Tuesday, July 31, 2007

where in the world was

The cross-country drive is one of the great American experiences. My most recent road trip was a perfect complement to the cross-country trip we made five years ago this week. That's when my family and I packed the car in Burbank and drove to Knoxville to start a new chapter of our life. I had been living alone for three months in the Windrush Apartments, a location which was unfortunately mentioned in the news last week.

Instead of taking I-40 straight east from Barstow, I convinced my wife that we should take I-70 because it would bring me through more states that I had not yet visited. We saw the World's Tallest Thermometer on our way to spend the first night of our trip in Las Vegas. The natural scenery was spectacular, especially through Utah and the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Our most memorable scenery in Kansas was more unnatural. We stopped off at Prairie Dog Town to see the six-legged cow and we took a slight detour to see the World's Largest Ball of Twine in Cawker City. In Missouri, we toured Mark Twain's boyhood home in Hannibal. As our trip neared its end, we took a rest stop in Metropolis, Illinois, to see the giant Superman statue.



Before I forget, let me say thanks to Weird Ralph for submitting my blog entry with the photos from last week's trip to Digg.com.

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Monday, July 30, 2007

where in the world isn't

Traveling opens many possibilities yet it's impossible to explore them all. Last night my wife, our son and I got home from a great road trip that rivaled our 2002 drive from Burbank to Knoxville. On this journey, we passed through 15 states in a big circle stretching from the Mississippi River to the Great Lakes to the Atlantic Ocean. Whenever we crossed a state border, we tried to stop at the official welcome center to get a free road map. I enjoyed looking at the racks of brochures for the countless tourist attractions in each area. With only 8 days to cover over 3,000 miles, there was no way we could see everything. We drove right past and would have gone to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame if it hadn't already closed by the time we got there. Moose out front should have told us. It's funny to me that a place built to celebrate rock and roll closes at 5:30 p.m. (except Wednesdays). Isn't that about the time most rock stars are waking up? I collected some brochures in case I can ever revisit those states. Here are just a few of the other places I would have enjoyed seeing:

Pro Football Hall of Fame
Wyandot Popcorn Museum
National Baseball Hall of Fame
The Mark Twain House
The Barnum Museum

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

where in the world is

Here's a little game we can play. Take a look at these pictures from my family's just completed 3,000 mile road trip. Try to identify these landmarks we visited as well as the city and state they're in. Post your answers in the comments section. Don't be anonymous, I hate that. Choose "other" instead. You can also print the page and have your kids write their guesses in the space provided. I will delay publishing the guesses until someone gets all five right. Tell us if you knew the answers on your own or if you "cheated" by looking them up on RoadsideAmerica.com.

1) ______________________________

2) ______________________________

3) ______________________________

4) ______________________________

5) ______________________________

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Saturday, July 28, 2007

missed it by that much

With each passing day, avoiding Harry Potter information has become slightly more difficult. When we stopped at highway rest areas on Thursday, it was tempting to pick up a USA Today and read the front page interview with J.K Rowling. Fortunately the headline warned that the article would reveal Harry's fate. We decided to wait and read the interview online after finishing the book. During my limited time on the Internet this week, I've been careful not to click on any news stories about Potter or Rowling. Instead of turning on the radio, we've been listening to the audio book. We're now up to chapter 32, which means we should finish the story tomorrow. I did allow my favorite radio station to break through my media embargo. Since we were within range, I could not resist the urge to tune in to WLNG in the hope that Paul Sidney would be doing a remote broadcast on "92 point fun" in glorious mono. I knew that there was virtually no chance of hearing a mention of Harry Potter on their air.

It was not the media that penetrated our cone of silence. We had a visit with some friends of the family tonight. They have all finished reading the book. Before dinner my wife and I were still early in chapter 31. One of the friends deadpanned, "Oh has (blank) died yet?" I think he was only kidding but the very fact that he joked about it tells me that (blank) probably won't die in the book, thereby spoiling the ending a little. After everyone left, my wife and I listened to the rest of chapter 31. Of all the characters in jeopardy during that chapter, we knew which one was safe. If you're going to joke about the ending of a Harry Potter book, at least make it completely implausible.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

back breast fly free

One of the tidbits of trivia I picked up on my recent road trip involves swimming and college graduation. A few prestigious universities require students to pass a swim test during their four years of study. I don't mean this as a slight on my fine alma mater, but I had never heard of this before. Recently more and more colleges that had the swim test are dropping it. An editorial in the student newspaper at the University of Chicago defended the practice:
Besides its implications for the University, the swim test is a crucial part of student life. It forces us to pick up an eminently practical skill on a campus where the teaching of such skills sometimes seems lacking. According to the National Center of Health Statistics, around 4,000 people die of drowning in the United States every year. To put approximately $175,000 worth of education into developing a young mind that doesn't know enough to save itself when a day at the beach suddenly goes sour is enough to make an econ major scream. The benefits far outweigh the costs of facing the irritating prospect of finishing a full course load and still needing to know how to crawl stroke in order to leave Hyde Park with a degree.
Most of the students get the test over with shortly after freshman orientation. Some procrastinate until the last possible moment, meaning their graduation literally hinges on whether or not they can swim 100 yards without stopping. A tour guide at one college repeated a story about the swim test happening at the behest of a mourning parent whose college student child drowned in a nearby river. The story turned out to be an urban legend even if the swimming requirement is very real.

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

port out, starboard home

Technically the Devil Dog was free, a gift from Rich, an employee on the Bridgeport to Port Jefferson ferry. However, the boat ride to get the free Devil Dog cost $61 for our car and passengers to ride across Long Island Sound tonight. It would have been cheaper to drive from Bridgeport to Port Jefferson but it was worth it to be able to skip 47 miles of road and to avoid driving through New York City. Since we were in the area, it was no surprise that one of the other cars on the ferry belonged to an avid Mets fan.



Rich spotted me taking pictures of the Linden's Cookies and Drake's Cakes available for sale at his snack bar. Both brands reminded me of childhood. I've mentioned my weakness for Devil Dogs before. When I was in seventh and eight grades, lunch at the school cafeteria always came with a package of three Linden's Chocolate Chip cookies. Rich asked why I was photographing his snacks. I'm not sure he believed me when I said the photos were for the Internet.



A poster aboard the ferry promised complimentary WiFi access from some outfit called Optimum Online. Naturally, I got the laptop out of the car and fired it up. My browser opened to the Optimum page and wanted a password. I asked Jen the purser for the complimentary WiFi password. She was very kind but regretted to inform me that the "free" WiFi is only available to paying customers of this Optimum company, a local ISP. Tourists like me need not apply. Jen then returned to reading chapter 32 of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." Earlier in the week I had much better luck with the WiFi offered by the New York State Thruway. The service is available in the rest areas but I guess it's not really free either since the Thruway is a toll road. Another ferry employee was watching all this transpire. Not wanting to have him feel left out, I snapped one last photo of the man with the name tag that read "Able Seaman."

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

driving Miss Dursley

The goal is to finish "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" before seeing or hearing any spoilers online or over the air. For the past few days I have limited my exposure to live media. It’s been fairly easy to do because I am traveling with my wife and son. I was supposed to read the book as soon as my son finished it. My wife would get it next. That was until she came up with a better idea while we were passing through the small town of Anna, Illinois. If we bought the audio book, we could listen to it in the car while we drove. The first store we saw that we thought would have the discs in stock was Wal-Mart. We eagerly grabbed one of the two CD sets they had on the shelf. It will take 21 hours to listen to the whole book. At least we still have a lot of driving ahead of us. I think we're on chapter 21 right now. I'm not sure because I may have dozed off as it got late tonight. This is my first experience with any of the Potter audio books, all of which have been read by actor Jim Dale.

Dale does a fine job on the narration part. For the dialogue, he takes on a slightly different voice for each of the characters, giving them fairly strong British accents. I like his Hagrid voice best because it sounds most like the actor from the movies. Of course almost anyone can do a decent Hagrid impression. Try saying the line, "You’re a wizard, Harry!" Dale's female voices take some getting used to. As minor characters and wizened old witches, he sounds good. However he makes poor Luna Lovegood sound like she is mentally challenged. Dolores Umbridge sounds like Mrs. Doubtfire. And Hermione gets the worst of it. Obviously she has more lines than any other female. Dale uses a half-whisper with an ever so slight hint of a speech impediment for her voice. There is one particular word that is the most annoying. Unfortunately for the listener, that word happens to be "Harry." The way Dale says it as Hermione, it comes out more like "Haweee!"

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

hankerin' for some doughnuts

Hank Aaron’s longstanding home run record is about to be broken by Barry Bonds. When Hammerin’ Hank turned 70 a few years ago, I was working at an oldies station. A story about Hank in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution gave me an idea. According to the article, Hank made an early morning stop every day at the Krispy Kreme franchise he owns. We would call the doughnut shop and wish Hank a happy birthday. Each morning during the week of his birthday we called the Krispy Kreme and asked for Hank. Each morning we missed him by a few minutes. Fortunately for me, the employees who answered the phone had great personalities. Click here to listen to an edited montage of the phone calls and the ultimate payoff when we tried calling one of the car dealerships Hank owns.

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Monday, July 23, 2007

getting ink

Sunday's paper has a nice little write up about Einstein Simplified, Knoxville's comedy improv troupe. Over the five years that I've been in the group, we've gotten lots of publicity, including an article in the Metro Pulse, one in CityView magazine and some great coverage on WBIR. As wonderful as all those are, it still feels good to be recognized in the Sunday paper.

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

all are welcome in this place

The new parish in the diocese is a few weeks old. On Saturday evening, my wife and I went to Mass at St. Albert the Great Parish on Brickey Lane in North Knoxville. All they have so far is a lot of land and a house that serves as the rectory. Mass was held in a downstairs room that could someday make a nice TV room for the priests. The music director recognized my cantor wife and asked if we were moving to the new parish. No, we were only visiting. We wanted to see the property and say hi to their new pastor, Fr. Chris Michelson, who was also the founding pastor of All Saints Catholic Church. Fr. Chris was the celebrant. The deacon was Patrick Murphy-Racey, who recently returned from a round trip to Alaska by motorcycle. He rode about 500 miles a day as a fund raiser for a school in Haiti. The journey is chronicled on his blog. He has now visited all 50 states. How cool. I still have 15 to go. The St. Albert church bulletin (PDF file) lists the number of registered families as 150 after only three weeks. Of those, 46 came from All Saints; 38 from Holy Ghost; 30 from Immaculate Conception; 11 from St. Therese; 8 from Sacred Heart Cathedral; 7 from St. Joseph; 4 from John XXIII and 6 from "other." Inside, Fr. Chris outlines his five priorities for building the new parish community. On the front of the bulletin, a short biography of St. Albert reports that he was a student and teacher of alchemy, chemistry and botany and that "using his knowledge of science, he was an accomplished and sought-after magician."

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

the need for speed reading

Don't say anything about the new Harry Potter book. I'm going to start reading it as soon as my son is done with the copy he got at midnight last night. I may try to get started early if I can pry it away while he's sleeping. More than one blog reader was fooled by Thursday's post. A friend emailed to say that his daughter thought I had an advance copy of the J.K. Rowling tome. To avoid spoilers, I'm going on a self-imposed media semi-blackout for the next few days. I will still write a blog entry daily but there may be a delay in getting them posted to the web. Please bear with me.

While my son and wife braved the crowds at Barnes & Noble, my daughter bought her copy of "The Deathly Hallows" at a CVS near her. She said that she was one of a grand total of three Potter fans getting their books at midnight. I've been borrowing my daughter's camera since mine broke. As a result we have no photos from CVS but we do have some from Barnes & Noble.

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Friday, July 20, 2007

four course meal

The Taylor Farms bagged salad at Sam's Club is normally excellent. Our family goes through salad fast enough that I can buy two three-pound bags and a bag of the broccoli I like without any fear of it going bad before we use it. I was surprised and disappointed by the two bags of salad that I bought on Monday. As usual, I rifled through the packages looking for the ones with the most distant expiration date. I found several that expire on July 24, which was, at the time, over a week away. The label promises that the greens are "triple hydrowashed." Well, mine may have been hydrowashed but they were not "hydrodryed." The salad in both bags was soaking wet, which caused the lettuce to wilt. Being too cheap to throw it out, I ate the wilted salad after using a paper towel to soak up the excess water. For my next shopping trip, I went across the parking lot to buy a three-pound bag of Fresh Express salad at Wal-Mart. At that store the broccoli comes on the stalk instead of in a BreatheWay bag. When I got home, I cut a little bit off the end of the stalks and put them in a container of water like you would do with fresh flowers, except that I put the container in the fridge. Another time I used the same technique to revitalize some broccoli that had started to get rubbery. We slice up the stalk and add it to our salads.

Speaking of things at Sam's, I thought the original selling point of Pringles was that they wouldn't get broken in their cans. I wonder why they now put them in bags.



Can raw scallops really get cooked by sitting in lime juice? I saw Ingrid Hoffman make some ceviche on a talk show recently. I found the actual video clip of it on her website. Curious about the process she described, I looked it up. A Washington Post article explained that the acid in the lime juice has the same effect on the meat as cooking.

For dessert, I recommend a faux ice cream sandwich. It was a year ago when my daughter suggested we try making root beer floats with frozen fat free whipped topping. At the time, I found a website with the idea for placing frozen whipped topping between two graham crackers. I didn't get around to trying it until a couple of weeks ago. It was just okay until I figured out that I should use a chocolate graham cracker and that I should leave the sandwich in the freezer for a week. The graham cracker softens up and takes on the texture of a real ice cream sandwich. I grabbed a handful of Ziploc bags and made a batch to share with the family. I used one whole container of frozen fat free whipped topping and one of the three sleeves of graham crackers in the box.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

deathly hallow's eve

An advance copy of the eagerly anticipated book arrived in the mail at work yesterday. I've enjoyed the writers' earlier books and will get a thrill from reading the new one before everyone else. However I won't be posting any of the pages on the Internet. The cover looks a little bit different than the one that will be available in stores. A small circle on the front contains the words "advance reader's edition, not for sale." On the back, there's a box with the heading "Marketing Campaign." The publisher promises a national broadcast and print media campaign, a 25 city radio campaign and a 6 city author tour with stops in Atlanta, Baltimore, Knoxville, Nashville, Phoenix and Washington, DC. The title is splashed across the front in red: "Beyond the Body Farm." It's the nonfiction sequel to "Death's Acre" by Dr. Bill Bass and Jon Jefferson. The new book has a chapter on the recent autopsy of the Big Bopper. The press release that came with the book offers a tidbit to entice potential interviewers. Dr. Bass has been asked to exhume and examine Harry Houdini.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

friendly neighborhood turtle-man

Turtles and tortoises were the true stars of a documentary on PBS last night. I saw a blurb about the show on the Pop Candy blog and was able to set my TiVo before going out for the evening. The film moves slowly, as you might expect from something turtle related. "The Chances of the World Changing" follows a New York writer whose life unravels as he tries to care for 1,200 turtles and tortoises. He and the turtles get pressured to move out of his Manhattan apartment and his deal to buy land in New Jersey falls through. He had hoped to build an institute for the preservation of his beloved turtles, many of which were endangered species. He began his difficult journey when he saved a turtle from being made into soup at a Chinese restaurant. Ultimately he realizes that he cannot keep his huge collection together and he has to find new homes for the turtles. I learned from the documentary that there is a Turtle Survival Alliance. This TSA has its annual conference next week in Atlanta.

During my first year in Knoxville, I was invited to see the turtle collection of a local lawyer and his wife. As I recall, the husband was also a metal sculptor and the wife was an actress. They eventually moved downtown and donated their turtles to the same facility in Sevierville where I went last year to see some rescued baby sliders. More recently some friends from church have invited me to see their turtles. We need to find a mutually convenient time for me to bring a camera and take some photos for the blog.

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

not bird nor plane nor even frog

Many great cartoons have been made into bad live-action films. You can probably think of three or more right off the top of your head. I want to hate the new "Underdog" movie, I really do. Jason Lee's voice is ideally suited for "My Name is Earl" but not for the nerdy Underdog and Shoeshine Boy. The cartoon version was perfect as it was. Since I was in the mood to hear Wally Cox again, I used my TiVo to search for some old episodes but couldn't find any.

My nose was turned up in haughty disapproval at the first trailer for the "Underdog" movie. Now my head is tilted like a curious dog when the newer trailer comes on. The reason for my increased interest is the rock cover version of the "Underdog" theme used in the trailer. I don't know if the song is by the B.H. Surfers or not (I think that's what the band was called on the old WHFS) but it is somewhat similar to their cover of the tune, which was on a 1995 CD called "Saturday Morning Cartoons' Greatest Hits." A YouTuber has taken the Surfers' song and put it with clips of the classic cartoon. While I was on YouTube, I found several episodes of the old show to satisfy my "Underdog" jones. Or I suppose I could just pre-order the DVDs.

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Monday, July 16, 2007

never too late to have beautiful skin

Thanks to Frank Strovel for pointing out that Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood are bringing their two man improv show to the Tennessee Theatre on Sunday, October 21. Colin was a regular and Brad was a frequent guest star on the great show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

I am curious how the cities were chosen for the Colin & Brad tour. Did they look for college towns? Or is there a chance that they picked Knoxville because our local improv group is usually at the top of the worldwide Improvisation Top 50?

Speaking of local improv, the footage of Einstein Simplified that I mentioned a week ago was supposed to be on TV at 11:30 tonight and subsequent Mondays. Some unexpected production delays kept it from airing last week. If the Victoria Principal infomercial that's on right now is any indication, there must have been more unforeseen delays. At least now I know whatever happened to Jules Asner.

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

wondered whatever became of

Many average Americans found their ticket to fame on so-called "reality" shows. I prefer the term "unscripted" because there's not much that's real about them. It wasn't long before the semi-famous and formerly famous jumped on the bandwagon as a means of extending their own celebrity. "Back to the Grind," a new unscripted show on TV Land puts actors and actresses in the actual jobs their TV characters portrayed. I read about the show in a post on TV Squad, which provided links to some clips from it. I watched a ten minute segment in which Loni Anderson, who played the receptionist on "WKRP in Cincinnati," spends a day working at real radio stations.

In the show, Loni visited three Los Angeles stations. It was nice to see some studios I knew, but I think it would have made for better television if the producers had sent her to Ohio. Coincidentally, a station there has a name similar to WKRP. Imagine the hilarity of Loni Anderson answering the phones at WKRC in Cincinnati.

The episode must have been filmed at least a year ago. Loni started her day at KZLA, which changed its name and format last summer. In one scene, she brought coffee to a meeting between then-program director R.J. Curtis and and his staff, including morning host Peter Tilden. Peter is now back at KABC, hosting "America's Earliest Morning Show." Later, Loni went across the hall to Power 106 to learn some hip-hop lingo. While Loni reported on traffic conditions, a camera in front of the radio station's building was pointed down W. Olive Avenue and clearly showed St. Finbar church, my former parish. In the evening, Loni reported for duty at KROQ to screen calls for the long-running syndicated program "Loveline." She was greeted by producer Ann Wilkins, who looked like she was doing well. I'm glad the experience of having to share an office with me all those years ago didn't affect Ann adversely.

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

eighth wonder of the world

Rather than sit in weekend traffic through Sevierville and Pigeon Forge, I opted to take a more scenic route from Morristown to Gatlinburg today. I drove south on I-81 to I-40 and headed east, where I picked up U.S. Route 321 in Cocke County. I was only passing through and did not see anything unusual. It was probably a greater distance than if I had taken exit 407 but I got to keep moving and see a less developed side of the Smokies. Along the way, I enjoyed some hyper-local radio. One AM station had some great cheesy jingles and frequent weather reports between their moldy oldies. A local FM station was in the middle of a four-hour remote from a client. Both reminded me a little of my favorite station, WLNG in Sag Harbor, New York.

My wife and I had been invited to a wedding and reception in Gatlinburg. The wedding was at St. Mary Catholic Church and the reception was at Lineberger's Seafood Company. The bride is a fourth grade teacher. During the reception, she read aloud from some essays her students had written on the topic "How to Be a Good Husband." One young girl wrote, "if your wife ever wants anything, buy it for her."

As I looked out from the restaurant balcony at the crowded sidewalks and shops below, I was reminded of a recent Metro Pulse article by an intern making her first trip to Pigeon Forge. A new tourist attraction is being built next door to the restaurant. It's the third location of the Hollywood Wax Museum. They also have one in Branson and one in Hollywood. I went into the museum in Hollywood when my friend Pam Baker and I were scouting possible locations for Mark & Brian's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. As it turned out, their star was placed right by the museum. The new Gatlinburg wax museum has a gigantic likeness of King Kong to grab the attention of visitors. During the wedding reception, I tried to surreptitiously take a photo of the bride and groom with King Kong in the background. Ultimately it was just easier to ask them to pose for the blog.

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Friday, July 13, 2007

then God said, "let there be evolution"

Russell Biven's face stared back at me from the free magazine rack at Wal-Mart. I had reached down to grab a Metro Pulse from the middle of the stack when I saw Russell and his wife on the cover of the premiere issue of Tennessee Christian Living magazine. The two page profile focuses on Russell's family, faith and career. I hope the magazine eventually puts its content online. They would get a lot of page hits from posting the photos that accompany the article, especially the one of the "Live at Five" team in their Halloween costumes. Russell is dressed as Mr. Incredible, Beth Haynes is Wonder Woman and Todd Howell is Robin, the Boy Wonder. Did I mention that Beth Haynes was dressed as Wonder Woman?

Toward the back of the magazine is a calendar of upcoming events. It says that Lisa Whelchel will be speaking at a church in Loudon on August 17 and 18. They also have a listing for a new exhibit called "Hatching the Past: Dinosaur Eggs, Nests and Young" at the McClung Museum. Somewhat ironically, that calendar listing is only a few pages after a two page spread on the Creation Museum in Kentucky.

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

muggle juggle

The secret to enjoying the new movie "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" is to forget the details of the book. Or at least put some time between reading and watching. I read the first six Harry Potter books over the summer of 2005 and I'm glad I did. The last couple of movies would be difficult to follow if I hadn't. However my wife and son recently re-read "Order of the Phoenix" so it would be fresh in their minds before we saw the movie tonight. I sat in the theatre ignorant, happy and reveling in the digital projection while my family members were a little dissatisfied because of all the things the filmmakers left out. The only real problem I had with the movie was an inconsistency with the way it looks when Sirius Black speaks to Harry through the fireplace. They should have made it look the same as in "Goblet of Fire."

A co-worker who saw the film Tuesday night was also let down. He too had just re-read the books to prepare for the seventh and final novel. I might skim through "Half-Blood Prince" before reading "Deathly Hallows" but I'll make sure flush it out of my brain before the next movie comes out.

We may have overestimated the crowds at the movie theatre tonight. We arrived at 7:20. Instead of buying tickets for the 7:30 show, we opted for the 7:45 screening to be sure that we could get our favorite seats, like we've done before. The ticket taker told us that we could have just as easily gone to the earlier show. Moviegoers in this area tend to arrive very close to the posted showtime. On my way to the rest room at 7:29, I ducked into the 7:30 theatre and counted 12 audience members. The seats I would have chosen were still available. On the plus side, I had some extra time to hear "Movie Tunes" with Kris Erik Stevens.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

soupermen

One week ago at this time, I was interviewing Jaret Reddick and Chris Burney of Bowling For Soup. We were in their tour bus after StarJam 2007. Our conversation was posted on the Star 102.1 website today. As you probably can tell from watching, Jaret and Chris are great interviewees.



The BFS guys participated in a meet and greet before the show. During the interview, I asked Jaret about a band that he is championing. Earlier in the day I had spotted him intensely watching Army of Freshmen.



I took a few pictures of things backstage that interested me, including some guy riding around on a Cooler Scooter.



My Bowling For Soup interview was edited down to about five minutes. In one story that didn't make the final cut, Jaret told me about the time that Jimmy Kimmel made fun of their appearance at the 2003 Grammy Awards. Jimmy didn't realize at the time that the band was already booked to perform on his show the following week. I will have to get myself a copy of the raw footage. Here's a couple of shots of the stage before and during the BFS set last week.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

big enough to drive a truck through

It seemed as if there were more stunt performers than actors listed in the credits for "Live Free or Die Hard." The exciting action scenes more than make up for the gaping plot holes but I am still left with some questions. As in many other movies, the villain turned bad when his employer wouldn't heed his warnings. In this case he told them to prepare for a cyber attack. He leaves his job and plots a crime to prove that they should have listened to him. But if they weren't paying attention to him, why did they build a multi-million dollar facility exactly to his specifications? I must have missed that explanation. The whole purpose of the building is to back up data in the event of an attack, just like the villain had predicted. Now he knows precisely how to work the system in his favor. And another thing, if all the cell phones are knocked out of service, why does OnStar still work? C'mon!

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Monday, July 09, 2007

go broadcast yourself

An unusually large crowd filled the upper room at Patrick Sullivan's last Tuesday night. It was the night before a holiday and they were looking for a laugh. The audience had a lot of energy which resulted in plenty of good suggestions for my improv brothers and me to play with on stage. It was one of our better performances. I was using the restroom after the show when I heard a booming voice behind me calling my name. It was "Big Brother 2" contestant Kent Blackwelder. He said he enjoyed the show and invited me to visit his Eat N Run Deli in Powell.

Our last seven Einstein Simplified shows have been videotaped by a crew from Blue Diamond Media. The footage will turn up on their TV show "What's Really Good" and on another show that's still in the works. The owners of Blue Diamond's parent company, SCD Entertainment met with us after the improv show last Tuesday. They are starting to post some of our short form games on SCD's YouTube channel. The first three bits available online are from our June 5th show, which was, um, not as good as usual. As could be expected, I was my own toughest critic as I watched the segment that I'm in (some language is NSFW). It's a hybrid of "ABC" and "New Choice." I wasn't happy with my "space work." By kneeling or squatting, I could have better demonstrated that I was supposed to be swimming in muck, looking for goldfish. Fortunately I get a chance to try harder and perhaps do better every Tuesday night. See you there?

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

might as well be walking on the sun

The Sunsphere reopened to the public on Thursday!



Earlier today, my wife packed some salads in the cooler and we took our son downtown for a picnic in World's Fair Park and a ride up to the inside of the Sunsphere. One of the other tourists in the elevator recognized my voice from the radio, which is always surprising and amusing. I was happy to see the observation deck all cleaned up and looking nice. They had the air-conditioning cranked up, which was great on a hot day. Afterward we got a dark chocolate-covered pretzel rod for dessert at The South's Finest Chocolate Factory.





In May of 2004, the city let people see the Sunsphere "as is." I was not about to let an opportunity like that pass me by. The first thing I noticed as I stepped out of the elevator was that the observation deck had been infested with pigeons and their droppings. One of the other visiting citizens was a self-proclaimed expert on the structure. According to him, the builders avoided some red tape back in 1982 by claiming that the Sunsphere is only eight stories tall and therefore not subject to the regulations for taller buildings. Its actual height would be more like twenty-six stories if they counted the shaft. The first three floors are at the base of the tower. Four through eight are inside the ball. The fourth floor is the observation deck, at the bottom of the actual sphere. At the top is the eighth floor, which had some city offices. My then radio partner, Ashley, and I used our positions as "members of the media" to talk a city employee into letting us climb to the roof. We took a ladder from the eighth floor to an attic above the ceiling. Another ladder led to a hatch and the open air. There's not much room up there. Most of the space is taken up by air conditioning equipment. Ashley and I swapped cameras and snapped photos of each other.



Now that Knoxville's most visible landmark has reopened, I should notify Roadside America.

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Saturday, July 07, 2007

meet and treat

It was hot at the Smoky Mountain Invitational swim meet but not quite as uncomfortable as it was last year. The schedule of events showed that our son had a six hour wait between his first and second race. We could have cooled off by taking a cold shower or by paying a dollar to jump into the "free swim" area of the pool. Instead we got in the car and went to a movie in an air conditioned theatre.

We saw "Ratatouille" at the Carmike Foothills 12. All of their screens have digital projection. I am now spoiled and only want to see movies that way from now on. The movie was very good, quickly overcoming one part that I thought was a little slow. It's completely G-rated but the subject matter sailed over the head of the littlest kids in the audience. In fact, they left early. They could have been turned off by the drama of a restaurant losing a star from its five-star rating or by the legal ramifications of a character's paternity.

After the movie, it was back to the Springbrook Pool and the SMI. Like at every meet, many kids had their event and heat numbers written on their arms. At all the meets so far this year, I've noticed a lot of swimmers, mostly girls, with the phrase "eat my bubbles" written on their backs. I'm still waiting for somebody to change it to "breathe my bubbles." Doesn't that make more sense? Several swimmers had their team names written on their bodies. I saw things like "Go Gators," "Go Sharks," "Go Dolphins" and so on. My favorite team name is the "Smokin' Salmon." They swim for a Jewish community center. At a swim meet last month, I noticed a sign posted by the guy who lives next to one of the neighborhood pools. Apparently his name for the local swim team is "Sprinkler Heads" as he implores: "Please, sprinkler heads, do not drive on the grass."



My son swam his last event around 6 p.m., eleven hours after we had arrived at the pool. We rewarded his performance with a trip to Brooklyn's Original Pizza in Lenoir City. Nick, the owner, remembered us from our last visit and probably from the Knoxville Yankee picnic. He also said that he just saw me on stage at the radio station's Fourth of July concert.

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Friday, July 06, 2007

that's what chlorine is for

Part of owning a backyard pool is sometimes finding a dead animal in the water. Two summers ago I saved a box turtle that had fallen in. This year I haven't been as lucky. At the beginning of the swim season, five (dramatic) chipmunks ended it all in my pool. I suspect that they were in search of a drink during the current Tennessee drought. Three of the chipmunks were floaters. The other two I had to retrieve from the bottom using a net on a long pole. A couple of listeners have sent emails suggesting that I purchase a product to help the critters climb out of the pool before it's too late. One wrote to tell me about the Frog Saver Lily Pad, the other about the Froglog.

My wife and I had lunch with Dr. Bill Bass and his lovely wife Carol yesterday. We talked about plenty of stuff besides the Body Farm but when the conversation did turn to forensic anthropology, I asked about floaters (no, not Ralph, Charles, Paul and Larry). Maybe the chipmunks were still on my mind (no, not Alvin, Simon and Theodore). Dr. Bass told us about a study on bodies in water done at the Body Farm that was described in the book "Death's Acre." He also told us about a failed effort to test an underwater body cage in the river. More research needs to be done in this area. I didn't get around to asking Dr. Bass about bodies in Lake Tahoe. I remember reading that the cold, deep water keeps them from ever floating to the surface. Before the conversation moved on, he jokingly suggested that I enroll at UT and do a Master's thesis on floaters.

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Thursday, July 05, 2007

snack breaking news

The cashier was about halfway through her Limited Edition Elvis Reese's Big Cup. She set it down on the counter and turned back to her cash register just before I walked in to a Walgreens in Farragut.



I asked the cashier (I think her name tag said Ashley) about the counter display. She told me that the Big Cups had arrived today (a couple of days ahead of schedule).



The wrappers bear the next design in the series of "collector's edition packages." She offered to give me the empty box the packages had come in because it said "collector box 2 of 2" on it. I declined.



Ashley said the artificial banana taste permeated throughout the the peanut butter cup. She didn't love it but it still sounded pretty good to me. However I resisted the urge to buy one since I already had a banana flavored treat this week when I tried a banana creme filled Twinkie on Monday.

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

self-evident truths

Happy Independence Day! I enjoyed reading R. Neal's post at KnoxViews this morning. It's an excerpt from the Declaration of Independence.

I have to leave the house pretty soon for a work event. Everyone is telling me to allow three hours for the 45 mile drive to Pigeon Forge. I know that it's only half the distance if I take Chapman Highway but I'm going to try to avoid some traffic by going through the Peaceful Side of the Smokies.

Since I'll be gone all day, I set my two TiVos to record the annual Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on ESPN and several Fourth of July specials tonight. At 8 o'clock, I'm recording the local Festival on the 4th on WBIR and "A Capitol Fourth" on PBS. I don't have the technology to also record the tape-delayed (from last night) "Taste of Chicago Fireworks Spectacular" on WVLT-2. At 10 o'clock, I will record the "Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular" on CBS. Fortunately "Let Freedom Sing: Music City July 4th Concert" on GAC will be repeated several times over the next few days. Don't tell anyone at GAC but once again I'll fast forward through the country acts and just watch the Nashville Symphony.

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

brick and mortar

Occasionally someone finds my site after searching for information about a new strip mall on "scenic" Middlebrook Pike. It's between a liquor store and a laundromat near the intersection of Piney Grove Church Road. On the other side of the laundromat is my favorite BBQ shack, M&M Catering. The other day a banner went up announcing that one of the businesses in the strip mall will be Nixon's Deli. which usually scores well in the annual newspaper reader polls.

Another new restaurant is being built farther down Middlebrook Pike near the intersection of Cedar Bluff Road. A clerk at the Walgreens next door told me that the new building will be an Aubrey's Restaurant. I found some references on the Internet that confirm the good news. I've eaten at the Aubrey's near the Landmark Center office building a couple of times and found it to be quite good. In the very near future I will try another restaurant in the Aubrey's family when I have lunch with a local forensic celebrity and his wife at Edison Park.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

cruising down the Cariboo Road

Before recording any Fourth of July concerts and fireworks like I did last year, I need to clear some space on my TiVo. While I'm busy doing that, let me share a photo that my friend Bean sent me today. If he still had a blog, his entry today probably would have been all about his visit to the World's Largest Chainsaw in Lillooet, British Columbia!

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Sunday, July 01, 2007

money to burn

The down-the-street neighbors are playing with fireworks tonight. An article in the current Metro Pulse points out that Tennessee is one of only ten states that don't require a permit to shoot them off. As of today, you do have to be at least 16 years old to buy fireworks. My neighbors could have bought their mortar shells at any of the countless stands just outside the Knox county line. Or they could have picked them up from the merchant whose TV commercial I saw this morning.

Bimbo's sells fireworks year round from their location just off I-75 in Lenoir City. Their TV spots are of the "so-bad-its-good" variety. As I recall, the owner of Bimbo's (and star of the commercial) is on the Lenoir City council. I met him when I got the key to Lenoir City during a remote broadcast almost five years ago. Since they are running ads, the city must have resolved last year's discussion over whether Bimbo's should be able to sell fireworks and gasoline at the same location. Also last year, a blogger named Bay Loftis wrote about her excitement over buying and exploding fireworks from Bimbo's.

A few years ago I did a phone interview with Deborah Norville of "Inside Edition." I wanted to ask her about a comment she made on "The View." While she was describing her family's road trip from New York to Georgia. she said that Tennessee had the best bathrooms. When I asked Deborah about our local rest stops, she volunteered that she and her family had stopped at Bimbo's because she couldn't resist the name.

The owners of Bimbo's Fireworks must know what their name means to most people. I wonder if the makers of Bimbo snack cakes realize the connotation of the word in this country. Bimbo could turn up in Mexican marketing textbooks just like the Chevy Nova did in our books.


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