Wednesday, March 31, 2010

the end zone

The newest Body Farm novel has been a topic of conversation almost everywhere I've been over the past week. At last night's Einstein Simplified show, a guy named Moose told me that his father had been at the Oak Ridge book signing. Moose was amused that I had signed page 359 of his dad's copy of "The Bone Thief." One of the errors caught by my proofreading got mentioned by Jon Jefferson in a great interview with Chapter 16:
Chapter 16: Do you ever have trouble keeping the two separate when you're writing?

Jefferson: In this latest book, The Bone Thief, there was one place in the manuscript, when I was writing along, that I actually wrote Dr. Bass instead of Dr. Brockton. And it wasn't until before it went to press that anybody caught that. So mostly it's not hard to keep the fictional Dr. Brockton separate from the real Dr. Bass, but occasionally it gets a little blurry in the wee small hours when I have been writing a long time.
My friend Brian Egan and his wife Jen were visiting from the D.C. area yesterday. We met at Patrick Sullivan's before the improv show. Jen was excited to hear about the books and plans to give them as gifts to a family member. Somebody, maybe it was Brian, shouted out "body farm" as a suggestion for one of our improv games.

While chatting about the Body Farm with some folks on Monday, I was reminded of something I heard Dr. Bill Bass say on Thursday. I did a little impromptu emceeing at the Oak Ridge event, by helping with the Q&A session. I asked the assembled crowd to indicate if they wanted to be buried, cremated or skeletonized at the Farm. One man approached Dr. Bass later to say that his mother had donated her remains to the facility upon her death last year. Dr. Bass said that the man could call the anthropology department and make an appointment to visit his mother's bones, once they had been cleaned and stored in Neyland Stadium. It was another fascinating fact that was new to me.

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Monday, March 29, 2010

prodigal stun

What once was lost has now been found! Four months after I lost my digital camera, it has found its way back to me.

On the day after Thanksgiving, my kids and I purchased a new washer and dryer as a Christmas gift for my wife. They posed for pictures with the floor models of the appliances. Our plan was to give my wife the photos on Christmas day, since the machines wouldn't be delivered until the next day. That never happened because I lost the camera somewhere at the mall, probably in the parking lot.

This past week, I received the following message from a college student named Alayna. She used Facebook to look me up.
Over the Christmas holidays I found an Olympus camera in the West Town Mall parking lot. Once going through the pictures to try to find out whose it might be, I found there were many pictures of you and Alan Williams from channel 8 on it. If it is yours or you think you might know whose it is, please reply.
The photo of Alan Williams that Alayna saw was from the Signature Chefs Auction on November 8. She didn't mention the picture of Kristin Farley that was next on the memory card.



Obviously, I wrote back to Alayna and added her as a friend. Her busy schedule made it hard to arrange a meeting. However her parents lived reasonably close to the location of a remote broadcast I had on Friday afternoon. They arrived with the camera and told me the rest of the story. Surprisingly, I have "Fish Bait" to thank.

Like mine, their family went to the mall on Black Friday. Alayna saw my camera in the parking lot and picked it up. It must have wanted to be lost, because it promptly disappeared somewhere in her car. She was cleaning the vehicle recently and found the camera again. Fortunately, it still had enough battery life left for Alayna and her father to look at the photos and do some research.
As far as the detective work, I have to give the credit for actually figuring out that it was yours to him. I had looked through the pictures a few times to see if maybe I could figure it out from that. I recognized Allan Williams but with my busy schedule didn't have time to really figure out how to get in contact with him. Then last weekend, I was at home and up late working on a school project. My dad got hungry and we started talking about the camera. He started going through it again and found the picture of the film you were in, noticed you in it, Googled the film and found your picture. Then I just Facebooked you to see if it was you and as they say, the rest is history. Ha-ha! I wonder if it wasn't for the movie, if we would have ever figured it out. Glad you got it back. :)
Alayna's dad said it was these two pictures from the "Fish Bait" premiere that gave him the clues he needed. Now I have to figure out how to return the $27 in donations that I received for a replacement camera.

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Sunday, March 28, 2010

shell games

The torrential rain today meant that my wife and I had to suggest an indoor activity for our house-guests. My wife's sister and four of her kids are here on their spring break. We drove to tourist-friendly Sevier County and were slightly delayed by the last participant in the Knoxville Marathon. One of the cops who stopped traffic confirmed to me that I was watching the final runner cross Henley Street.

Three and a half years ago, my wife and I enjoyed a visit to RainForest Adventures. We thought her young nephews would want to go there too. They liked it, almost as much as I did. Because I'm a fan of tortoises, I tried looking eye-to-eye at one through the glass. Another glanced up at me from the middle of a huddle.

Another visitor bought pellets to feed some Australian pygmy goats. I saw two flightless birds out in the rain but didn't notice their egg until I got home and viewed the photos.

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

song choice

Adam Golka almost made us late for The Breakfast Club. The piano virtuoso was practically forced to play an encore by Maestro Lucas Richman. My wife and I attended last night's performance by the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra. The second half of the concert was Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3. Guest artist Golka tore the roof off the place with his performance. He received an immediate standing ovation and while the applause was still loud and strong, Richman literally pushed the 22-year-old back to the piano bench. I've been to the symphony dozens of times and had not seen this happen before. Golka launched into an opus by Schubert as the orchestra members watched silently.

Between pieces in the first half of the show, the Maestro greeted the audience and thanked the sponsors as usual. He also got in a plug for his participation in Star 102.1's Dancing with the Knoxville Stars. I found it funny when he urged the symphony audience to go to the radio station's website, where they can find the link to donate in his name. I assumed that most of the crowd had no idea what he was talking about but I may have been wrong.

At intermission, web-connected cell phones were glowing and the Tennessee Theatre was buzzing with news of the Tennessee Vols. Their Sweet Sixteen game against Ohio State was nearing its conclusion. I heard one man say that he had smuggled in a radio with an earphone to listen to the game. Local PR executive Alan Carmichael let me look over his shoulder as he checked Twitter on his smartphone. That's how I learned that the Vols won just before intermission ended. The news spread to the audience as the musicians were tuning up for the Rachmaninoff concerto and a cheer erupted. I sent Carmichael and his wife, Cynthia Moxley, a message suggesting that the orchestra should launch into "Rocky Top."

Golka's encore meant that my wife and I didn't get to the Valarium until after 10:30. I thought we had missed the start of The Breakfast Club show but their opening act was still on its last song when we arrived. The popular '80s cover band hit the stage a short while later. My wife and I figured that they probably save all the best songs for last. Except for "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," I didn't hear any of my favorites during the first set, although the other fans seemed more than ready to Wang Chung last night.

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

anchors aweigh

"Wow, that photo is like your dreams come to life! Nice," said the message from my friend Bean, who had just seen a picture I posted to Twitter. Three morning news anchors from three different television stations had come in to be interviewed about their participation in Star 102.1's Dancing with the Knoxville Stars.

I danced in last year's version of the event and my wife made a donation to East Tennessee Children's Hospital on my behalf. Each dollar raised by the dancers counts as one vote toward their total. My wife and I will donate again this year and I thought we might divide our dollars evenly between the fundraising pages for Tearsa Smith, Abby Ham and Allison Kropff. On Monday night my wife came home from a Knoxville Choral Society rehearsal with a different idea. She would donate to Lucas Richman's account.

I should have thought of that sooner. After all, the Maestro is dancing with Emily Loyless, the new co-owner of Academy Ballroom, who was my partner last year. Also, I'm the one who invited Lucas to participate via Stephanie Burdette, the Knoxville Symphony's director of communications. On top of all that, Richman's total is lagging behind the TV women, who have been tirelessly promoting the event on their newscasts.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

chance of blurries

Movies 7, the place formerly known as the "dollar theater" now charges $2 a ticket, which is still pretty good. While we waited for the show to start Sunday night, my wife and I saw an odd combination of ancient slides advertising the concessions, outdated E! fun facts about movies from the '90s, and some Coca-Cola sponsored trivia questions about movies that haven't come out yet. The "pre-show entertainment" included a commercial for Coke Zero, which made me want some. Unfortunately, that theater doesn't sell any. I had to settle for a Diet Coke.

My wife and I saw "Up in the Air" which had great performances, a good story and a plot twist that I was glad I didn't know about. It didn't matter that the print was a little out of focus. The fact that they even use prints was surprising to me. All the other Carmike Cinemas I've visited have digital projection in every screening room.

The trailers were worse, in that they were noticeably less focused than the main feature. I decided that I could skip "Shutter Island" and "The Road." The trailer for the latter had vertical streaks through the whole thing. The most ridiculous trailer was for the blockbuster film "Avatar." I can understand why people flocked to see it in IMAX and 3-D; it's a technological wonder. But why would anyone watch an out-of-focus print of it? The plot isn't strong enough on its own to support three hours of entertainment.

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Sunday, March 21, 2010

walk and chew gum

Before I was asked to auction off a meal with the Bishop at the annual fund-raising dinner for Catholic Charities of East Tennessee, I had already agreed to be the honorary chairman for their "Kids Helping Kids Fun Walk." The event benefits Columbus Home, a refuge for boys who are victims of abuse and neglect. Sponsors are still needed for the walk. Sponsorships are $250 (full), $125 (half), or $50 (partial). Call (865) 524-9896 if you can help.

The annual walk will be on Sunday, May 16 at All Saints Church. The parish grounds have a walking trail that is popular with Knoxvillians of all denominations.

WBIR anchor John Becker and I recorded a public service announcement for the Fun Walk. He wore a WBIR track suit and I wore one of Fr. Ragan Schriver's shirts with a Catholic Charities logo on it.

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Friday, March 19, 2010

without a net

Skydiving and bungee jumping will never appeal to me. I wonder if the rush that you get from surviving is similar to the feeling I had last night when I stepped off the stage at the benefit dinner for Catholic Charities of East Tennessee. Event chair Tami Hartmann asked me to auction off an expensive bottle of Beaux Frères wine and then auction off dinner for ten with Bishop Stika right there in front of Bishop Stika.

photo by Cynthia Moxley; used by permission Cynthia Moxley and Alan Carmichael were seated front and center. I joked that I might finally rate a mention in Cynthia's Blue Streak blog, which was recognized by the News Sentinel's readers last fall. She wrote about the dinner and included a photo of me in full auction action.

At the time, I thought my anxiety came from doing shtick in front of the Bishop and so many priests and people I knew from church. In hindsight, I realize that my jokes were no worse than the things I said at the roast for Fr. Ragan Schriver. For example, I said that whoever bought the pricey Pinot Noir should share it with Bishop Stika because it was heart-healthy. I also said that I hoped someone from my parish would buy the dinner and once everyone was relaxed and in a good mood, they would lobby the Bishop for an additional priest to be sent to All Saints, which now has only two left. However, I can't remember most of the things I said. Fr. Christian Mathis, who recognized me from my blog, posted one of my jokes on Twitter. If you were there last night and can help me fill in the blanks, please leave a comment here.

The Bishop graciously accepted my wisecracks and afterward asked if I had previous auctioning experience. I told him it was actually my first time and that I had tried to copy Bear Stephenson, the great auctioneer at the March of Dimes Signature Chefs Auction. I still have a lot to learn. I think my case of nerves happened when the bidding for the dinner at any Connor Concepts restaurant slowed and eventually stopped at $3,500. I guess I was hoping for more.

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

popular science

Next week literally thousands of Tennesseans will line up at bookstores (and a Sam's Club) to get autographed copies of "The Bone Thief." If Dr. Bill Bass stayed up that late, the Knoxville stores could probably draw big crowds to midnight book release parties like they used to for Harry Potter. The Bone Zones team has set a goal of reaching The New York Times bestseller list with the newest Body Farm novel.

Susan Seals from Bone Zones informed me that Dr. Bass will be attending most but not all of the signings. Jon Jefferson will do some of them solo. If your heart is set on meeting the famed anthropologist, double check Susan's schedule against the HarperCollins schedule before standing in line. Susan is working on a special on-air opportunity for me to give to a few lucky fans who will be going to the Books-A-Million event in Oak Ridge on Thursday, March 25.

The folks at HarperCollins sent me some bullet points related to the story and a link to a short video that Jefferson & Bass had to go shoot the same day they recorded a radio interview with me. The video has lots of bones and a corpse or two.
  • Currently more than 100,000 people in the United Stares are on waiting lists for organ transplants
  • More than 100 of them die every week while waiting
  • Selling human organs and tissues on the black market to desperate buyers can be highly lucrative
  • Hand transplantation reflects a grim reality of war: these days, most U.S. hand amputees are soldiers, injured by improvised explosives in Iraq
  • Sadly, hand trauma’s other victims include thousands of children, maimed by land mines in war zones around the world

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

see through

Bob Yarbrough has been anchoring WVLT's noon news solo lately. Allison Kropff got moved over to the weather desk when Jim Freeman left. They gave Freeman a cake on his last day and wished him well. They mentioned that he was not leaving the area, just the station. His departure came shortly before the surprising announcement that Michele Silva had been hired to co-anchor the early morning news.

Today Allison acknowledged that she had not worn green during the morning show but had changed into a green turtleneck for the noon newscast. She said to stay tuned because she would tell us why she hadn't started St. Patrick's Day in the green clothes. It was great fun to watch a few minutes later when she walked over to the weather wall and became a floating head!

Chef Walter did not disappoint either.

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Sunday, March 14, 2010

mad magazine

The big news at All Saints Church this morning was that Fr. Tony Dickerson has asked Bishop Stika for a leave of absence from the priesthood. We were all asked to pray for Tony, who is a favorite of my family. It's got to be a tough job. There are many former priests out there including one of my mother's relatives. Fr. Tony got a big laugh a couple of months ago when he told the congregation at 8:15 a.m. Mass that he suspected they liked to go to church early so they can beat the Baptists to Cracker Barrel.

Bishop Stika has been in my thoughts for two other reasons this past week. In the newest edition of the East Tennessee Catholic, the Bishop responds to some hateful anti-Catholic propaganda that was recently distributed in Pigeon Forge. The story hit the local news just before my wife and I headed out of town, coincidentally to the Bishop's hometown of St. Louis. Because of our travels, we didn't realize that it made the national news too.

The ridiculous pamphlets falsely allege that Catholics are not Christians and that our belief in the Holy Eucharist was stolen from ancient Egyptian sun worshipers. I wonder if the author has ever driven past a Catholic church, much less opened a book to do any research about it. I found a great blog post written by a priest who is a convert to Catholicism. He quotes Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen who said there are very few people who disagree with what Catholics believe, but there are millions who disagree with what they think Catholics believe. I was reminded of my late grandfather who used to question what it was that modern-day Protestants were protesting.

The last bit of Bishop Stika news to cross my desk last week involves me more directly. The annual Catholic Charities dinner is this Thursday. I was invited to auction off dinner for ten with Bishop Stika at The Chop House. Given my experience, I hope I can get away with a joke or two about fasting and abstinence during Lent.

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Saturday, March 13, 2010

no bones about it

Jon Jefferson and Dr. Bill Bass start their publicity and book-signing tour for "The Bone Thief" in about a week. They fit me into their schedule one day last month to pre-record an interview that airs this week on the East Tennessee Report. You can download it as a podcast or listen to it by clicking on the "play" icon.

after recording the East Tennessee report on 2/24/10 The new book opens with the description of a dead news anchor. The fictional Maureen Gershwin worked at WBIR with a co-anchor named Randall Gibbons. From her physical description, I thought she might have been based on a real local anchor who planted a kiss on me at a charity function but I was wrong. She is mostly a figment of Jon Jefferson's imagination.

page 359 At the time we recorded the interview, Jefferson and Bass had not yet told WBIR's Russell Biven about the similarity between his name and that of the anchorman in the book. I saw John Becker the other day and told him that WBIR is featured in "The Bone Thief." I also didn't know until a couple of days ago that the authors had graciously mentioned my proofreading in the acknowledgments.

With the new novel about to come out, my Google alert for the Body Farm has been especially active lately. For example, one reviewer assumes, like most, that Dr. Bill Brockton is based on Dr. Bill Bass. I can tell you that Brockton is a lot more like Jefferson than Bass. Meanwhile, a local photographer posted a good picture on his blog of Dr. Bass during a slide show about the Big Bopper's exhumation.

In other decomposition news, Mesa State College has decided to not set up a temporary body farm near the intersection of 29 and D Roads. Instead they will continue searching for a more remote, permanent location. As one Colorado newspaper writer pointed out, the original Body Farm is within a mile of homes and within mere feet of the UT Medical Center parking lot.

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Saturday, March 06, 2010

aye, there's the rib

Thank goodness for the Internet. Without its streaming video, I would have missed seeing Dr. Bill Bass on "20/20." The founder of the Body Farm was interviewed about his testimony in a 2001 murder trial. Dr. Bass proved that the medical examiner was wrong and that a man accused of killing his cousin was innocent. Here's the segment in which Dr. Bass appears.


I saw Dr. Bass and his co-author Jon Jefferson recently. They came by to record our annual interview about their latest Body Farm novel. The newest one, "The Bone Thief," will be released on March 23. The radio program will air on March 14. As usual, Jefferson and Bass will be devoting a lot of time to book signing appearances where they are ably assisted by the devoted Bone Zones crew. A publicist from HarperCollins just sent me an updated list of appearances. The signings at Sam's Club and Kroger are not yet on their website.

Tuesday, March 23
7:00 PM
BORDERS
202 Morrell Road
Knoxville, TN 37919

Wednesday, March 24
7:00 PM
DAVIS-KIDD BOOKSELLERS
The Mall at Green Hills
2121 Green Hills Village Drive
Nashville, TN 37215

Thursday, March 25
7:00 PM
BOOKS-A-MILLION
310 S Illinois Avenue
Oak Ridge, TN 37830

Friday, March 26
6:00 PM
CARPE LIBRUM BOOKSELLERS
5113A Kingston Pike
Knoxville, TN 37919

Saturday, March 27
12:00 PM
SAM'S WHOLESALE CLUB
8435 Walbrook Drive
Knoxville, TN 37923

Saturday, March 27
3:00 PM
KROGER
5201 North Broadway
Knoxville, TN 37918

Monday, April 05
6:00 PM
ROCK POINT BOOKS
401 Broad Street
Chattanooga, TN 37402

Tuesday, April 06
7:00 PM
FOX TALE BOOK SHOPPE
105 E Main Street
Woodstock, GA 30188

Thursday, April 08
7:00 PM
BOOK MARK
299 Atlantic Boulevard
Atlantic Beach, FL 32233

Friday, April 09
7:30 PM
QUAIL RIDGE BOOKS
3522 Wade Avenue
Raleigh, NC 27607

Saturday, April 10
7:00 PM
MALAPROP'S BOOKSTORE/CAFE
55 Haywood Street
Asheville, NC 28801

Sunday, April 11
7:00 PM
BOOKS-A-MILLION
Johnson City Plaza
2116 N Roan Street
Johnson City, TN 37601

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Friday, February 26, 2010

taking action

At this month's meeting of the FBI Knoxville Citizens Academy Alumni Association, we voted to contact area middle schools and encourage the guidance counselors to instruct their students about the FBI-SOS Internet Challenge program. SOS stands for Safe Online Surfing.

In the program, kids learn how to be careful on the Internet by doing what they love, going online to find answers to scavenger hunt questions. Best of all the whole thing is free. Teachers and principals get started by following the instructions online. The site does not save the students' names, only the school administrators can match the child with their unique user name.

Each month, the school with the highest score in the country earns a trophy presented by the Special Agent in Charge of their local field office. Here's my question for you: Do you know any middle school employees or parents who would be willing to look at the FBI-SOS website and recommend it to their principal?

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

where there's a will

If Casey Kasem was around back in the heyday of classical music, and I'm not saying he wasn't, the orchestral pieces at the top of the pop chart would be my favorites. My tastes in the fine arts don't run very deep. I heard something I liked on WUOT the other day and wasn't the least bit surprised to discover that it was one of Beethoven's symphonies, I think they said it was the 4th. I also like stuff by Mozart and Tchaikovsky.

Tonight's performance by the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra featured a couple of pieces that anybody would recognize, classical fan or not. The theme of the program was "Shakespeare in Love," with music inspired by the works of the bard. The KSO once again provided free tickets to bloggers willing to write about their experience at the show.


I was happy to see Einstein Simplified alumnus Todd Covert and his wife Donna in the audience. Todd will be guest-blogging for our mutual friend Jacene's site. Since Jacene missed tonight's show, my wife suggested that I invite her to come to the Knoxville Choral Society concert on Saturday.

A small group of sopranos and altos from the Choral Society sang during the second half of tonight's show. They provided the voice of the chorus during selections from Mendelssohn's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." I had no idea until tonight that the opus includes the famous "Wedding March" we've all heard countless times. Four actors from the Clarence Brown Theatre performed some lines from Shakespeare's play while wearing different hats to represent the multiple characters they portrayed. Of the four, I was especially impressed and amused by David Kortemeier. He was clean-shaven in his publicity photo but had a beard on stage. My guess is that he grew it in preparation for his upcoming role as Don Quixote.

The best part of the concert came right before intermission. The orchestra played Tchaikovsky's "Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture." As promised by Maestro Lucas Richman, I could imagine both the swooning and the sword fights from the play. The program repeats Friday night at the historic Tennessee Theatre.

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

sun of a niche

Cassie is a fellow blogger and Twitterer who often takes the time to post comments on my blog entries. I hope she takes advantage of the free symphony tickets available to bloggers this week. She was the first person to make an online donation to my camera replacement fund and recently gave me some old souvenirs that made me very happy.

Perhaps Cassie remembers a 2007 post of mine about some plastic cups I got at Patrick Sullivan's. Or maybe she has discerned over the years that I wish I had visited Knoxville during the summer of 1982. Instead, I spent that summer working for free at a bankrupt little AM station in Herndon, Virginia.

Today my wife and I took the items from Cassie back to their roots. It was a beautiful day for a visit to World's Fair Park, where I posed with a commemorative dish and snow globe from the 1982 World's Fair.

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Saturday, February 20, 2010

obliging and dutiful

Richard Lambert, the Special Agent in Charge of the FBI's Knoxville field office, was previously assigned to head up the investigation into the anthrax attacks of 2001. The case was closed this past week, just three days after I had recorded a half hour interview with Mr. Lambert. We only briefly mentioned the case. I was more interested in asking about the window of opportunity to thwart the next terrorist attack on the United States. About halfway into the show, I segued into the topic of Internet crimes.

If you're interested in law enforcement, feel free to right click here and download the podcast of my interview with Rick Lambert or hit the play button below. If you're interested in a job with the FBI, skip ahead to 22 minutes into the program to hear about the Bureau's hiring spree.

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Thursday, February 18, 2010

is my soul prepared

Yesterday's Ash Wednesday post generated some reaction in my email box from a local mom:
I read on your blog about Beth's problem with the public school's attendance policy. I worked with a public school as the attendance secretary, which required entering the tardies, absences and excuses. I was told that the absence or tardy was black or white. You either were or you weren't. The excused or unexcused piece is where the religious holiday allowance would come. In other words, going to the orthodontist in the morning still makes you tardy but it is excused and not held against the child. Most perfect attendance awards do not take into account tardies. When my daughter took part in the Bishop's installation, all three of my children were excused from school -- but they were still absent.
After I had uploaded the blog entry, I watched the beginning of "Jimmy Kimmel Live" and noticed that both Guillermo and Cleto Sr. were proudly wearing their ashes on national television. Too bad Joe Biden's priest merely put a thumbprint on the vice-president's forehead instead of a bold cross like Guillermo and Cleto got.

My Facebook friend count dropped by one on Wednesday. A friend from church had posted that she was giving up Facebook for Lent. I didn't realize she was going to deactivate her account.

Fr. Ragan Schriver did not give up Facebook for Lent. He is fairly new to the social networking site and has been adding friends rapidly. It's not surprising to me. Whenever we meet for dinner at Trio Café, it is impossible to walk across Market Square without meeting several people who know Fr. Ragan.

I saw a post on Fr. Ragan's wall that is worth sharing here even though it involves one of my least favorite songs of all time. When I was general manager of the student radio station at George Mason University, it was a running joke how much I hated "King of Pain" by the Police. It was overplayed by the volunteer deejays who picked their own songs.

Someone shared a link to a "King of Pain" parody called "This Time of Forty Days." Obviously the comedy stems from the line "There's a little black spot on your head today." I was amused and will look for more material online from Catholic comedian Nick Alexander. Had I known about it, I could have used his "YMCA" parody a year ago when I sponsored a friend into the church.

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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

sacramental health

Fr. Ragan Schriver calls me an "out-of-the-closet Catholic." It's not that I'm doing anything differently than when I lived in Burbank, it's just that there are fewer Catholics in Knoxville, so my beliefs stand out from the crowd. Blog readers and radio listeners are aware of my faith, so it's no surprise that I would get an email like the following from someone I'll call "Beth."
Dear Frank,

I wanted to see how you felt about an issue that I seem to be having with the county schools. With it being Ash Wednesday, I wanted to take my children to get their ashes at morning Mass. A friend suggested I call the school to make sure that it wouldn't count against them, making them tardy. I thought for sure that it wouldn't, due to the fact it is a religious holiday. Well, I was wrong!!

First when I called the school, they had no idea what Ash Wednesday was, and didn't know how to handle my phone call. Then they passed me to the Assistant Superintendent. Well, she was no help either, asking what was Ash Wednesday and why couldn't we just go to a later Mass. I tried to tell her that the whole point was to wear your ashes all day. It isn't something you get and then go home, shower and go to bed. Then she tried to tell me it wasn't even on the calendar!!

Finally, without being able to give me an answer, she went to ask the Superintendent. When she got back, she said there was no way he would allow it. It would be marked as a tardy. At this, I was angry. How prejudiced toward us Catholics; how unfair that my children who have never been tardy this year are going to have it count against them, all because we are going to attend Mass.

I was furious. She told me that there was nothing in the county policy about excused tardiness due to a religious event. Then she told me she was sorry, you know the majority down here is Baptist not Catholic! I know that we could go to an evening Mass but that's not the point. You are SUPPOSED to get ashes in the morning and have them on your head all day as a symbol. I know that you are Catholic and I was wondering what your thoughts on this were. We are going to church at 9:00 a.m. and the kids will have to go to school late and just have it count against them.
I applaud Beth for standing up for her beliefs. I might have done the same thing if I had been in her position. In fact, I have opted out of an upcoming work-related event that conflicts with the Easter Triduum. Beth's email made me glad that my wife and I made some sacrifices to send our children to Catholic school from kindergarten through high school.

On the other hand, Ash Wednesday is not a holy day of obligation. It is actually more important for a Catholic to attend Sunday Mass. At All Saints, they must have realized that public school kids could not attend Mass until later in the day. The children's choir sang at the 5:00 p.m. service tonight. I think the public school could treat Beth's decision to take her children to Mass on Ash Wednesday the same as if they had an orthodontist appointment. They could count it as an excused absence.

Beth's email was on my mind as I attended the noon Mass at Sacred Heart Cathedral. I was struck by the seeming contradiction of today's gospel passage that instructed "wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden."

I got my ashes and wore them to my next appointments. I was reminded of my first day on the job at Comedy World, which also happened to fall on Ash Wednesday. I showed up with ashes on my head and laughed at the comments from Bobby Slayton and others.

Beth emailed me again this afternoon to say that her child's teacher tried to wipe off the ashes because she didn't know what they were. The child was smart enough and comfortable enough to stop the teacher and explain. Obviously she learned that from her mother.

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Monday, February 15, 2010

horse and carriage

The celebration of World Marriage Day at All Saints Church is a good deal. If a couple will mark a significant anniversary (1, 5, 10, 15, etc.) during the year, they are invited to a nice, sit-down dinner in the parish hall. My wife and I like it so much that we volunteer to be servers on the four years between our 0s and 5s. This year's event was held on Friday night.

The evening starts in the church with a blessing from the pastor. Fr. Michael Woods likes to ask the couples where they met. My wife and I got a few chuckles when we described our meeting in a night club called the Wax Museum under the figure of Neil Armstrong.

Photo proofs from this year's dinner are now online at Boppspot.com. The cakes shown in the first few shots were made by our friend Chris Kite. My wife and I were fortunate to end up sitting at the same table as Dr. Kelly Kearse and his wife Kathy. Dr. Kearse was my son's high school chemistry teacher and helped inspire his love of science. Before the night was through, I talked a little politics with Gary Loe, who has announced his candidacy for the state House seat being vacated by the headline-grabbing Stacey Campfield.

One of the couples in attendance will celebrate their 70th anniversary in 2010. Fr. Michael had them cut the cake and got the husband to sing a little bit of "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling." When it was time to get the dancing started, a Glenn Miller song came on and Fr. Michael grabbed my wife's hand and spun her around the floor a few times. Later, she and I danced some and tried to teach others the proper hand motions for "YMCA."

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Sunday, February 14, 2010

don't lose your head

It's important to back up your words with actions. That's why my wife and I did our part to support the transition of Taylor Swift from singer to actress. We braved the crowds at the Regal West Town Mall 9 to see "Valentine's Day" on Valentine's Day. It turns out that a lot of the people who were there came to watch the Daytona 500 on a theater screen while enjoying pizza and beer.

The movie wasn't as bad as I feared. I had heard that it was basically a two-hour "Love Boat" episode. It finished stronger than it started, which will help generate positive word-of-mouth. The biggest disappointment was the story line involving Julia Roberts. I felt like something got edited out, such as a plausible explanation for her quick trip to Los Angeles. I expected her to at least be on her way to a wedding or funeral. My favorite story threads were those with Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel and yes, Taylor Swift.

When the movie let out, we walked through the mall in search of a kiosk offering free samples of jAVERDE flavored coffee. My friend Lissa has suggested several times that I try it. Of the four I tasted, Shell Shock was the best. The clerk told me that they plan to open a store across from Food City on Middlebrook Pike in a space vacated by Bear Creek Coffee.

What's Valentine's Day without chocolate? Earlier in the day, my wife surprised me with a heart-shaped box of hand-dipped truffles that she bought from Belle's Sweet Boutique. The proprietor, Ann Douglas, is an acquaintance of hers. The candies are truffle-licious.

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Saturday, February 13, 2010

tell me ma

Fr. Michael Woods mentioned both Amy Brace and Ashley Reisser in his homily at the 5:00 p.m. Mass tonight. He told a beautiful story about Ashley's mother, who told him she hopes they never find the men who ran from the car that dragged her daughter. She imagines that they are probably scared and praying for Ashley's continued recovery.

Although we had originally planned on eating at home, my wife and I ended up going out to dinner after Mass. We went with my wife's mother and brother, who had stopped off on their way from Virginia to Georgia. They were here on Valentine's weekend last year too and we waited a long time to be seated at Mimi's Café.

This year, I chose a place where the tables would turn over fairly quickly. We went to Hard Knox Pizzeria and used a gift certificate that I had purchased for half price (plus service charge) from the radio station's website. It's a place I've wanted to try since I first heard of it last year.

Fr. Michael was able to join us for dinner before having to head back to All Saints to give a blessing at the Mardi Gras dance which benefits Catholic Charities of East Tennessee. I asked him about Vols coach Derek Dooley, whose parents were parishioners of Fr. Michael's during his days in Athens. He said he had received a response from the coach, who indicated he would bring his parents by the church when they visit Knoxville. As the conversation turned to other topics, Fr. Michael mentioned that there is an old YouTube video of him singing at a biker bar. Why? It was to raise money for the Ulster Project.

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

school shooting

The talk at church tonight, as it has been all throughout Knoxville today, was yesterday's shooting of the principal and assistant principal of Inskip Elementary School. The members of All Saints Church were especially concerned since assistant principal Amy Brace is the daughter of fellow parishioners Jim and Connie Brace. Dr. Jim Brace is the associate dean of the College of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Tennessee.

One of the choir members prepared special "prayer blankets" for the two victims. The blanket is a symbol of the prayers being offered by church members. The people on the prayer chain at All Saints had heard some possible details of the attack. Assuming their information is accurate, it sounds like Amy Brace is lucky to be alive. They report that she has a through-and-through gunshot wound on her forearm and that a bullet grazed her scalp without penetrating her skull. One parishioner wondered if Amy's arm slowed or deflected the bullet enough to keep it out of her brain.

Principal Elisa Luna's injuries are more serious. Countless prayers are being offered for her recovery too.

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Monday, February 08, 2010

on fire!

David Letterman and Jay Leno get all the attention but the best gig in television may actually belong to Regis Philbin. The hours aren't bad and he gets to work with a great co-host, Kelly Ripa. Philbin was born a year before my father and has been on the air since before I was born. Like my parents, he is from The Bronx. In fact, he went to the same high school as two of my uncles.

This morning I got to live out a little bit of my Regis fantasy right here in Knoxville. Two months ago when I was a guest on "Eleven O'clock Rock," the producers at Knoxivi told me that co-host Brent Thompson would be taking a few days off when his wife delivered their baby. They offered me the opportunity to fill in as one of their guest co-hosts. I got the call last week that today would be the day.

It was an absolute pleasure to work with Lauren Lazarus, who made things very easy for me. She was willing to go along with my idea for a cold open that referenced couple of yesterday's Super Bowl ads, especially the commercial for Snickers.



The show streams live each weekday at 11:00 a.m. To view today's episode in the archives, go to http://knoxivi.com/eleven/ and click on Monday and then on 02/08/2010. You can also get information about the show on Facebook and Twitter.

The musical guest was Davis Mitchell from the band Dishwater Blonde. He performed some of his solo material, which had a nice Christian feel to it. Mitchell is a music minister at Knoxlife Church, which usually meets at Remedy Coffee in the Old City.

During the show, I got to interview Jeff Joslin, who directed the movie I was in last year. We talked about how Jeff got "Fish Bait" off the ground and how he is writing a sequel. Before the show ended, Jeff texted me and offered up a special link for viewers to buy the DVD and soundtrack for only ten bucks.



Jeff told me that he and his New York-based pals plan to make another spoof music video soon. He recently posted an amusing parody of Jordin Sparks' "No Air" on YouTube. It's about a follically challenged man and it's called (you guessed it) "No Hair."

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Saturday, February 06, 2010

go or geaux?

Although it really doesn't matter to me who wins the Super Bowl, I do want to pick a team and root for them tomorrow. I like both the Colts and the Saints and will have to dig a little deeper to find a preference.

The Colts are especially popular in Knoxville because of Peyton Manning. My friends outside Tennessee might not realize that he is a former UT Volunteer. In addition to all his national endorsements, he turns up on local TV in commercials for Mercy Health Partners. I am impressed with the star quarterback's ability, even if he is a little OCPD.

The City of Indianapolis also has something going for it in my book. One of the boxes in my basement contains the key to the city. Don & Mike and I each received a key when we did a remote broadcast from Indy at the invitation of then-mayor William Hudnut.

Although it has been many years, the Colts lose some points for the way they abandoned Baltimore. They should have left their name and colors behind like the Browns did when they ditched Cleveland. Instead of becoming the Ravens, the old Browns should now be the Colts.

The storyline of the Saints is appealing to me. I like that they were one of the last five teams to have never reached a Super Bowl. Their dedicated fans have been waiting a long time to win a championship. It's almost like the Red Sox or Cubs winning the World Series.

I've been to New Orleans a few times for the Morning Show Boot Camp convention and absolutely loved it. I like going to the Acme Oyster House and getting on their webcam. I love the Bananas Foster at Brennan's and just about anything étouffée at just about any restaurant in the French quarter.

So who's it going to be? Do I cheer for Peyton, whose work ethic and incredible ability I respect and admire? Or do I go with the feel-good story of New Orleans? Maybe I'll think about it tomorrow morning while I'm waiting for Mass to begin at All Saints Church. Hmmm... maybe I just decided.

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Friday, February 05, 2010

tell me why

Congratulations to Brent Thompson and his wife who had their baby yesterday. Brent is co-host of Eleven O'clock Rock, the daily streaming video show that emanates from Market Square.

The baby's birth didn't sneak up on them. When I was a guest on the show in December, Brent and co-host Lauren Lazarus said I could fill in for him one day while he was on paternity leave. Turns out they weren't just being nice. I got the call from Jessie Greene, one of the directors, asking if I could be the guest co-host on Monday.

They were still in the process of booking guest for the show. In addition to a musical performer, they wanted somebody for the "Movie Monday" segment. I unabashedly offered up "Fish Bait" director Jeff Joslin, who will join us via Skype at 11:27 a.m.

If you can arrange your schedule to be downtown between 11 a.m. and 12 noon on Monday, c'mon by and get some food at The Lunchbox, which shares space with the studio. Otherwise you can watch "Eleven O'clock Rock" at knoxivi.com.

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Sunday, January 31, 2010

fight to life

Father Michael Woods commented on the influence of social media during his homily at today's 11:45 Mass at All Saints Church. He had just returned from visiting Ashley Reisser and her family at UT Medical Center. The Maryville High School senior was critically injured in a wreck on an icy Pellissippi Parkway last night.

The story in the Knoxville News Sentinel spells out some of the horrific details. Ashley and her friends got out of her car after a fender bender, as did the driver of the other vehicle. Two other cars, a Mitsubishi and a Honda, also slid on the ice and collided with each other. The cars in the second crash hit Ashley and her friends and then hit the other driver from the first crash as he tried to help the girls. The red Mitsubishi drove away. The men in the Honda got out and ran. Knoxville Police are looking for a red Mitsubishi Eclipse with Tennessee license plate 825-SQP. It should have a broken left rear taillight and damage to the passenger side.

I first heard about the wreck from Ashley's brother-in-law, who is a good friend of mine. I was his RCIA sponsor last Easter. He is a parishioner at Sacred Heart Cathedral and needed to know how to contact a priest at All Saints, where the Reissers go. I texted Fr. Michael Woods, who was able to visit the hospital after the 8:15 Mass.

I told Fr. Michael about a Facebook page that had sprung up overnight. By 10:30 a.m., 1,578 members had joined the group "Pray for Ashley Reisser and everyone involved in the wreck." As of this writing, the membership has climbed to 3,881. Fr. Michael mentioned the group in his homily and told how the family was touched by the outpouring of prayers online.

Some reporters from WATE saw my prayer requests on Twitter and Facebook and asked me to put them in touch with the family. The story just aired on tonight's 11:00 p.m. news. A reporter from The Daily Times in Maryville posted her phone number on the Facebook wall, inviting family members to call her for a story to be in Monday's paper.

I was impressed by the "retweets" of the prayer requests. Some were by a morning deejay at a Christian radio station and one was by an outfit called Prayer Network. At least two others helped spread the word too.

The family members have posted some encouraging news on Facebook. Her sister wrote that Ashley probably should not have survived the crash but instead is showing some improvement. Although Ashley has a fractured skull and several other broken bones, doctors are optimistic for her recovery. The power of prayer is strong.

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

snow leopard

Abby Ham realized the problem right away. She knew some blog readers will mistakenly assume I have a shoe fetish. However her choice of footwear on a cold, slushy day makes it worth the risk.



Abby and her husband stopped by while I was working at the radio station's booth at the Healthy Living Expo. One of the first things she said was that she had worn the wrong shoes for the weather. I told her about the last three times the shoes of local news anchors had appeared on my blog. She agreed that it would still be funny to add her pumps to my online collection.



Of all the supermarkets in Knoxville, it made sense that Earth Fare would be the one with a booth at the Healthy Living Expo. I tried several of their free samples, including coffee from the Vienna Coffee Company in Maryville and chocolate milk from Cruze Farm in Knoxville.

One of the last things you might expect to see at the Healthy Living Expo would be a group of zombies. However when the familiar notes of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" played over the speakers, the zombies literally crawled out from under the tables. One or two of them grabbed my legs as they crawled to the stage where they did an outstanding job of replicating the dance from the music video.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

audio killed the video star

The digital TV transition last year prompted me to put a WiFi clock radio on my Christmas wish list. I wanted a way to listen to news during the 4:00 a.m. hour, which I used to do when WATE's analog signal could be heard on 87.7 FM. I now wake up to WTOP from Washington, DC.

When I have a few extra minutes, I've been scouring through the source codes for two radio stations' websites hoping to find a hidden URL that will work on my Sanyo device. I got 101.5 FM The Music Place to stream successfully but not WINC-FM. I will keep trying because WINC is my station of choice in Northern Virginia.

I have also been adding more stations and podcasts to the subfolders on my radio via Reciva.com. As I was scrolling through the thousands of available choices, I noticed that the TV audio streams from CNN and MSNBC are available.

Because I've heard that WiMAX is in our future and that we will all have Internet radio in our cars someday, I think it would be a good idea for local television stations to offer streaming audio of their newscasts. I could easily fall back into my old habit of listening to WATE. A local gospel station simulcasts WVLT's noon news, which is good if I happen to be in the car during those 25 minutes. WBIR has a cable channel called 10News2 that repeats their most recent newscast until the next one comes along. I think its audio would be ideal for Internet streaming. Who's with me?

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Monday, January 25, 2010

heck of a job, brownie

Chef Walter is a favorite of mine. I try to watch his daily cooking segment as often as possible on the noon news. Several of his recipes have even inspired me to write blog posts, most recently the egg nog cake. Because I like him, I'm a little sorry to throw him under the bus for today's segment. However, I think that broadcasters can learn from it. The lesson is how not to interview kids.

Kids can be great interviewees because of their honesty. Google Art Linkletter if you need proof. Because they may not have their BS generators turned on yet, they can't be expected to fill in the blanks. When you ask a child a yes or no question, you'll get a yes or no answer.

Today's recipe looked promising. Who wouldn't want to try brownies with Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies mixed in? An actual Girl Scout stood alongside Chef Walter while he mixed the ingredients. It would have been nice if he had let her stir or at least pour something into the bowl but he did not.

At one point, he almost asked a question that did not require a yes or no answer and then changed it! He said, "Tell me about... I understand there's at least one new cookie this year, is that right?" She said, "Yes." After an awkward pause, Walter asked, "What is that cookie?" The girl replied, "It's the Thank U Berry Munch and it tastes like..." Walter cut her off and said "I just wanted to hear her say it, I knew that already. Say that again, Thank U Berry Munch is that right?"

Chef Walter also failed to answer the number one question on my mind. Would the recipe work with Samoas?

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

to blog or not to blog

Have Twitter and Facebook taken the spotlight away from blogs? My friend Bean, for example, gave up his blog in favor of Twitter. However, several blog writers use Facebook or Twitter as a way to disseminate links to their latest blog entries.

Once again, the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra has a nice treat for those of us who have stood by our blogs. They are offering a pair of tickets to their "Shakespeare in Love" concert on Thursday, February 25th in exchange for a blog entry about the experience. Tweets and Facebook status updates don't count. To qualify, blogs must be public and must be updated at least once a month.

The program promises to be a fun one to write about. It features actors from the Clarence Brown Theatre reciting lines from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" as the orchestra plays Mendelssohn’s work. Women from the Knoxville Chamber Chorale will sing during that piece as well.

Even those with very little exposure to classical music will recognize parts of the "Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture" by Tchaikovsky. I remember it from a TV commercial for a record album that ran repeatedly on New York television when I was young.

Bloggers who feel they are up to the challenge can contact Stephanie Burdette with the URL to their blog. It would also be nice if you share the link to this post with your friends who might be interested. You can go ahead and use Twitter or Facebook for that.

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Sunday, January 17, 2010

become a fan

The rebuilt Weigel's on Fox Lonas Road has been open about a month. It's been at least that long since I went in and took pictures on my way home from the roast of Fr. Ragan Schriver. I know from past experience that they offer deep discounts on milk and gasoline during their official grand opening celebrations. As a result, I was excited to hear that this past Wednesday was finally the day.

I had been meaning to stop off at any Weigel's for a few days prior. My wife had filled out an application for their new Rewards Card and I was supposed to drop it off as soon as I found our old paper card, which I had given to my daughter while she was in town and hadn't put back in my wallet right away. The clerk at Weigel's told my wife that the milk purchases represented by the punched-out holes on the paper version would be credited to the fancy new electronic card. Once I buy 16 gallons of milk, the 17th is free.

On my way home from work on Wednesday, I took a slight detour to the new store. I saw a large inflatable Blue Rhino and a vehicle from a competing radio station. I thought that maybe I could get in and get out quickly and quietly. Not so much.

I parked in front of the store and took my Rewards Card application inside. I wanted to turn in the form, buy some skim milk and top off my gas tank. In order to put both purchases on the same credit card transaction, I had to go back outside and pump the gas before buying the milk. My conversation with the sales clerk drew the attention of Kurt Weigel, who kindly remembered me from my remote broadcast at a different store in his chain.

I chatted with Kurt about the two types of ice at the new store and how my wife prefers crushed ice in her Diet Pepsi with a little Diet Coke mixed in. I asked if he would be offering any sort of coffee refill program like his main competitor does. He said it would probably be included on the new Rewards Card in the future. I also dropped a hint that he should put some coupons on Facebook like they do.

Because I was off from work yesterday, the hunt was on for free coffee. With apologies to my new pal Kurt, I did go to Pilot and use the coupons I got from their Facebook page. Three times.

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