Saturday, December 31, 2005
my weird habits
1) I have a thing about periodicals. I don't like anyone else to open my newspaper or magazines before I do.
2) I like to collect DVDs for my archives but I hardly ever watch them. I'm only interested in discs with lots of extra features and I get upset when they release a more complete collector's edition of a DVD I already own.
3) I often interject myself into strangers' conversations with a tidbit of information on the topic they were discussing.
4) I cannot be disturbed during my nap. You can try but my family will just tell you to call back later.
5) I can't stand having food trash in the wastebasket in the studio or our cubicle at work.
6) I have to open computer programs in a specific order so they appear that way in the bar at the bottom of the screen.
7) I love to be photographed with Roadside Americana.
8) I read the obituaries but only the ones with photos.
9) I often go to funerals of people I never met (but I know at least one of their survivors.)
10) I have a special fondness for all things marshmallow.
Now it's my turn to tag five blogging friends with this meme. I choose Jessica, Ken, Frank, Perry and Sarah.
In my search for the word "meme," I found somebody else's meme that looked pretty good too. It's a list of ten favorite foods. How do I join a stranger's meme? Or can I just start my own meme on the same topic?
Friday, December 30, 2005
she must know what I like
I think it's funny that my daughter's snapshot looks better than the photo of the Puffy Shirt on the Smithsonian website.
Labels: family, museums, photos, Seinfeld, Washington DC
Thursday, December 29, 2005
ho ho ho
The other day one of the counselors asked me if I was giving out the right phone number. She thought I should be announcing a number that ends with SLIM, like some of the other deejays. Anyway, she told me that someone had tried calling my number and got some sort of adult phone line instead.
Naturally, I tried calling the number myself. It rang straight through to the West Knoxville location of LA Weight Loss. I guess the moral of the story is to dial carefully. With both hands.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
items too short for their own postings
Michael Vale, the actor from the Dunkin' Donuts commercials, used to joke that he got paid in doughnuts. He died of diabetes.
AARP The Magazine's website is advising retirees on how to download music. And listen to classic Bob Hope jokes. Isn't that somethin'?
TiVo got shafted in PC World's list of the top 50 gadgets of the past 50 years. It should have been number one not number three.
My daughter has a theory that if you pass the test to get on "Jeopardy!" then you go on "Jeopardy!" But if you fail miserably, they put you on "Wheel of Fortune."
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
here comes Jabba Claus
Monday, December 26, 2005
gram slam
Today I asked my son to put one dark chocolate M&M at a time on Doug's scale. 22 weren't enough and 23 were too many. As the photos show, it takes 22 an a half M&Ms to equal 20 grams of chocolatey goodness. Anybody know where I can buy some half M&Ms?
Sunday, December 25, 2005
seasons eatings
This year things had to be different. Today I found several LA Weight Loss snacks in my stocking including a couple of their biscotti, some muffin tops and bags of their toffee popcorn. I am determined to follow the program strictly. Fortunately they gave us some little "tip cards" that are meant to be carried in a wallet or purse. According to the cards, I could have 4 ounces of egg nog and count it toward my starch, dairy and fat allowances. After I finished my salad for lunch, I had four Hershey's Kisses, which count as only one starch. I just did the math to figure out how many M&Ms are equal to four kisses. Anybody have a scale that can accurately measure 20 grams? I still have a big bag of dark chocolate M&Ms waiting for me.
Our best friends from Burbank, Charlie and Anja, sent a great gift box from Mrs. Beasley's. We'll have to freeze some of those treats until my wife and I meet our weight loss goals. My agent sent a nice gift basket from Stew Leonard's, some of which will also wait in the freezer.
Speaking of frozen treats, I did decide to freeze some egg nog and save it for next summer. Earlier this month, my wife made several trips to Weigel's checking for the day that egg nog with a December 25 expiration date went on sale.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
in good company
As I mentioned in a posting on Wednesday, there are some much bigger names than us involved. You'll see Governor Phil Bredesen, Congressman Jimmy Duncan, Mayor Bill Haslam, Mayor Mike Ragsdale, Police Chief Sterling Owen IV, Coach Pat Summitt, Coach Bruce Pearl most of the WVLT personalities and some other people I didn't recognize.
In the immortal words of Raymond Burr as Robert Ironside, "Merry Christmas, Eve."
his nipples how merry
Since tonight is the night before Christmas, click on the button and enjoy one of our family's favorite holiday memories.
Friday, December 23, 2005
stocking stuffers
Gretchen from 93.1 The Point sent a Christmas e-card that made me laugh. It's just plain silly. Be sure to click on the string of lights along the bottom.
Tim Padilla has a new Christmas CD. He's an accordion player at the Lawrence Welk resort in Branson and I guess you could say that I knew him way back when.
Yesterday I was wondering aloud on the radio if there were any Christmas mashups. An email from a listener named Bill said simply:
Yes Virginia, Christmas mashups do exist! http://www.djbc.net/christmas/Another friend named Tim sent a great Christmas card this year. Somehow he got Rachael Ray to agree to be his "radio girlfriend."
Thursday, December 22, 2005
is the pendulum swinging the other way?
Every time I came out of a store and got back in the car, it seemed that B97.5 was playing a religious song. I heard "Mary, Did You Know" by Kenny Rogers, "O Holy Night" by Josh Groban and "Do You Hear What I Hear?" by Whitney Houston. Could it be that this station was reacting to all the "War on Christmas" hype by playing more religious songs?
With this on my mind, I went to Wal-Mart's "Holiday Shop." I had hoped to take a photo of their "Illuminated Donkey" to show you. For some reason the phrase "illuminated donkey" makes me smile. Anyway, they were sold out of illuminated donkeys but they still had some camels and sheep. All the giant nativity figures seemed to be selling well. The ones they had left were prominently displayed and you could tell that the shelves and pallets were being depleted.
Just inside the "Holiday Shop" entrance was a little boombox playing an all-Christmas radio station. Between songs there were announcements for local churches and other Christian messages. I realized that I was hearing Love 89, the Christian hits station, inside a Wal-Mart. Here's where it gets confusing. The Christian station was playing "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," a secular song. But it wasn't the Brenda Lee version. The deejay said that it was by Mercy Me and that they would be performing the song on that night's Jay Leno show.
So now I'm thinking that I'm hearing religious songs on the commercial station and secular songs on the Christian station. When I got home, I clicked onto a great website called Yes.com. It lets you look up the songs played on many radio stations in the last 24 hours. B97.5 did play the religious songs I heard but they were spread out over a couple of hours and almost all the songs in between were secular. Love 89 is filling their time with some secular songs but often using versions performed by Christian artists. EZ88 plays a lot of songs that the Yes.com software doesn't recognize, making it look like they play less music than they actually do.
I loaned some of my Christmas CDs to Star 102.1 to freshen up the Christmas rotations. This morning we played five Christmas songs, four of which had come from my collection: "Santa Baby" by the Pussycat Dolls, "My Grown Up Christmas List" by Kelly Clarkson, "Angels We Have Heard On High" by the Brian Setzer Orchestra and "Silent Night" by Lifehouse. Nearing the end of the morning show the score was Religious 2, Secular 2. The tie breaking song was... "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
the part about the peddler and his pack
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
blog about blog
Yesterday I got an email from a reader named Kurt in Champaign, Illinois. He wrote, in part:
I recently came across your Web site and blog, and I've been enjoying reading your thoughts. I can especially relate to your posts about swimming, as that'’s also my favorite form of exercise (I also don't like to sweat, but I also like the relative quiet of swimming, as opposed to the noise from TVs, machines, and other people in gyms).I had to write back and ask him how he found my blog and what made him come back for a second visit. His reply gave me a very good laugh:
I think I came across your site while doing a Google search using the term "pear-shaped" (sorry -- I know it's probably not your favorite descriptor!). And I returned because I enjoyed your writing, which is much better than what I tend to see in blogs (I'm a book editor, so I'm picky about such things.)It's fun to get reactions from readers but I get surprised by what inspires people to post something. Of all the posts I've written, the one that has the most (eight) comments is a short paragraph I wrote on November 12 about the caffeinated cheerleader in a T-Mobile commercial. She must get Googled a lot.
I decided to look for myself on Google's blog search and found that I had been cited again on one of East Tennessee's top blogs, No Silence Here. I take that as a big compliment.
Monday, December 19, 2005
seemed like a good idea at the time
At first it looked like each Daily Variety would arrive only five days late but five soon turned into ten. As I'm waiting for a mother lode of back issues to all arrive on the same day, I've been keeping track of the mail:
Saturday, December 10: received the Monday, Dec. 5 issue
Monday, December 12: did not receive an issue
Tuesday, December 13: received the Tuesday, Dec. 6 issue
Wednesday, December 14: received the Wednesday, Dec. 7 issue
Thursday, December 15: did not receive an issue
Friday, December 16: did not receive an issue
Saturday, December 17: received the Thursday, Dec. 8 issue
Monday, December 19: received the Friday, Dec. 9 issue
Maybe things will improve after Christmas and maybe I shouldn't be complaining about this on the busiest mailing day of the year.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
gauche
This year Walgreens is even selling gift cards for other businesses. They had gift cards for restaurants like Red Lobster and stores like Hollywood Video. They're also selling gift cards for national chains that don't have outlets anywhere near here. I saw gift cards for AMC Theatres and for the Rainforest Cafe among others.
There was one thing in the Sunday advertising flyer I had to see for myself. The ad said they had pre-wrapped Christmas gifts. How would you know what you were buying? Fortunately each gift has an easily removable cardboard sleeve that shows the contents. At $9.99, these items are perfect to give when your workplace has forced participation in a Secret Santa gift exchange with a $10 limit. Look at the fine quality items:
Saturday, December 17, 2005
standing update
The former music director of the Knoxville Symphony, Kirk Trevor, can't get away from standing audiences He's quoted in a recent Indianapolis Star article:Speaking of scholars, they've also pretty much debunked one of the persistent traditions associated with the work - the practice of standing for the "Hallelujah" Chorus.
The familiar story has it that King George II, attending the first London performance of the piece in 1743, suddenly jumped up, reasons unspecified, during the singing of what has become the most familiar of all Messiah excerpts. And when the king stood, everyone else automatically had to do the same.
The only problem is that no record of that monarch's attendance has ever surfaced. He may have gone unannounced, but, in that case, probably would not have attracted the attention needed to get everyone upright. At any rate, the first written mention of the standing tradition appears to be from the mid-1750s, and it refers to standing for choral numbers - plural. Go figure.
As for the tradition of the audience standing for the "Hallelujah" chorus, ostensibly because a monarch once stood for it, Trevor isn't thrilled about it. "Standing during the 'Hallelujah' rather detracts from the performance," he said."Suddenly, the spirit and the magic of 'Messiah' is lost by this circus trick of standing up for no other reason than some English king 300 years ago wanted to go to the bathroom."
Friday, December 16, 2005
all rise
Later in the evening when the "Hallelujah Chorus" began, some people in the audience stood up. Eventually we all did so as not to feel stupid. I didn't know why we were standing, so I asked the woman next to me. She didn't know either. Is it a Baptist thing? Or maybe a Southern thing? My wife said the audience also stood for the "Hallelujah" last weekend at a concert she did at the Cumberland County Playhouse.
Before most of the songs, Maestro Lucas Richman would turn to the audience and chat about the upcoming piece. As he introduced the "Carol of the Bells," he said that the song had some connection to puppeteer Shari Lewis. He was trying to say that Shari was on the "Kukla, Fran and Ollie" show. I thought everyone knew that it was actually Burr Tillstrom who was the hand inside Kukla and Ollie. In an attempt to be helpful, I yelled out the name of Shari Lewis' puppet "Lamb Chop" from my seat in the audience. Wouldn't you? Unfortunately the Maestro didn't finish the story so we'll never know what puppets had to do with the "Carol of the Bells."
Thursday, December 15, 2005
fly swatter
The question I get the most often is "what time does your alarm go off?" There are three answers to that question. My clock radio comes on at 3:30 a.m. It's tuned to the FM simulcast of TV channel 6. The clock radio alarm sounds at 3:59. The battery powered backup alarm goes off at 4:00. I usually stay in bed listening to "World News Now" until 4:30. Somehow my wife is able to sleep through all this.
When a new alarm clock hits the market, I'm always interested. The latest invention in wake up technology is called the Blowfly. When it's time to wake up, the alarm clock will launch a toy helicopter that flies around the room and buzzes until you catch it! That might be easy for a Quidditch seeker but can you imagine me climbing over my wife at 4:00 a.m. trying to catch the Blowfly?
I'm also a little troubled that they named the clock after an insect that feeds on corpses and was the title of a Patricia Cornwell novel.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
she took second place
You were waiting for this... and it's finally here! Casting for The Amazing Race, Season 10, is underway. Head to www.cbs.com to download the application. This edition of The Amazing Race will consist of two-person teams.Of course I looked at FSA Entertainment's website but actually found more useful info by doing a Google search for Joe's email address.
Do you want to take a trip to Cancun with dear old dad? MTV is seeking attractive girls between the ages of 18 and 21 to travel with their dads to Cancun from March 5th-11th, 2006. Fathers should be "opinionated and fun, as well as a little conservative and protective."
If interested, contact Joe at (310) 927-0505 or email joe@fsaentertainment.com
Jessica knows I'm a fan of The Amazing Race. But why did she tell me about a casting call for opinionated, fun, conservative and protective fathers of attractive girls between the ages of 18 and 21? Hmm... I wonder...
In completely unrelated news, here's a camera phone photo of my daughter competing in a pizza eating contest during Midnight Madness at her college:
The first person to eat one slice, drink a 20 ounce soda and belch into the microphone would be the winner. The three girls in the contest all finished before the three guys did.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
that was no speed bump
The turtles were hatched from eggs removed from two dead female turtles hit by cars in separate incidents. University of Tennessee College of Veterinary Medicine doctors surgically removed the eggs after the females were brought to the school.The turtles are wintering at the Knoxville Zoo. They'll be released into the wild in the spring. In other zoo news, the animals like playing with unusual junk.
Six eggs were taken from a severely injured female that had to be euthanized in late June. Two were removed from a turtle that died overnight after being hit by a car in Knoxville in mid-July.
Meanwhile, I'm hoping that the turtle I saved will stay near my house and bring me good luck.
Monday, December 12, 2005
guess what I'm giving for Christmas this year
"All I Want For Christmas Is You" by My Chemical Romance
"Back Door Santa" by Jet
"Baby It's Cold Outside" by Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone
"Blue Christmas" by The Mavericks
"Christmas Medley" by Liberace
"Christmas Of Love" by Little Isidore & The Inquisitors
"Jingle Bells" by Danny Kaye
"My Christmas List" by Simple Plan
"Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" by Jack Johnson
"Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" by Dolly Parton
"Santa Claus Is Back In Town" by Dwight Yoakam
"Winter Wonderland" by Jason Mraz
What songs would you include on your ultimate Christmas mix disc?
Sunday, December 11, 2005
natatorium
Backyard pools are great if you're the one who uses them. I met a couple who thought their children (and then grandchildren) would enjoy a pool. After a few years they gave up and had the pool filled in with dirt. I've always heard that pools add nothing to the value of a house. My experience buying homes in California and Tennessee supports that theory.
This fall, just like he did the year before, my chiropractor, Dr. Chris Hosenfeld, strongly urged me to find an indoor pool where I could get some exercise during the colder months. I had resisted because I didn't want to be seen in a swimsuit outside my privacy fence. Things changed recently. You may recall that my program director suggested I go on a weight loss program and do endorsement commercials for it. The program director also said I could use the station's account at a local health club.
I've been on the weight loss program since September 20. By Thanksgiving I had lost 23 pounds and was thinking that maybe I could stand to burn a few calories in the pool. I forced myself to face my fear and went to the health club for a tour. The guy at the club asked several questions about my goals and what had kept me from joining sooner. I told him how I didn't like being seen in my swim trunks but that I was going to deal with it. He said that after a couple of visits, nobody at the club notices anybody else. Well, I've got news for him. Maybe nobody at the club notices me, but after several visits I can tell you that I notice everybody who is thinner than me, which is almost everybody. I doubt that I am the only one looking at the attractive women.
Generally speaking, the other swimmers are men who are several years older than me. The pool is the least busy area of the club. Most of the clientele use the treadmills, ellipticals and weight machines instead. I see plenty of body builders there, some who look like they would fail a Major League Baseball drug test. On Friday I saw a weightlifter with a full-on mullet. I guess no one will ever tell him to get a haircut.
Each time I arrive at the club, one particular employee asks me if I'm there to work out or "just swim." I remind him that I'm only interested in swimming not sweating and he says that whenever I'm ready he'll show me how to use the various machinery. Why doesn't swimming get any respect at the health club? It's not like I show up with an inner tube.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
reading is fundamental
And then this afternoon I read the first chapter of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" at Regal Cinemas' Pinnacle 18.
Friday, December 09, 2005
let's all go to the lobby
When money is tight, my family and I have to be more selective about which films are worth our box office dollars. We paid full price to go see "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." The next movies I might pay full price for are "The Producers" and "King Kong." Of course, a discounted matinee would always be better. For most movies, it makes sense financially for us to wait for the DVD.
I'll be at the movie theater tomorrow because I was asked to read aloud from "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." After I read the book's first chapter in the multiplex lobby, my family and I will stay to watch "The Chronicles of Narnia." If we time it right, we can see it on the screen with the digital projector.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
he resented performing for idiots
ABC has a very good overnight newscast called "World News Now." They often show clips from the past and call it "World News Then." This morning just before they showed a clip of Ted Koppel from 25 years ago, the anchors made a point of asking viewers to keep in mind that John Lennon was shot at 10:50 p.m., only 40 minutes before "Nightline" airs. I think they were trying to apologize for the fact that Koppel treated Lennon's death as late-breaking news but would still go ahead with his main story about the situation in Poland. If they had watched the video on ABCNews.com, they would have known that Lennon was shot on a Monday night and that the person who broke the news of Lennon's death to the nation was actually Howard Cosell. "Nightline" would have been delayed by at least an hour that night.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
proof
What is your least favorite Christmas song?
a) The Chipmunk Song
b) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
c) The Christmas Shoes
d) none of the above
By the way, I found a link on Wikipedia that lets you hear what the Chipmunks sound like at normal speed. It's worth a click.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
dot dot dotting along
Monday, December 05, 2005
blogrolling
Chocolate covered Oreos (5th item) from The Buzz List
Cynthia Watros' mugshot from Defamer
An eclectic Christmas song playlist from Left of the Dial
A reminder about Johnia Berry from Les Jones
The Quote of the Day from PopWatch
New TiVo features from PVRblog
A review of the Hollywood Christmas Parade from Perry Simon
A photo of Jessica Simpson's weird lips from The Superficial
Not one but two updates on January's TV schedule from Terry Morrow
A french fry holder (7th item) from The Wire
Honorable mention must go to a couple of other blogs I've been reading but haven't added to the "official blogroll" yet:
An excerpt from a TV pilot script from Ken Levine
A link to the off the menu items at In-n-Out from Jessica's Diary
Brat Mitzvah photos from The Marc & Kim and Frank Radio Network
An amazing electromagnetic theory from Get Lost with M&K and F
Okay, those last two are a little self serving but still worth a click.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
flip for Wiig
begins at home
yes, more on balloons
Saturday, December 03, 2005
up, up and away
In other balloon news, Robin B. Hall is determined to keep his giant helium inflatables in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. You go Robin.
Friday, December 02, 2005
if money were no object
If you don't know where to begin when shopping for a digital camera, iPod or other electronics, check out Consumer Tech Tips. Should some company trap you in customer "service" telephone hell, check this handy cheat sheet for the code to get a live person on the phone.
If all else fails, buy slightly outrageous t-shirts for everyone on your list.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
at least the ACLU is happy
The pop disc has an assortment of secular holiday songs from the likes of Gavin DeGraw, Rob Thomas, Seal, Jason Mraz and Ray Charles (huh?). There are a two people on there I wasn't familiar with: Leigh Nash and Jimmy Sommers. The only link about the disc that I found was on the Goo Goo Dolls' website. The r&b disc actually has some religious Christmas songs on it. Babyface does "The First Noel," someone named Heather Headley does "O Holy Night" and Aretha Franklin does "Joy to the World." The disc also has "My Christmas Prayer" by BeBe Winans, which was on a CD sold exclusively at Starbucks last year that was one of Oprah's favorite things.
In Sunday's post, I wrote that the only new Christmas disc I had received so far was the new one by the Brian Setzer Orchestra. I'm watching their performance on this morning's Tony Danza Show as I type this. Man, I sure wish I could get to Nashville for their concert next week. I guess I'll just have to put their Christmas DVD on my wish list. I also TiVo-ed their performances on Conan O'Brien's show and the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree lighting special.
Anyway, I had forgotten that I made a special trip to Best Buy on November 6 to get their "Sweet Tracks" CD that was free to Reward Zone members. The disc promised songs by the Pussycat Dolls, Lifehouse, Mary J. Blige, Sting and others. To the surprise of no one, the Pussycat Dolls sing "Santa Baby." It was less predictable that Lifehouse would do "Silent Night." Someone named Kaci Brown does "O Holy Night."
As I listen to Christmas music on the radio, I notice that almost all the songs are secular. You know, Frosty, Rudolph, Silver Bells, Winter Wonderland, blah blah blah. I heard a few minutes of Delilah's nationally syndicated show tonight. She referred to the songs as "holiday music" not Christmas music. The only song I heard Delilah play tonight that mentioned Jesus was the maudlin "The Christmas Shoes," which isn't about the nativity. It's about a kid going shopping for his dying mother. It's increasingly rare that you'll hear a song on the radio that you will also hear in church. In 2003 and 2004, I worked at a radio station that played a lot of Christmas music on the weekends. One day after hearing "Holly Jolly Christmas" for the thousandth time, I decided to look through the music logs in search of "O Come All Ye Faithful" or "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" or any song that was even remotely about the true meaning of Christmas. As you can probably guess, I found none.
The "holiday songs" are nice and cheery but they don't satisfy. They leave an empty feeling. I need to hear something with a deeper meaning than "Wonderful Christmastime" to stir the memories and emotions of Christmases past. What do you say, radio programmers?