossa Nova," which is featured during a small scene in the film. It reminded me of an interview I did with Emily Procter when I had a show on the Comedy World Radio Network. At the time, she had a part on "The West Wing." I was rather smitten with her Ainsley Hayes character because of a well-known bathrobe bossa nova scene. I tracked down a copy of the song, which wasn't quite as easy then as it is now, and played it for her during the interview.

snafu

An article in the Washington Post yesterday described how the government messed up the conversion to digital TV, which was supposed to happen on Tuesday. A big part of the problem was that the responsibility for the changeover was split between the Federal Communications Commission and the National Telecommunications and Information Administration. It probably would have been better to let the "bad cop" FCC handle the whole thing. I think that most of the viewers who wouldn't be ready on February 17th won't be ready on June 12th either.

The article concludes by saying that over 400 stations still plan to turn off their analog signals on Tuesday. Stations that wait until the new June deadline face about $10,000 a month in additional electric bills. Here in Knoxville, WATE plans to keep their analog signal on until June 12th. Considering that their parent company just filed for bankruptcy, they might be forced to rethink that decision.

microfilm

It has been a big week for Jeff Joslin. First, he gets cast as an assistant D.A. on an episode of "All My Children." Then he and his crew finish a trailer for "Fish Bait," the partially improvised movie featuring most of the members of Einstein Simplified. I was complimented that they used several of my scenes in the trailer. The three-minute preview sets up the premise. We think we have reservations at the beautiful Flat Hollow Marina but are in fact booked into the decrepit Fear Hollow Marina. And there are giant catfish in the water.


"Fish Bait" trailer

bicentennial minute

Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin should each get two jars of Smuckers as they both turn 200 years old today. How amazing is it that two men born on February 12, 1809 would have such an effect on world history?

Thanks to the HD DVR, I have been working my way through the fascinating "Looking for Lincoln" that PBS aired last night. It was hosted by Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. The show repeats Sunday night (Monday morning) at 3am or you can watch it online.

While the PBS show makes a compelling case for visiting the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum, the fun website Roadside America has compiled a list of more unusual Lincoln-related tourist attractions. One is a tribute to the girl who urged Abe to grow a beard. Another is too gross to be true.

Three years ago I wrote a blog entry about the annual Darwin Day celebration. A couple of months back, I posted an interesting interview with the author of "Thank God for Evolution." This morning, I heard most of a Robert Krulwich report on NPR that examined why Darwin waited so long to publish his theory. Fortunately NPR, as usual, made the text and audio of the report available online.

mixed marriage

The George Mason at James Madison basketball game seemed like a good thing to put on the TV while my wife and I were relaxing at home yesterday, that is until the Dukes narrowly won in an upset. At least my wife, the JMU alumna, was happy about our schools' rivalry for the first time in five years.

The game was on DirecTV channel 642, which is Comcast SportsNet MidAtlantic. The technicians had some trouble deciding whether or not the broadcast was supposed to be in HD. They switched several times from widescreen to pillars and back. I was hoping to hear the "Mason Nation" jingle during the game. I have read about it but not heard it yet.

The GMU Patriots will be televised again on Thursday night when their away game against the Delaware Blue Hens is on ESPNU. Fans at the game will be entertained by multiple mascots, which might be lucky enough to get some nominal TV coverage. No word if Two Face will be there or not.

Apparently the University of Delaware is a mascot factory. Who knew? In addition to the current YoUDee, the court will be filled with former UD mascot team members who are now working as mascots for professional sports teams. The list includes Screech from the Washington Nationals, Slapshot from the Washington Capitals, Poe from the Baltimore Ravens, Wool E. Bull from the Durham Bulls and Swoop from the Philadelphia Eagles. They should ask Jennaphr Frederick to show up and dance with the mascots like she did a few years ago.

spring forward

Late night expert Bill Carter literally wrote the book on David Letterman and Jay Leno. In the years since the publication of "The Late Shift," Carter has written many, many articles for the New York Times about Letterman and Leno. This past week Carter deviated from the norm to write about Jimmy Kimmel, which he's done at least once before as Jimmy prepared for his first show six years ago.

The good news for Jimmy is that Carter's sources say ABC is considering moving "Jimmy Kimmel Live" from 12:05 a.m. to 11:35 p.m. They see an opportunity to compete head-to-head with NBC when Conan O'Brien takes over "The Tonight Show."

If such a move happened, it could mean the end of "Nightline." Or the news program could be moved to 12:35 a.m. One TV Squad commenter suggested that ABC move "Nightline" to 10:00 p.m. where it can continue to go head-to-head with Jay Leno.

as in minus everything interesting

What is it like to watch Quincy in a post-CSI world? Earlier this week I did my annual interview with Jon Jefferson and Dr. Bill Bass, which will air Sunday morning. I got home that day and was inspired to watch an old episode of "Quincy, M.E." that was about to start on WMAK.

The episode starts as a dead priest is discovered in a call girl's apartment. We only see a glimpse of the body's feet beyond the bedroom door. While the camera stays on the police lieutenant questioning the lady of the evening in the living room, Quincy goes into the bedroom and shuts the door! Really? I thought the show was called "Quincy, M.E." not "Monahan, P.D."



Lt. Monahan quickly suspects that the good padre has been framed. He needs Quincy to provide an explanation. Our view of the corpse is obscured by a light fixture in the autopsy room. Quincy and Sam discover a possibility that the body was moved after death. As they are telling Monahan about it, Sam says that it has to do with lividity. Proving how far we've come since then, Quincy replies, "Oh c'mon Sam, let's not bore him with the details now." Go ahead Sam, bore me!

not exactly deep throat

News organizations are known for protecting their confidential sources. In that spirit, I will never reveal how I ended up with a copy of an internal memo from WVLT-TV. It reveals that they will start sharing video with WBIR-TV on certain types of stories like news conferences or announcements by the mayor or governor. They will coordinate schedules so that only one of the stations will send a camera, instead of two. The new policy doesn't apply to "enterprise acts of journalism." According to the memo, WATE-TV declined to participate in the video sharing program.

On the surface, it looks like another cost-cutting move, such as the switch to "one-man band" news gathering in which the reporter has to be their own cameraperson and editor. However, if you look at it from the point of view of a community event or a charitable organization trying to get some news coverage, it could mean that they get seen on two channels instead of one. For example, if this policy had been in effect a couple of weeks ago, there would have been fewer cameras at the new bishop's press conference. And the footage of the cantata at All Saints Church that was on WBIR could have been on WVLT too. More coverage could have meant more people at our second performance and therefore more money in the collection basket for Catholic Charities.

the backwards robe

This hasn't been the best week for me. I've been fighting a cold, which started with a sore throat the night before the second performance of the cantata at All Saints Church. Plus I was saddened by the anniversary of my father's death on Wednesday and by the news today that a co-worker died after a long illness. There were a couple of other things too. On the plus side, I was asked to sponsor a candidate in the RCIA at Sacred Heart Cathedral and I got to go to the circus.

Late Tuesday night, my wife and I went to Walgreens to buy me some more decongestant. While the pharmacist was checking our driver's licenses, I was looking at the "As Seen On TV" shelf. I decided to buy the item my wife has been wanting since she first saw the commercial. And although it's hers, she let me try on her brand new Snuggie.



It reminds me of a choir robe, a hospital gown and an airline blanket. It's fairly thin, which became obvious when I held it up to a light. Apparently there is also a product called the Slanket, which claims to be thicker and is considerably more expensive than the $14.95 we paid for the Snuggie at Walgreens. Unlike the TV commercial, we only had to buy one Snuggie and didn't have to pay an extra $7.95 each for shipping and handling. We still got the bonus book light, as promised on the box.

the best medicine

The Christmas gift that my friend Bean gave me is the companion book to the PBS miniseries "Make 'Em Laugh." The first two segments aired last Wednesday but I didn't get to them until the other day. Make sure you set your DVR to catch the rest of the episodes.

The series runs for six hours. There's another half hour available online, appropriately titled "Teh Internets." They also link to five classic viral videos. If you haven't already seen all five, you should have your Internet access revoked.

Last week on TV, they did an hour on "Nerds, Jerks & Oddballs" followed by an hour of "Breadwinners and Homemakers." This week's topics are "The Knockabouts" and "The Groundbreakers," which are about slapstick and freedom of speech respectively. The TV episodes are arranged in a different order than the chapters of the book. Some excerpts from the book can be found online, including most of the section on early radio comedy.

For someone like me, the show is fun piece of nostalgia. As a kid, I watched a lot of famous comedians from well before my time, so I was already familiar with Harold Lloyd, Buster Keaton and the like. "Make 'Em Laugh" shows clips that remind me of the movies and shows I've seen throughout my life. I'm not sure that I would be as entertained if I didn't know the source material. I find it interesting when they dissect the humor, but like frogs, the jokes get killed in the process.

serious name dropping

The History Channel has been running presidential-themed programming all day. Earlier I watched a segment about James Madison on a show called "The Presidents." Tonight I was completely drawn in by a show called "Secret Access: Air Force One." As nice as the plane is, the couch that converts into the president's bed made me think that the customized 747 is actually the world's fanciest R.V.

Air Force One delayed my flight in April, 2005. President Bush was supposed to visit Great Smoky Mountains National Park for Earth Day. Bad weather kept him at McGhee Tyson Airport instead. While he was here, I was waiting to go to the Washington, D.C. area via the late great Independence Air, which I still miss.



In all the years I lived in the D.C. suburbs, I only had two presidential encounters. Jimmy Carter waved at the box office staff when I worked at Wolf Trap Farm Park for the Performing Arts. I later met Mr. Carter a couple of times when I booked him as a guest on KLOS. He came in at least twice to promote books he had written.

I've already written about the time my friend Bean and I broadcast from the White House lawn for a Redskins victory celebration. We saw Ronald Reagan throw a pass to Ricky Sanders. Yes kids, there was a time when the Redskins were that good.



I shook hands with George H.W. Bush, but not while he was president and not while in D.C. He made a campaign stop at Villanova University. I foolishly spent two semesters there as a math major and soon realized that I fit in better at the student newspaper and student radio station. Mr. Bush had a luncheon with student leaders in the Connelly Center as many of us looked on from an upper level. He made some remarks and acknowledged the people he was with, including Villanovan editor Marianne Lavelle. I started a chant of "Marianne, Marianne," which prompted Mr. Bush to call her to his side for a hug. Cameras flashed and a big picture of the two of them was splashed above the fold on the front page of The Philadelphia Inquirer the next day. That's when Marianne told me that her family members were leaders in the local Democratic party and that she now had a lot of explaining to do.

Bill Clinton came to Los Angeles after his term to speak at the Radio & Records convention. I was working at the convention for my friend Pam Baker. She assigned me to be the liaison for "Access Hollywood" anchors Nancy O'Dell and Pat O'Brien. I had known Pat for years from his frequent guest appearances on KROQ. He felt comfortable telling me that he really wanted to be introduced to Mr. Clinton, which wasn't on the official agenda. I was aware of the path that the former president would take through the kitchen to the ballroom so I positioned Pat and Nancy in the corridor until the time was right. As Mr. Clinton was chatting with some people in his entourage, I saw my opening and took it. "Mr. Clinton, I'd like you to meet Nancy O'Dell and Pat O'Brien," I said. He quickly turned to greet them, as I thought he would, especially since Nancy is gorgeous.

promises fulfilled

Bishop-elect Richard Stika was in East Tennessee most of this week. He was introduced at a press conference on Monday. Lori Tucker interviewed him on Tuesday morning for a piece that aired on WATE Thursday night

While he was in town, Stika traveled around the diocese to get acquainted. He went to Catholic Charities to meet their less fortunate clients, including two elderly men who asked him, "Why did the Pope cross the road?" I'm not exactly sure what their punchline was, but it might have been "because he crosses everything."

Bishop-elect Stika returned to St. Louis today. He'll pack up his belongings and his dog Rosie and get back in time for his installation as Bishop on March 19 at the Knoxville Convention Center. I found out the other day that the ordination Mass will start at 2:30 p.m. and last for at least three hours. Plans are being made to webcast the ceremony. I think I would rather be there in person, especially since there will be a reception afterward. The Bishop-elect hopes that all the local Catholic school children will attend too.

If his visit to Tennessee had lasted a day longer, the Bishop-elect could have come to hear the "Journey of Promises" cantata at All Saints Church tonight. Someone from the chancery did check to see if there might have been a rehearsal that he could have attended last night but there wasn't. However they have been practicing for months.

The performance went well and got mentioned on WBIR's late newscast. My friend Kathy had emailed all the TV stations to request that they consider sending a camera, since they would likely have crews right next door to cover the Webb at Catholic basketball game. The publicity will help fill the seat's for Sunday's performance. Admission is free but they do take up a collection for Catholic Charities.

The All Saints choir was joined by members of the Knoxville Symphony Youth Orchestra and a few adult parishioners who can play instruments. I read one of the three spoken word parts. Look closely and you can see Fr. Ragan Schriver and me at the podium in the background of the photo below. We'll play it again on Sunday at 3:00 p.m. I hope to see you there.

rich it is

As rumored yesterday, the next Bishop of the Diocese of Knoxville was introduced at a press conference this morning. Bishop-elect Richard Stika is moving to Tennessee from a parish in St. Louis where one of his parishioners is Stan "The Man" Musial.

Three local television stations covered the event. WBIR and WVLT each sent a cameraman. WATE also sent reporter Kristyn Caddell who remembered me from our recent encounter with the Christmas penguin.



I also saw reporters from the News Sentinel and the Farragut Press. After breaking the news at 6 o'clock this morning, the Catholic blog Whispers in the Loggia linked to a profile of the Bishop-elect from the St. Louis Beacon.

The best photos of the press conference will probably be the ones taken by Deacon Patrick Murphy-Racey. He also had the best position for his video camera. I hope to see his work on either the Diocese website or his own site. I couldn't find any of his pictures tonight.

Many of the priests of the Diocese were in attendance as well as the Bishops of Nashville and Memphis. Louisville Archbishop Joseph Kurtz was warmly received by his former staff. It was his first time back to the chancery since his elevation to Archbishop.

I introduced myself to Fr. John Dowling of St. John Neumann parish and asked him the question I had about his new building and the Bishop's cathedra. Fr. Dowling said that yes, the Bishop could theoretically choose to move his chair to another building, thereby making it the new cathedral. However, Fr. Dowling is not pushing for that. He agreed that the Bishop would probably want to leave the cathedral right where it is, next door to the chancery, which has seen some improvements since Archbishop Kurtz left for Louisville. I also asked Fr. Dowling about the mosaic Stations of the Cross in his new church. He bought those from a clearing house in Atlanta that sells fixtures from closed churches in other parts of the country. Because he had those first, he was able to design the width of the windows so that the Stations would fit perfectly underneath them.

I found it interesting that the Bishop-elect has had to keep the news of his appointment a secret since December 16. And that he is allowed say Mass in Aramaic when celebrating with the Maronite Church.

straight from the heart worms

Woodpeckers are a problem in my neighborhood. My next-door neighbor once told me a funny story about how he bought some rubber snakes in the gift shop at the Knoxville Zoo and placed them on his roof in an effort to scare away the birds. He ended up scaring some workmen he had hired to clean the chimney. I have a couple of rubber snakes wrapped around two of the bird-damaged wooden posts on my front porch. I could use several more.

On New Year's Eve, my son was with me for Einstein Simplified's appearance on "Live at Five at Four." As we left the television station, he looked up and noticed that WBIR is using the same method to discourage some birds from nesting in their logo, but with limited success.

final answer

There was a time when the Regal Downtown West Cinema had lines wrapped around the building for movies like "Jurassic Park." Our friend Jennifer told us about those days when my son wondered why Regal Cinemas would have two properties as close as Downtown West and West Town Mall. Downtown West survived by screening smaller, independent films that are rarely seen in other markets our size. Its very existence serves as a reminder that the country's largest movie theater chain is headquartered not in Hollywood, but in Knoxville. Coincidentally, Regal CEO Mike Campbell was interviewed tonight by Lori Tucker on WATE. And Byron Chesney shared a link to a new interview with Campbell on the BusinessTN site.

My wife and son and I met our friend at Downtown West tonight to see "Slumdog Millionaire." I realize that most people can't drop everything and rush out to a movie on a Thursday night but I would have liked to have seen a bigger crowd there tonight. "Slumdog" deserves to have lines wrapped around the block.

Jamal, the lead character, works in a call center for a cell phone company, but not as a customer service representative. He's the chaiwalla, the guy who brings tea to the operators. The authorities suspect him of cheating on the Indian version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" Flashbacks to his childhood illustrate how he learned the answer to each of the game's questions. They also tell the heart wrenching story of Jamal's life in poverty. He is covered in filth, both literally and figuratively. It is both a feelgood movie and a shocking look at slums, orphanages and crime. On top of all that, Jamal is searching for his childhood love, the beautiful Latika. As someone who always stays for the closing credits, I was rewarded with an unexpected yet very entertaining Bollywood-like dance number. I hope the movie is rewarded with some trophies at the various award shows in the weeks ahead.

on an open fire!

Even Michael Phelps would have trouble burning off all the calories in my Christmas stocking and under our tree. I have been schlepping to the indoor pool at the fitness center at least three days a week all through the holiday season to help assuage the guilt.

Just in time for the holiday eating season, I found a blog called Back to the Fridge by Charlie Hills. I thought about adding it to the blogroll on the right of my page, but the BTTF design doesn't lend itself to easy scrolling and browsing. Instead I view his posts via Google Reader. On Friday, Charlie wrote: "Although the new year is now officially underway, let’s face it: our diets don’t start until Monday." My thoughts exactly! Charlie's tastes agree with mine in two other important areas: TV women and Chex Mix. A lot of guys wisely choose Mary Ann over Ginger but not everyone picks Bailey over Jennifer.

I always get some sweet treats for Christmas. This year I seemed to be especially blessed. I've already mentioned the marshmallows I got from friends and alluded to the gingerbread cookies my kids made. Perhaps my professed affection for See's Candies inspired some family members to load me up with gourmet chocolates.

Today we tried to slice and share some truffles from Joseph Schmidt, Master Chocolatier. One of the truffles in the package of three was supposed to be pomegranate flavor. The others were "all dark" and "extra dark." We couldn't tell by looking at them. The outer shells were a bit hard and broke when we tried to cut them in half. The excellent taste was not affected. Unfortunately the French truffles from Bissinger's were not quite as good. My wife chose the espresso and mint flavors. I took the raspberry. We split the double chocolate and the hazelnut. They were okay, just not as delicious as I had hoped.

The Chocolate Filled Candy Canes we got from Elegant Gourmet didn't do it for me either. After tasting a piece of my wife's, I gave mine away. There was too much candy cane and not enough chocolate for my taste.

On the other hand, a small box of assorted Krause's Chocolates was a very nice surprise for our family to share. They were chosen for us by our daughter's boyfriend who had visited the shop in Saugerties, New York. The chocolates came with a page that identified the flavors by the color of the paper cup and the shape of the candy. For example, the raisin cluster was in a red cup and had a bumpy surface. The butter cream comes in a white cup with a smooth top. Another candy-related gift I received from the same benefactor was a "Star Trek" set of Pez dispensers. As you can see, they're all straight but Sulu.

the world is a stage

Why does the Tournament of Roses bother having a parade theme each year? Or why don't they do a better job of enforcing the use of the theme in all the floats? This year's theme was "Hats Off to Entertainment," apparently chosen because the current tournament president owns a restaurant called The Hat. There were some great floats that made use of the theme but there were others that made no sense to me. Knoxville native Jack Hanna rode on a float with realistic representations of wild animals. I didn't see anything about entertainment there. Hanna even kept his hat on. I also wonder why they still have so many equestrian units in the parade. I like parades with floats, bands and balloons. I don't need to see people riding horses unless they're doing something special, like the group that does rope tricks.

I thought there was a meeting each year for all the float sponsors to present their sketches to the committee. If any were too similar, changes would be made. The City of Burbank's self-built float represented a 3D sci-fi movie. A professionally built float for Trader Joe's also had movie monsters and 3D glasses. I have a feeling that this has happened to Burbank before but I can't remember exactly when. They might also want to make sure no two bands play the same song, like "That's Entertainment!" for example.

The City of Roseville had a float that looked like an old steam locomotive, spouting clouds of steam. It was funny that the float giving off the most steam exhaust won the trophy for best depiction of life in California. Jack in the Box entered the parade for the first time with two other firsts. According to the announcers, it was the first float with a disco theme and the first float with its own bathroom on board. The highly-touted, overrated Honda entry took forever to do its little trick and shoot confetti out of a hat. I think the rest of the parade had to pick up the pace to make up for the extra time Honda took.

I am curious to know how Stephanie Edwards got her old gig back as co-host of the Rose Parade coverage on KTLA. The station must have done some callout research. Bob Eubanks and Stephanie could also be seen nationwide on the Travel Channel. I could not find a high definition feed of KTLA's coverage like I did last year. Unfortunately the Travel Channel is still not in HD on DirecTV. The picture was blurry and unwatchable. On top of that, they ran an annoying crawl across the bottom third of the screen with text messages from viewers. In Los Angeles, the KTLA broadcast used to be commercial-free. The Travel Channel stuck advertisements for the Snuggie, the Twin Draft Guard and Mighty Mendit into the live broadcast, which made it feel like we missed seeing some parade entries. They should have timed the commercials to coincide with the equestrian units. KTLA has posted video of the entire parade on their website.

While the Travel Channel was unwatchable, the NBC coverage looked great but was unlistenable. Al Roker would not shut up. When some shirtless Hawaiians were on screen, he declared the new parade theme to be "pants off to entertainment." When the Penn State Blue Band performed, Roker said that it would take a long time for the band to "clear our cameras." When I flipped past, I almost always heard Roker talking over a band's performance. An interesting article in the Los Angeles Times says the Tournament of Roses gave NBC better camera positions to keep them from dropping their coverage.

Meanwhile on ABC, the parade hosts let the pictures do the talking. They let the bands be seen and heard. In the past, I have felt that ABC's coverage was lacking, that they only broadcast the parade as part of their obligation to get the rights to air the Rose Bowl. This year's telecast had a different feel. The hosts, Hannah Storm and Josh Elliott of ESPN seemed happy to be there, they did a good job of describing the floats and bands without getting in the way, they had good camera angles and interesting pre-taped features by John Naber about the building of the floats. It's as if the network stepped up and made their coverage the "official" broadcast of the parade. They had microphones on Cynthia Nixon and Cloris Leachman with the intention of interviewing both ladies as they rode past. Nixon's interview about breast cancer went well. Leachman's mic worked fine but she seemed clueless that Storm and Elliott were talking to her. Hannah Storm handled the mishap well. Because I was flipping channels, it took me a while to even realize that I was watching Hannah Storm. A couple of years ago I was critical of the terrible job she did on CBS' coverage of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I've realized since her departure from CBS that it wasn't her fault. Her replacement made all the same mistakes, which indicates that the problems are with the writers, researchers and directors of the CBS coverage. CBS has stopped covering the Rose Parade. They should drop the Thanksgiving parade too.

Another possible reason for my not immediately recognizing Hannah Storm could be her new look. She may have had some kind of fashion makeover. Whatever she did, it worked. Toward the beginning of the broadcast, Josh Elliott sat there staring at her while she was talking. He looked enamored. About 40 minutes into the broadcast, WATE came back from a local commercial and forgot to switch from SD to HD. I had just complained about this same thing during the public affairs show I did this past week. Naturally, I called WATE to inform them. The guy who answered the phone put me on hold and called master control. As he got back to me, the problem was fixed. I noticed that they were right on time with all of their other switches after local commercials.

At the same time I was flipping between ABC, NBC and the Travel Channel, I was recording the commercial-free HD broadcast on HGTV. If I could only watch one version of the parade, this would be it. The audio was excellent, the video was excellent and the hosts did a solid job. Jann Carl and Robb Weller did both say "toin coss" instead of "coin toss." But if it was the only channel I watched, I would have nothing to write about today except their inadvertent spoonerism.

is this my new TV?

Contrary to popular belief, today is the fifth day of Christmas. In lieu of golden rings, I'm taking a break from holiday themed blog posts to share a podcast with you. Today is also 50 days until the digital television transition. As a cable and satellite subscriber, I thought I was ready until WATE ran a test recently and my cable company failed. Way to go, Knology!

On yesterday's public affairs radio program, I interviewed Russ Manning of East Tennessee Public Television. They had to make the switch early when their analog transmitter broke down last June. You can listen to the show by clicking on the play button below or you can download it by right-clicking here. During the interview, Russ mentions that you can get more information from their website. He also recommends a site called Antenna Web, where you can enter your address to find out about the broadcast towers near you and where to point your antenna to receive their free over-the-air broadcasts. There is still time to get a converter box coupon before the switch.

After the taping ended, we were still talking about local TV. I told Russ about my blog entry on WBIR's local HD programming. And we both wondered why WVLT cannot control the volume on their local commercials.

I had fun with the on-air conversation too, especially since I got to gripe about the way some local stations switch from HD to SD before the late local news. I also talked about a blog post by a woman named Cassie whose mother hated the new digital TV they bought for her on Black Friday. Toward the end of the show, Russ and I reference a very funny viral video that I told you about forty days ago. Whether you've seen it before or not, please take two minutes to enjoy this PSA from "Talkshow with Spike Feresten." And then you'll be up to speed for the thirty-minute podcast.

gifts received

The Christmas gift from my friend Bean is perfect for me. The book "Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America" by Laurence Maslon and Michael Kantor is filled with chapter after chapter of my favorite comedians. The first random page I opened to had a picture of the Marx Brothers on it. A second flip fell open to a photo of my radio idols, Bob & Ray. My luck held when the third page I saw had Jerry Seinfeld's picture. Thanks Bean! I'll continue to enjoy this for a long time to come.

My lovely wife was thinking of my desire to listen to more podcasts when she got a good bargain on a Sony Walkman. Not only does it hold plenty of audio, video and picture files but my friend Sandy will be interested to know that it has a built-in FM radio too. I listened to a podcast of last week's "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me" while eating dinner tonight.

My kids were thoughtful and generous with their gifts too. My son gave me Stephen Colbert's book, "I Am America (And So Can You!)," which looks like it will be a fun read. My daughter knew that the DVDs of the old